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Original poster

Would you be upset if a child of yours life home at 17

17 replies

Lardlizard · 03/07/2020 07:56

?

OP posts:
Puckishly · 03/07/2020 08:00

Left home at 17? No, it seems a normal enough age. I left at 18 for university and after that was very much only ever a visitor during vacation, sleeping on the sofa as younger siblings needed my old bedroom, and I haven’t lived in my home country since.

theproblemwitheyes · 03/07/2020 08:01

Would depend why. If they left for uni or similar then no, if they couldn't stand living there any longer and walked out, then yes. And I'd be deeply worried about my parenting skills.

okiedokieme · 03/07/2020 08:02

Depends what you mean by left? For education no, joining the military ok, Moving in with boyfriend would think it was a big mistake!

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 03/07/2020 08:03

Yes I think I would be, if it was to be a permanent situation. However who knows what is around the corner at that age - I don't think I'd see anything as permanent.

Can't possibly see DS moving out in 3.5 years time so I doubt I need to worry 🤣

Treacletoots · 03/07/2020 08:04

Mine kicked me out at 15, 16 and 17, for nothing more than not being 100% complicit in everything she expected, but that says more about her parenting skills than me. When I was able to rent a place at 18 I ran out and never looked back.

But that's my toxic mother, at 17 you're more than capable of looking after yourself, what's bothering you?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/07/2020 08:06

Completely depends on the reason.

shouldisay · 03/07/2020 08:06

No I wouldn't be. My 17yr old currently splits his time between my house and his GF parents house. In fact he is there more than here as it's closer to his work. Once they save a bit they will get their own place.

TartanTuesday · 03/07/2020 08:08

I left home at 17 so I'd be hypocritical if I said I'd be upset!

To be honest I'm at the point now where I can't wait for them to leave! The youngest is 15!

Somethingkindaoooo · 03/07/2020 08:10

Yes, I would.

But, what is the reason?

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 03/07/2020 08:10

As PPs have said, it would depend on the reason, but yes, I would be. It's very young to be living independently, which is a hard thing to do, and which that will have years of, so why the rush?

It's one of the reasons I think university and gap years are a good idea if they're a possibility. Like - stepping stones to independent living, but still with the safety net of the family home to fall back on.

I know it took me years and several aborted attempts before I finally left home for good!

Gnarlytoe · 03/07/2020 08:12

I’m the same as treacletoots, mine kicked me out at 17 because I wasn’t prepared to be treated like a 5 year old.

Well that backfired because I got on with life very well, worked hard and never looked back. My mother missed out on so much but it was her own fault.

My ‘kids’ are now 19 and 17 and happily living at home with us. They are treated like the adults / near adults that they are. They know they are welcome in our home for as long as they need it.

The 19 year old I’d be surprised at if he left but would understand but the 17 year old, I’d be gutted, it’s too young. Even though I did it it was tough and looking back I struggled emotionally over it all.

Grandmi · 03/07/2020 08:12

It depends very much on the reason for leaving.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/07/2020 08:15

Nope. I moved out at 17 into a shared house, I didn't go to university and worked full time.

I would worry that DS would struggle though if he was only in a low paid job as that was what happened to me. I didn't manage to buy a house until this year because I couldn't afford to save and I'm nearly 30.

Titsywoo · 03/07/2020 08:18

I can't see my DD being ready to move out at 17. She is 16 soon and still quite emotionally immature. No SEN or anything. I'd be worried if she did say she was moving out.

notacooldad · 03/07/2020 08:18

DS kind of drifted and moved in with his girlfriend at 17. He stayed a night and then another and it became permanent. To be honest I was glad. He never gave me any trouble at school or with friends but was as grumpy as hell around the house and sometimes we felt like we were walking on eggshells to keep the peace.. However as he got older the grumpiness went and he phones a couple of times a week, he comes to mine at lunch time if he is working local, and we go out socialising with him, his girlfriend and parents so it has worked out well.

Redcrow · 03/07/2020 08:19

Depends on the reason. I'm hoping my girls will go to uni but I also want them both to know there will always be a bed for them with me

OllyBJolly · 03/07/2020 08:27

Both mine did, although came back for spells. Fine.

I'd be more worried if they were still at home late 20s or 30s.

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