Funeral

[ColdOopNorth]

My Aunt died last week of COVID19, I was very close to her and I was the only person who visited her in her last few weeks (she died in a home and I was allowed to visit wearing full PPE because the staff knew I was close to her). I found out that she is not having any funeral at all - she is just being taken to the crematorium at some unknown date and this has really really upset me so much. It is nothing to do with the COVID, it is (according to her son who never bothered with her at all) her last wishes. This may be true - I don't know whether to believe it or not as she was quite religious and devout. Maybe I am being totally irrational and unreasonable but I can't stand the thought of not saying goodbye to her - I wondered if anyone else has had this experience? Thanks for any help.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Could you arrange a small memorial service, or go to church by yourself individually and ask them to say a small prayer for her in the service? It won't be quite the same but it is hard to know whether those were her last wishes or not, and at least that way you get to say goodbye to her.

Yes, thanks for the suggestion Sleepismysuperpower1.. I was thinking of something along those lines x

Sorry for your loss. Do you have a photo of her? Put it in a nice frame and light a candle next to it and say goodbye on the day of the cremation?

My mother-in-law was the granddaughter, daughter, sister and wife to clergymen; she chose a direct cremation such as you describe 20 years ago. We had a family get-together/memorial later, which was very fitting - there was pudding and she would have greatly approved!

I think Cold's suggestion is a good one; I'm sorry for your loss.