I've just been mansplained

[ItsNotAGameOfSubbuteoMatthew]

I'm a female senior manager in my organisation with 20+ years of experience.

A dozen of us have been asked to feedback on another organisation's involvement with us. I have given my opinion which is they were good but not great as they didn't do xyz which I'm currently looking into doing and hoped their input could further that.

I've been mansplained (to be fair just to me not reply all) about why I'm 'kinda' right but because of his 'considerable' experience I should just be grateful for what we did get. And even takes the trouble to mis quote Einstein to me. I'm not looking forward to the debrief next week and potentially be mansplained to on a virtual basis.

Inspire me with how you managed to get one over on a mansplainer please!

Well, I think you need to correct his misquote for a start, and point out that he isn’t Einstein himself, perhaps....

I confess I'm tempted by your Einstein line!

I wouldn't be surprised if his "considerable" experience is less than yours. And no, you shouldn't "just be grateful for what we did get".

I have given my opinion which is they were good but not great as they didn't do xyz which I'm currently looking into doing and hoped their input could further that.

Maybe, for the debrief, you could spell out why they were good but not great. Constructive criticism and all that. If he starts mansplaining, you'll probably need to shut him down.

What did the others think of his 'be grateful and think of Einstein' response? You have to give him 8/10 for entertainment value now.

If you were meant to be grateful for what you got, what was the point in asking for feedback?

Ugh I hate stuff like this. Was the mansplainer someone from your own organisation, or the organisation you fed back on?

Reply with this flowchart

Or this

That second flowchart definitely applies!

I was quite specific in my feedback as I'm actually looking into the area I think they were weak on and I was quite disappointed that I didn't learn anything from them (and gave examples of where they could have gone further). But I can see how 'good but not great' is a bit non constructive if that was my feedback.

To be fair to him he didn't reply all but I'll wait to see how he brings up my feedback in the debrief.

From my own organisation but a completely different part. I've just checked him out and he'll be away for the debrief. Bonus!

I'm unfamiliar with mansplaining, what is it?

@daisychain1620

I'm unfamiliar with mansplaining, what is it?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mansplaining

In essence it's 'explaining without regard to the fact that the explainee knows more than the explainer, often done by a man to a woman'

@daisychain1620

I'm unfamiliar with mansplaining, what is it?

People who basically explain something to you as if you know nothing and they are the biggest expert in the world. When really, you are the expert/senior person/the one who knows what they are doing, and they aren't.

Nearly always by a man to a woman, because misogyny. After all, we women can't possibly understand it all.

Best example I've come across is someone explaining (badly) a book to the actual author of said book.

😂 oh yes maybe I am familiar with it!

Have you also fallen victim to it daisy?

Those flowcharts are brilliant!

I'm the sort of person who is all or nothing about things I'm interested in, so my tactic with mansplainers is to interrupt them and bore them to tears with minor details about whatever we're discussing, which no-one but an obsessive geek like me would know or care about. They soon glaze over and go away.

Many quotes are falsely attributed to Einstein.

interestingengineering.com/13-inspiring-einstein-quotes-never-actually-said-by-einstein

I will always remember the gynaecologist talking about vulvas and a man turned round and said it’s actually a vagina...

He tried to back track and say well, that’s what it is more commonly known as and what more people know it as but refused to back down

I wish I knew how to shut them down - it happens to me a lot I have years of experience and a post grad qualification in my field, but sometimes even my DP forgets and mansplains to me, although he shuts up quickly when he gets the Death Stare. The Death Stare does not seem to work on car repair personnel, car salesman, window salesmen or solar panel salesmen I've noticed, never mind my work colleagues. I need to print out that flow chart and carry it around with me!

I think this is my favourite example;
''Twitter User Mansplains Physics To A Female Astronaut''
www.good.is/articles/dude-manspains-in-space

It's the most annoying thing in the workplace.

I guess the mansplaining issue is annoying but not that productive to your/the other Organization.

Probably focus on how you get answers to what you are weak on. Was it not clear in the specification of the job that this was a requirement? Perhaps no single groups have all the knowledge - so maybe in future you need to consider multiple people to consult to fulfil all requirements.

From the other side - if the group agreed that they could fulfil all requirements, but didn’t, then in future they should be up-front about which ones they cannot fulfil properly. They should either hire someone to specifically give you advice on the area or tell you so that you know that you have to - ie don’t make promises you can’t fulfil.

an academic told me a prospective student corrected her, the lecturer's, pronunciation of her own name.

is it related to the dunning-kruger effect, i wonder.
met a few of those too.

Namenic, ???? !!!!

I wonder if Namenic is a man?

No - I’m not. I’ve been mansplained to before. I just kinda think that it might not be helpful to focus on the mansplaining?

I guess I can’t really see how telling them they are mansplaining is going to help in the future because it sounds like they think they did OP a favour. Which may or may not be true depending on if the work was paid for and how hard it is for 1 person to get all the requirements done?