What age did you start allowing you dc help themselves to food?

[Oly4]

My kids are 9&6 and healthy eaters but if I let them they would snack all day on chocolate or crisps. I tend to limit those.
But I don’t want to create food issues or good/bad food ideas.
At what age did you start letting your kids help themselves to snacks (outside the fruit bowl?) between meals. Or do they still ask as tweens/teens? Thanks

Mine have always helped themselves and I just limit what I buy
Once it’s gone it’s gone.

You could do snack boxes so they get a box of treats for the week and can eat them anytime. They can then look to control their own snacks.

Either that or pocket money for treats

Same as pp. From dot.
Fruit basket is free range. Whatever they can reach really. But if we have cake or biscuits they know to ask first.
We rarely have crisps in.

9&8. Occasionally will help themselves to a packet of crisps, but mostly still ask....probably because it’s all quite high up. The 8 yr old couldnt actually reach it.

Mine (4 and 6) help themselves to fruit and the cupboard with bread, rice cakes and cheese straws in. They both have a treat box (filled with chocolate and sweets from parties etc). I dot let them have free range to that and they have to ask because I have put it up high. Having said that my 6 year old would not eat it even if it were in reach without asking and doesn’t like eating too much in one go anyway.

When mine were young they could have fruit if they wanted and I had a biscuit tin with plain biscuits in that they were allowed to help themselves from. Anything else they knew was for mealtimes or special treats as we lived on a very tight budget and they understood from a young age that it would be depriving siblings if they just helped themselves.
As they grew into 3 hungry teenage boys , bread and cereal were available in the evening without asking, as was helping themselves to drinks of milk.
This was in the early/mid 80’s so
My ideas might be old fashioned!
However, my sons and step daughters do similar with their children
I also remember having big jugs of diluted squash in the fridge for them to help themselves to from an early age so as to not have the continual “ can I have a drink mum?”
Although youngest did have a severe food aversion between the ages of 2 and 19, they all now seem to have well balanced eating habits with no issues.
Hope you work things out for the best.
I don’t recall any of my friends in the 80’s letting their young children having total free rein to help themselves.

I put cheesestrings, yogurts and pepperoni type snacks in the bottom drawer of the fridge which they have pretty much free reign of. I like to ask for courtesy but I only say no if lunch/dinner is almost ready or it’s close to bedtime. Sweet stuff is more limited to after meals. I hand that out as opposed to them helping themselves.

Mine were free to take anything from the refrigerator or on the table (bowl of fruit), from when they could walk. Treats were up high in a cupboard.

One evening my husband was at work and called to check in. Our phone is on the kitchen wall. I had my back turned to the table. In less than 90 seconds, my not yet 2 year old son had taken the chair to the "treat" cupboard, and I hadn't heard him move the chair. I heard a crash to see the treat basket on the floor, the chair tipped over, and my son dangling for dear life from the cupboard. After that, treats were moved to the very back of the cupboard. At nine, even that would not have deterred him, but by then, they understood they needed to eat healthy foods as well.

Fruit from when very small. Anything else they were meals. No snacks in the house when they were small.

Mine ask about everything because they have no concept of time, and even an apple ten minutes before dinner is going to spoil it for them.

In principle I don’t mind them helping themselves to most things as they are quite good self-regulators.

Sorry mine makes no sense in response to your question - I guess at 11 and 8 they still ask but I wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t.

Mine are quite young but ask for everything. DC1 (Year 2) has just started to help herself to fruit when she wants it but I often ask her to wait if I'm preparing lunch or dinner. Interesting question because I find when they are home all day, they would snack continuously unless I controlled it.

Mine are 9 and 7. They have created their own routine with snacking during lockdown. I work 4 mornings a week from home, DH also WFH mon- fri. They get a snack mid morning they know they’re only allowed one so maybe yoghurt raisins or a yo-yo.

Then they will get another mid afternoon but by that time I’ve finished work.
Had a few moments with 9yo helping himself to weird things (dry pasta!) at odd times like after dinner so had to stop that. Also had to stop him taking something half hour before dinner a couple of times but he generally knows now what he can have and when he can have it.

I remember DS1 shifting chairs and climbing the work tops when he was 2 in order to raid things like raisins. (On one occasion shortly after a raid he came up to me and said "walk" it was a nice day so we put on our shoes and put baby in the pram and walked. We got to a pleasant grassy patch and he said "sit" so we sat, and he pulls a box of raisins for each of us from out of his pockets )

There is a cupboard that they can help themselves from. They're hungry beasts and still eat well at mealtimes and have hips like a racing snake.

9 & 7 now

Should have added I did use to say when they were pre mid teens “ don’t eat anything now as it’s nearly tea/ dinner time”.

Mine always asked. It wasn't a big deal at all. Just something they automatically did.
But ours wasn't a house filled with packets of crisps or wrapped chocolate biscuits etc, so the answer was almost always yes. Asking was just a politeness.

My youngest is 9, eldest 13. For the past year we have done individual treat boxes, they get the treats for the week and it's upto them to eat as they wish. Most weeks they aren't empty when it's time to top them up.

The novelty of them getting to eat all their treats in one go wore off fast.

Mine generally ask too. Age 9 and almost 11. Not in the sense of seeking permission as such, more just checking we’re not about to start cooking dinner or that something they’ve put their eye on isn’t intended for lunch tomorrow. I say ask but it’s usually along the lines of suggesting eg “do we have any X” or “I think I might have Y“, knowing the response might be to wait until after dinner.

Regarding crisps and chocolate etc we don’t really buy loads and they’re in the habit now of not expecting these daily so it’s not really an issue.

Mine still ask, age 12 and 14 because they've never got out of the habit. They've never said they think they should be allowed to help themselves, so I've never mentioned it either tbh. Dd in particular is slim but has a very sweet tooth. I think that telling her she can take biscuits whenever she likes wouldn't be a great plan.

Mine are 8 and 6 and can help themselves to fruit and water. Anything else they have to ask for. But I'm pretty strict generally.

7 yo has to ask for a treat, otherwise he'd eat the whole lot

Thanks all, love the idea of treat boxes and then free fruit bowl/yoghurts etc

Mine are 14, 12, 10 and 7. They always ask for any snack except when they are grabbing a handful of cereal. It's never been a issue. We are not a snacking family anyway.

My 7 year old helps himself but I keep an eye on what he is eating and if it's too much junk I tell him to put it back.

My teenage boys eat continuously so I have actually put a lock on one of the cupboards with all the unhealthy stuff in 😂 They can snack on fruit, cereal and bits from the fridge but the condition is they always eat their meals. At the moment they eat 3 meals a day plus about 4 extra bowls of cereal, crisps and fruit! They are very slim but getting taller every day 😀
They also buy junk food with their own money and I can’t control that as much. They often have sweets in their rooms (I know this as I find the wrappers!)