How do you deal with guilt and regret?

[Justkeeepsmiling]

I'm struggling at the moment and wondered if anyone has any advice or help please? I lost my job a couple of months ago - A situation I got involved in, although not as involved as much as my work thought, I got dismissed because of it, I appealed and lost - Because of this I am now claiming benefits. I feel so guilty the implications this has had on everybody.
My DS is off school, obviously. He is so bored. I try and think of things to do with him everyday, but other than walks, I'm struggling. Things have slowly started to open up, but I just don't have the money to do anything with him. He sits in his room a lot of the time, I keep asking him whats wrong and if he is ok, he insists that he is, but I get the feeling he is sitting up there out the way, Like he doesn't want to sit with me, or do anything with me and I can't help but think it's because I'm miserable. I regret my involvement in the work situation everyday, I feel guilty every time I see my DS and I just cant seem to move on.

You could try an equivalent of confession - although writing it on here I suppose is one version. Another might be to tell a friend or ring Samaritans.

Most people have got a handful of regrets/failures/wrongs in their pasts. It's something you have to learn to live with or at least learn to live with the risk of regret and guilt if you try to do anything that doesn't have a guarantee of success. And let's face it, that's more or less everything worth trying to achieve.

Put some time aside. Go through everything you did and ask yourself, with the knowledge you had then (not with hindsight), would you do anything differently?

If yes, then forgive yourself. You're human and allowed to make mistakes.

If no, then how can you regret doing what was sensible and right at the time to you.

Either way, the past is the past. Now you need to look forward.

Can you play games together? Or watch things? Or paint do up the place? You could learn together.

You haven't let anyone down, we can all be fragile at times. Hope for the future. You have a son you love. And want to feel better.

I guess it depends on what you did and why really. I think if you did something with the best of intentions, then you just have to let it go knowing that you would still probably make the same choice again.

I'm guessing because you got sacked though that this wasn't necessarily a mistake or misunderstanding and you've knowingly done something assuming you wouldn't get caught out. I don't know then really. You just have to tell yourself that you made a mistake and you won't do it again. Writing it out or telling someone might help to take the weight off your shoulders. Does your son know the truth? Perhaps telling him, even an edited version might also help you.

Is there anything you can do to try and put the work situation right and by that I mean could you write a letter to the concerned parties explaining your side and apologising for your involvement? I’m sorry if this is way off the mark, it is difficult to know if this is possible without more detail but I appreciate it could be very outing. I only suggest this as it could be a way of facing up to the issues and moving on from it, some kind of closure.
Otherwise time is a great healer. It’s a cliche but it’s so true.
Are you able to look for other work opportunities in the meantime so that you feel you are moving forward?
In terms of activities for you and your DS, what age is he? Spending time together playing board games, crafts, baking, could any of those things work? Just keep trying to communicate with him and ask him if he has any ideas.
Now that lockdown is easing can you do more socially distanced meet-ups with friends and family? Picnics, etc?