Hi there,
I am a single mum of a 15 year old daughter,I have brought her up on my own since her father walked out when she was 11 weeks old, after admitting to at least seven long affairs during our 15 years of marriage, even sleeping in our Bed with his girlfriend when I was in hospital giving birth ! When my daughter was christened he decided to take his girlfriend to Paris instead of attending the christening. It has been an almighty struggle,I encouraged my ex-husband to have a relationship with my daughter as he wasn’t interested at first. He then started court cases from when she was two,trying to get joint custody, I have represented myself 20 times in court as I had no funds to have representation , he on the other hand had a barrister and a solicitor . I didn’t stop him seeing my daughter, but his controlling personality,horrible temper and unbalanced personality wasn't something I felt my daughter should endure for long periods of time. He introduced her to many girlfriends,until he married when my daughter was nine years old. He provided my daughter with a phone and would ring her constantly ofter up to 20 -30 text messages a day and 5 or 6 phone calls a day. If I tried to contact my daughter her phone was blocked. This man has made my life a misery,he is a doctor earning £12,000 a month and since he managed to get joint custody two years ago he doesn’t pay a penny in child maintenance. When my daughter was only a-year-old he contacted BT and cut my phone line off he then went on to threaten cutting off my gas electricity and water. His behaviour is condoned by his new wife. They have now turned my daughter against me, telling her if she doesn’t study she will amount to nothing just like her mother. If I have tried to discipline my daughter she now calls him , he will collect her immediately no matter what time of day or night it is and undermine any discipline. My daughter speaks to me with complete disregard and disrespect, which he condones and even rewards. Every Christmas or Birthday he creates drama. This year I was due to have my daughter on Christmas Eve until lunchtime on Christmas Day, instead he made arrangements for all his family to come round on Christmas Eve which of course my daughter didn’t want to miss. He had her for a week from Christmas Day onwards any of these days could have been for his family gathering. This was the second year on the run I haven’t seen my daughter. On the court order It states her passport is supposed to stay with me , he refuses to leave it with me. This year he renewed her passport omitting my name on the contact details. He changed her doctors without my consent. He’s basically trying to wipe me out of her life as her mother and break me emotionally and financially. When I go to court the judge is in the same social circle as my ex-husband , I have requested a different judge stating that this is a conflict of interest. He refused to stand down and admitted to knowing some of the people that my ex-husband knows. On one particular court case I had video evidence of how my landline and my mobile phone had both been blocked from my daughters phone. This same judge refused to let me show this evidence. I need help from anyone that recognises this type of toxic behaviour. As he is a doctor nobody challenges his behaviour, since leaving he has had two different addresses, he has taken neighbours to court in both addresses, he has signs of being a sociopath as he has the ability to charm people in his surgery. It is only in the last five years that the laws and coercive abuse have changed, I didn’t realise I was in an abusive relationship for years and now my concerns are that my daughter is in this relationship with her father. Could someone please reach out and give me some help.