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Original poster

What's a reasonable length of time for a shower?

46 replies

UltimateWednesday · 04/07/2020 13:26

And how do you make teens/young adults comply.

DS1 is 19yo, works FT and pays his way at home.

He can spend up to an hour in the shower everyday. I dread to think what it costs, but also, it's destroying the bathroom because it's so wet and never gets time to dry out properly. There are three others using it, for shorter times, daily too.

He'd happily contribute more to the cost, so that's no incentive. I've talked to him many times about it, he agrees and for a day ir to the showers will be shorter but then revert.

I understand a young man is probably doing things in the shower his mother doesn't want to think about and honestly, in every other aspect he's the perfect housemate, so I don't want to be unreasonable but the ceiling was only painted a few months ago and now it's black again.

Has anyone solved this issue successfully?

OP posts:
Qwicky · 04/07/2020 13:30

Get stricter. Tell him if he can't rein it in he's welcome to move out and pay his own water and fuel costs and maintain a constantly sweaty, mouldy bathroom.
I'd be banging on the door too, although you shouldn't have to. He's old enough to regulate his own behaviour.

daisychain1620 · 04/07/2020 13:33

My son is the same and only 13 (although I'm glad he keeps clean). I set him a timer for 5 mins then I bang on the door

JonHammIsMyJamm · 04/07/2020 13:34

That’s nuts, OP. Even if he’s using it to do more than shower, it shouldn’t be taking him an HOUR?! My youngest can take around 20mins in the shower and I thought that was ages!

Other than discussing it with him and pressing the health implications of mould and structural implications of a constantly damp room, I don’t know what you can do. He’s an adult, after all. Other than asking him to move out, of course but I’m assuming you don’t want to do that. I wouldn’t want to.

There’s obviously a ventilation problem in the room. Do you have a window and/or a good extractor? I would suggest you need to look at upgrading the extraction/ventilation in that room if you are getting that level of mould build up.

Billyjoearmstrong · 04/07/2020 13:34

Oh god, I could’ve written this about my almost 18 year old Ds.

He drives us nuts. I’ve never known anyone to spend so long in the shower. We only have one bathroom/loo for the four of us (and I’m 31 weeks pregnant and need to pee a lot) and he has showers at whatever random time of the day he decides to wake up now that his college work has finished.

I’m sick of banging on the door telling him to hurry up.

I’m sick of telling him over and over again that he can’t have a 30 min shower everyday.

FrugiFan · 04/07/2020 13:36

You need to get a (better) extractor fan. Even a long shower shouldnt leave the bathroom wet for the rest of the day!

daisychain1620 · 04/07/2020 13:38

I've never understood long showers, I suppose some people love the heat of it or something but for me I'm in, wash, out.

EasilyDelighted · 04/07/2020 13:38

5 -10 mins max.

WendyHoused · 04/07/2020 13:40

6 minutes is a laidback shower, 3 minutes is a quick one.
Anything beyond 10 and they are taking the piss.

crimsonlake · 04/07/2020 13:41

Same went on with me.
Two sons and one would tak endlessly long showers whilst the other is basically in and out.
I cannot tell you the amount of rows we have had about it, years of banging on the door after 10 minutes. Nothing improved the situation unless I actually started turning on the hot water tap downstairs which would eventually drive him out.
I decided eventually it was not worth the angst and rows.
Both have left home now...university and jobs.
You are lucky in that your son pays his way and is happy to contribute more, but I get you with all the condensation etc. I think there is actually some gadget that you can get from water companies for free which reduces the flow of the water whilst the shower is in use. Good luck.

DramaAlpaca · 04/07/2020 13:42

An hour?! And I thought the 20 minutes my young adult DS spends in there was a long time. Everyone else in the family is in & out in five minutes.

Glendaruel · 04/07/2020 13:44

That's when old fashioned plumbing helps that we used to have. I wonder if plumbers could create a switch, so when you run the hot tap in kitchen shower goes cold, then claim you didn't realise.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 04/07/2020 13:45

Wow, that would drive me nuts too. 5-10 mins max is all that's needed. I've had similar rows with our teens and they're now getting better.

Bluntness100 · 04/07/2020 13:51

An hour? That’s so weird, he must be just sitting there for an hour. Even if he’s having a wank it’s not an hour. He can curtail this if he chooses, he’s choosing not to.

Original poster
UltimateWednesday · 04/07/2020 13:52

Have you actually done that Qwicky? As I said, he has no other faults as a housemate, which I like to think is in lart, been achieved by not making threats I won't follow through. Hpw old are your children and would you really force them to move out over a shower?

OP posts:
Talcott2007 · 04/07/2020 14:21

Sausages are gross!! Pink congealed slime made of arsesholes and eyelids which are not improved by any form of cooking Envy

Talcott2007 · 04/07/2020 14:22

Oops - sorry wrong thread!

imstillfurloughed · 04/07/2020 14:24

Turn the hot water off after 10 minutes!!

coffeewithmilk · 04/07/2020 14:29

I manage to have about a 10 minute shower (longest) but that includes shaving legs/face mask/hair mask etc etc. Generally
I'd have around a 5 minute shower.
I would be honest and upfront and maybe make a big deal of the fact that you have to repaint the ceiling AGAIN because of the damp.
Maybe he just is oblivious to it.

When my husband has a shower, he for some reason (who knows) just browses on his phone and I always have to remind him to hurry up. I think he just likes being in hot water especially on cold mornings

goodwinter · 04/07/2020 14:30

Do you have another bathroom? If so, and it's not an issue of taking up the only available space, I would say get better extraction/ventilation in there if he's happy to cover extra water costs (and ideally the cost of extractor fan or whatever). As in, as long as it's not costing you in terms of money or inconvenience, it's not worth the stress of arguing about it.

(Although obviously it's not good for the environment!)

sausagepastapot · 04/07/2020 14:34

Easy, as pp said- turn off the hot water. Sorted.

overweightcat · 04/07/2020 14:41

Ask him if he's happy to pay to repainted/redo the bathroom.

It's ok paying his way re water but if you're having to either live with the mould or redecorate because of it then he needs to be happy to pay for that too.

We live in a v small house with a tiny bathroom and no window. Had ceiling cleaned and professionally sealed. We have a good extractor fan but we've noticed that if we're not careful with shower lengths/bath lengths then it starts to go black. Also doesn't help the overall walls and tiles in the room.

tara66 · 04/07/2020 14:55

Can he join a club with a spa and pool?

TimeWastingButFun · 04/07/2020 14:59

We usually all take about 15 mins each so that's an hour for the whole family!!! Get the isolator switch moved to outside the door and tell him you're turning it off after 20 mins!!

TimeWastingButFun · 04/07/2020 15:01

Sausages are gross...
OMG hilarious!!! Best wrong thread reply ever!

TwilightPeace · 04/07/2020 15:02

My most recent ex would spend 40 minutes in the shower when we started going out. Ran up my electric and left it a steaming mess. It was a sign to come of how selfish he was....
Anyway, to me 10 minutes should be sufficient.