What drives someone into jealousy?

[YellowBlueDaisy]

My aunt came to visit last weekend. She came unannounced but it was nice to see her all the same. The second she was gone by mother started ranting and raving about her and my mother made no sense in her ranting 'flaunting her size 8 jeans and body, so she was' was something my mother said.

My aunt was not flaunting her body or her jeans. Shes 68 and she looked fantastic I must admit but she definitely wasn't flaunting about. I just get the sense that it's coming from a deeper place from my mother and a place of jealousy.

I have other experience of others and jealousy too and them people are best avoided.

Insecurity.

I’m a very jealous person myself, I try not to be but I can’t help it. I feel worthless a lot of the time.

There are a number of factors. Are they sisters or is your Aunt on your Dad s side. If they're sisters it could stem from childhood.
Is your mum naturally insecure. No one likes to be around some one who they deem to be better looking or have a better figure. The snow white scene mirror mirror on the wall isn't so far fetched. Everyone wants to be the bell of the ball, I do. I make no secret of it.
Some one having the on e thing you want

Being jealous is horrible, I get jealous about a certain person, I hate that I feel that way but I just do!! It’s horrible and usually makes me feel worse as the person I’m jealous off I start to be mean about....when they are actually a nice person so it’s just all bad, bad, bad!! I wish I could flick a switch and not be though!

It’s insecurity.

And not being happy with who you are inside. When you feel happy with you, you project that onto other people. If you feel ugly, you project that to make yourself feel better.

It’s a true show of character when a person can clap for someone else’s beauty without being threatened.

Insecurity. It seems to me, from reading so much on here, that women envy other women who are thinner than them. Weight seems to be a massive source of insecurity.

I don't get it. My aunty looked fantastic. I also know what flaunting means and she was not flaunting, that is 100% for sure. She came for a visit. That's it. My mother looked too much into it.

I think it's because they got something or someone that they feel more deservant of.
It's a sense of injustice to missing out on an entitlement and fear of their own value and position against this person who may not even appreciate or be aware of what they have.
I would not jump to conclusions though because there may well be a very long history that you dont know of.

Its always because they feel insecure

Isn't this envy rather than jealousy? I never got my head around the two until I watched Se7en

@YellowBlueDaisy

I think some people get driven to jealousy when they see other people having fun lives ... you know they go out and have fun now that the government guidelines let them.

Now the jealous ones over 15 stone get all annoyed and because they have to sit at home doing the laundry they get angry and post that people that have fun are entitled.... I think being driven to jealousy makes people do things like that - don't you OP?

I'm watching with interest on this.

I have someone who comes across as very jealous and angry of me. Any success I have, or happiness, she seemingly wants to destroy, or do one better.

I do not understand it. Shes actually my exH OW, they've got the house, kid, life she wanted with him and they've been together for years, still she has this infatuation with me and my life and I have no idea why, she seems to see me as one big competition, despite being with H for a good few years now.

I cant see how its insecurities, when she's got exactly what she wants?

From what I've heard she can be like it with others too. Ive actually even googled it to make sense of what goes on with her mental state, but nothing seems to fit.

@ResumetonormalASAP why would being over 15 stone mean the person doesn’t have a fun life. That’s really rude and insulting!

Naughty @ResumetonormalASAP ....

[quote ResumetonormalASAP]@YellowBlueDaisy

I think some people get driven to jealousy when they see other people having fun lives ... you know they go out and have fun now that the government guidelines let them.

Now the jealous ones over 15 stone get all annoyed and because they have to sit at home doing the laundry they get angry and post that people that have fun are entitled.... I think being driven to jealousy makes people do things like that - don't you OP?[/quote]
That sounds just like me

I've tried hard to work on jealousy but it is insecurity and the feeling they life isn't fair

I look at my lot in life and wonder where it went so wrong

I agree with this being insecurity. No matter how much they may love or like somebody, if they have something they want, that they feel they can’t obtain, jealousy happens. Jealousy can manifest sometimes in really nasty ways.

I’ve just lost my best friend recently because of her insecurities how she lashed out in the most unexpected ways. It has broken my heart.

Your mum is jealous, she wants to look like her but would never admit it, so to make herself feel better she insults your aunt. By saying it aloud will almost convince her that how great your aunt looks is a negative thing.
You can’t change your DMs behaviour.

Yes, insecurity. They can’t bear for somebody to have something that they don’t. I see it all the time, from the receiving end. It’s really destructive. The bile just bursts out of them.

Insecurity often. If it’s about someone specific rather than generally jealous I would imagine there’s a underlying reason such as for your mum feeling her sister was preferred growing up or being compared to her sister.

@PatriciaHolm....

I wondered if anyone would get what I meant with this 😉😉 ....

Well spotted

I’m prone to jealousy it’s usually never to do with someone’s size or their success (because these are things that you can personally work on) but usually because of how someone treated by others. Especially in situations where I think people must be wearing super rose tinted glasses.

For example, I have a family member who recently purchased a house. They could only do this because they started a relationship with someone who had hefty savings and it’s been a whirlwind relationship. You’d be forgiven for thinking she’d been the one who actually had the savings from the way our family talk; and I was green-eyed over how ‘amazing’ they are for getting a house, the location of it, talk of their combined wage (100k) and their struggle to find a property, how wonderful the partner is...and, and, and.

Obviously I wish we had a house but it’s not happened yet lack of 60K+ savings

I also want all our children to be treated the same, but it hasn’t happened in 10 years so I doubt it’ll happen now but I still hope and I am jealous of what support is given when someone and theirs are favoured.