MIL Issues!

[Bambam19]

Hi All,
I’m just after some advice, maybe just having a bit of a rant!

After trying for many years I finally had my beautiful baby last year. I quit my job and am loving spending all my time with her. BUT.....then this stupid virus took over my life! My live in mother in law decided that her “sniffle” was Covid-19 and she took time off work. Fair enough, but then she actually had convinced herself and everyone else that she actually had the virus and took more time off....anyway, over 3 months later and she is still at home and it is literally driving me mad!
I was so looking forward to just having this time with my baby, but she is constantly there, lurking in the background. I know it probably sounds as if I’m being unreasonable but we have a lot of history (and she is incredibly nosy) I feel like I can’t be myself while she is here. She is showing no signs of going back to work and I think it may become a permanent thing with her working from home! Any advice? What would you do in my situation? Her moving out is definitely a no no (although she does have her own house!)

Didn't want to read and run.
I felt anxious reading this

Could you go somewhere? Family? They suddenly need help? That you can go stay with for a few years days

Hold on you live with your MIL - i think that’s your issue OP, your a braver woman than me! If she has her own house she needs to live there, you need to bond as a family. Although you haven’t said exactly what about her is causing the issue - just that’s she’s there?

Then she needs to go back to her own house. Why isn't she there now?

I would have packed up and moved to her house ages ago if she won't...

Thanks for all your replies.

I have no idea why she is living here. She moved in a couple of years after we bought our house and has no intention of leaving. It’s obviously better for her financially but she says she doesn’t want to be alone!
There are so many issues with her I don’t know where to start! The main ones being she tells her family everything we say and do, compares my child to that of her family members, does nothing to help out in the house, even with baby. I asked her to watch her once while I was cooking and she said no! Needless to say I have never asked her again and now we don’t really have a relationship. I try to avoid her in the house (if she’s upstairs, I’m downstairs and vice versa). I hate feeling like I can’t do what I want in my own house and I really feel it is affecting my mental health. My husband is stuck in the middle and although he feels the same way we are pressured by family to keep her here. And they all live within walking distance which does not help!

Of course you are pressured to keep her there, while she is with you she isn't with them!

Look she is working so clearly independent enough, it's time to give her her marching orders

Oh op I’m really sorry and I know you said her moving out is a no no but it really doesn’t sound that you should be living under the same roof as her. You deserve to enjoy your baby and it’s childhood, not to be at constant unease in you own home. Perhaps it’s time for whatever family are pressurising you to do their turn now, and have her for a year or 2?

I'd be putting a bloody massive for sale sign up and moving far far away. If you can't do that it's time to ask her to leave.

Your dh is no way stuck in the middle imo.

He is only married to you..

Tell him one of you needs to get gone...
And bloody mean it.

I completely get what you are all saying. My concern is that if we ask her to leave, it will cause a massive rift between my dh and his family. I don’t want to be the cause of that. I feel like I’m in an impossible situation however, I know that if she is permanently at home I won’t be able to cope and will end up leaving myself. I already go and stay with family as much as I can!

Your DH needs to tell her to move out. It's that simple.

What a strange set up that she expects to just live with you!

Move far far away.

I’m serious.

Tell your H, it’s either move house far away leave your MIL behind. Or you leave with baby.

Who gives a shit about massive rift with H and his family. He needs to grow up and deal with his family.

They don’t care about you. A massive rift is the way forward.

Are you from a culture where living with in laws is the norm? Either way, sounds like hell. Sorry, OP. Must be a horrible atmosphere! How tricky.

Of course you are pressured to keep her there, while she is with you she isn't with them!

Yep - just leave - let DH deal with the fall out and you can return when things are better

Make it his problem

This is batshit! "I have no idea why she moved in" wtf?? People don't just move into other people's homes without any discussion!!

Tell you DH either his mother goes to her own house or you and the baby.

I'd also be fucking livid that she thought she had Covid and isolated at your house instead of her own!

Do you own the house op?

Yes we are from a culture where living with in laws is the “norm”.
I just thought when we bought the house (which myself and dh own), as it is so close to hers, she wouldn’t move in but we would be close enough if she needed us! How wrong was I! She literally did move in with no discussion. She slowly started bringing her things over and then that was it.
Things have never been easy but whilst she and I were both working it wasn’t too bad. It just seems like incredibly bad luck that this would happen when I want to spend time at home with my baby. Alone.
Thanks for all your comments, I appreciate them all.

Fuccckkkkkkk!!!!! Just here to say sorry op... that's something I could not cope with and I've got no advice, sorry. Just can you like sell up and move somewhere else?! Fecccck