School pod misery

[Blimeyoreilly2020]

I know there’s nothing I can do about this but I’d be really grateful for a bit of a handhold...So dd11 has been placed in a pod with 5 other girls that she generally gets on with ..but the thing is these 5 girls have known each other and been at school together far longer than dd and their parents are all great mates (I think a couple of them actually grew up together too). Their parents have organised all sorts of after school activities for the other 5 and of course dd is not invited. She spends every day listening to the other girls chatter excitedly about what’s been planned for them next...I’m just feeling so awful for her and there’s nothing I can do about it😞...I just find it so disappointing that these parents haven’t even stopped to consider how this would affect the only girl left out. I’m trying to organise other stuff with dd but it doesn’t really compare - I feel so powerless and of course I am, they are free to invite whoever they like and given she’s been obviously purposefully excluded it’d look bizarre if I tried to sort something else with them. Like any parent all I want is for my child to feel accepted and happy - end of junior school was meant to be fun😞

I'm sorry to hear that, that sounds really hard for your DD and of course it must be very hard for you to see her being excluded like this. It is a shame the school didn't take a bit more care over arranging the pods.

Sadly I think you a right that there isn't much you can do - you can't force her into the group at this late stage, especially as the other parents don't sound particularly thoughtful. I think all you can do is focus on fun things outside of school (which you are doing) and try to arrange for her to spend some time with her other friends. It must seem like a long time for her, but it really isn't long now until the end of term and hopefully once these difficult few weeks are over she will be able to look back fondly on her happy experiences in the school. Would you be able to arrange some sort of end of year celebration for her closest friends, as something to look forward to? A campout on the garden, or a big picnic?

That's rubbish for your daughter and completely thoughtless on the part of the other parents. I couldn't imagine excluding one child in this way when they have been grouped together.

Oh thank you both for replying - it’s at the very least heartening to know that there are other parents who would have way more emotional intelligence than to behave like this💐 . Dd & I have been chatting about how close it is to being over, how resilient and great & grown up she’s being at not showing them how desperate she feels (one of them does rather seem to be getting a kick out of it🤬)...she’s now got “wow, that sounds lovely, I’d love to do that sometime, have a great afternoon” without a hint of bitterness pretty much down pat...Her cousins are coming to camp out with us to celebrate the end of term when it comes...kids learn from their parents though and I’m just so shocked at how utterly thoughtless this lot have been - one of them’s a flipping counsellor..I’m totally 🤷🏼‍♀️ as to how she can have so little empathy! Thank you again both.

I would at least message the other parents. You can’t predict or change anything, necessarily. People can be thoughtless rather than mean.

Could you ask the nicest girl of the five for a play?