please mumsnet, I feel like i am loosing the plot.
I'm 33, my partner has worked out my cycles go like this.
Week 1 : period. Lazy and stuffing my face
Week 2/3 : very loving, wanting to be intimate, fun
Week 3/4: start to get tired, tetchy, short..
Week 4.5: absolute nightmare
My periods have recently gone from normal 4 weeks (28 days) up to 41 days, today I am supposed to have started my period (day 41) but as of yet, no show.
We have been going through a terribly stressful time for a couple of years. Today something was supposed to happen financially and it didn't, this has led to me having a huge mental break down - ugly crying, wanting to scream and punch things..
I keep holding back my feeling until the bubble up to the surface and I just want to get it all out.
DP very defensive and just not the best at emotional communication (ie. "X Y Z isn't MY fault" - even though I havent said it is) -
Usually I can handle stress and handle his insensitivity (ex army) but week 4/4.5 every emotion bubbles up. In the last hour I have stored outside, kicked over the lawnmower when I couldnt get it going, run up stairs, cried for a few minutes, pulled myself together, he came upstairs said a few more annoyingly insensitive things, enraged me again, so I've yelled and cried straight after again.
Thing is, i can almost feel the hormones bubbling upside me and coming out uncontrollably, its absolutely horrible, and my DP isn't the kind of man to "forget" ie: I might feel better later but ill get a few days of "You didnt like me then" "When you ran off crying" etc.
I cant blame him really, I would be equally as baffled if I was the other person.
Ive got hospital appointments in the next few weeks for scans and bloods as I've been having pains low down where my reproductive system would be. In the past I've had alot of operations and I have no fallopian tubes. Im almost hoping they find something because the way I feel/I am acting is sending me loopy for 1 1/2 weeks a month.
I guess I wrote some of this to get it off my chest.
...but can anyone relate?
...any advice?
...i have no-one to talk to and nobody who might understand this IRL.