i was happy to have only one child but just found out i’m pregnant

[caraway33]

For various reasons, couple of years ago decided it’s the best for our family to be just 3 of us. It was a logical decision, otherwise have always felt slightly broody. Also, my pregnancy and birth was easy and enjoyable and it felt like experience i would like to have again- but that’s not a reason to have another child, right?
Having a child made me realize i’m an introvert and I love having one on one relationship with my child, it’s fun and relaxed. Also after years of not having a job I enjoy or not having one at all, over the last two years developed my business and it literally just over couple of weeks ago started getting of the ground. It’s food related and i’m personally making all the physical work- some of it is at home, but the main is being present at the shop.
I’m terrified how much time off might need- the main business part happens between June-October and my due date would be around mid March.

Please share positive experiences of having a second child after being settled for one!

Well, have you considered termination, or is that off the cards?

I’m sure there will be lots of successful stories about having another child when you’re settled for one.
But be aware that falling pregnant is not a reason to have a child, if you don’t want one. There is still a massive taboo about mother’s having terminations of subsequent pregnancies and this shouldn’t be so.
Having a baby is always a lottery; it could be great, it could not be great. You could be carrying twins. The baby may not be so easy as your first child, etc etc.

i don’t feel termination is an option. i’m just in a but of shock and want to help myself to warm up to an idea of the second. Would be interested to hear someone who were in a similar situation and how it panned out.

I'm not sure what you're looking for here but I have two children and a career, was very sick in my pregnancy which impacted on my job as i was signed off with hyperemesis for a lot of the time, then had 10 months of maternity leave. The first year was hard when I had a toddler and a baby but got much easier. Baby was planned, I love having two children. DC2 makes our family feel complete. But it is MUCH busier, no time for peace just now but that will come again.

Sorry just read you're self employed, I am an employee so my job chat isnt really relevant.

You say enjoying pregnancy isn't a reason to have another child - you're right. I personally don't believe falling accidentally pregnant is a reason to have a child either. You decided you only wanted one, for good reasons. I couldn't continue a pregnancy I didn't want so I would seek an abortion.

Of course there will be stories of people who have had two children and are fine and happy with that - literally millions of people do this. As for people who had two despite only wanting one I'm sure there are those mothers too and I hope they reassure you.

If you've decided to have this baby does it matter if someone comes on and says they'd rather not have had the second one?

You need to make your own choice OP and accept you have no way of predicting how you might feel in six months or three years or 10 years.

Op you need to have a good think about your options.
There’s nothing wrong with a termination if you really don’t want another child.

You will love them and you will manage