Going away without children (teenagers)

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My two DC will be 17 and almost 19 next summer. Wondering what to do about summer holiday, if we can freely travel by then of course. This year was meant to be our last proper family holiday before DD goes to University in September, but was cancelled due to Coronavirus. DD has said she probably won't want to come away with us next year, DS will be only just 17 and says he doesn't want to go on his own with us. I am ok with this, they are growing up, all normal. DS not keen on being left at home for a week on his own, as not sure where DD will be (her Uni course is long, 46 weeks a year).

What age did you leave yours at home alone so you and DH could have a holiday? I am willing to miss a year or so of holidays - this year and next - but just wondering what others did? No family nearby to help.

x

Could your DS bring a friend? Although obviously the friends parents (or friend) would need to pay towards the holiday. When I was that age I’d either stay with a friend when my parents went away or a friend would come on holiday too.
I think age to leave them all depends on how comfortable they are and you.

If they are sensible, can look after themselves and the house and get on, that's fine.

I was 15 and DB 22 when DM went away.
She wouldn't have left him without me as I was better at things like locking up. I was too young to be on my own. We got on really well.

Maybe your son could bring a friend?

I was left at home at 16.
All ok apart from the water tank in the loft bursting and water flooding the house.
Good job I knew where the stop cock was.
As long as he knows what to do in an emergency and has some contact numbers I'm sure he will be fine.

We left my stepson on his own for a week and yep he threw a party which got totally out of control.
If you truly trust him you can leave him bit if he's reluctant can he go stay with a mate for a week? Or bring a friend on holiday with you? He may feel differently about staying on his own in a year however.

I have a DD nearly the same age as your ds and I think in these circumstances I would give her the choice of coming with us or not (which you have done) but if she then says she doesn't want to stay at home alone either (which would probably be the case same as your son), I would encourage her to arrange to do something else such as go on her own holiday (volunteering or learning something) and would support her doing that, or get her to arrange to stay with a friend and then offer the friend reciprocal accommodation on our return.

If possible, I would offer to drop them off with someone en route and pick them up on the way back. Same if going by train or air. They could meet you half way maybe? Meet you for the last weekend of the holiday?

I wouldn't let it be a casual arrangement though, it would all have to be tied down well in advance. Seventeen is a tricky age. So old and yet so young!

my dd will be 17 and a half when we are planning to go away next may.
its the first time for her but i was 16 when my dad left me with baby twins! she will be at college and ive said she can have friends to stay. i was hesitant at first and she did grumble but at the same time she wants to holiday with friends and if shes mature enough for that she can look after my dog for a week!

I was 13 when I first went on holiday without my parents. It was a riding holiday so it was a bunch of girls and we all slept/ate/mucked in together. I had previously been away with school from the age of 10 so I found it pretty similar, just without the presence of teachers. My parents went away with my brother, who’s 5 years younger than me, at roughly the same time, although there was sometimes overlap so I would stay with my grandparents.
I do remember being on my own In the house for my 16th birthday and I think that was the first time I was allowed to stay home alone

Meant to add that we have taken friends on holiday with us when dd was younger, but I don't like the "policing" aspect of it much now.
Also, we entertain a lot of teens at home so it wouldn't be a break. It's not that DD and her friends are outrageously badly behaved or anything, they are actually quite sensible most of the time, its my problem connected to anxiety and feeling responsible for someone else's teen which would take the edge off the relaxation ifyswim.

We went away for a week when DD was 17. She invited a couple of friends to stop for a week long sleepover. The house was spotless when we got back. Your mileage may vary.

Thanks everyone, will have a think.