Do you have friends?

[Autumnwalksx]

I have realized in lockdown I don't particularly have any. I've got one friend who I met up with weekly with our kids. We also do all the school runs together. Her son's gone back to school and my child hasn't. So I feel she won't want to walk with me and my kids randomly.

At the school I had swapped numbers and had playground chat with two mums. We've never met up and lockdown hasn't helped. One of them has moved three hours away in lockdown so I won't see her again.

The other school mums that have added me on facebook(two of them) are actually being polite because they have connected with my friend from the first paragraph. They don't speak to me really, it's mainly if my friends stood there too.

I did have another friend but in all honesty we grew apart. I think becoming mums really divided us. Our kids also didn't click which is another story.

I love chatting. But I feel really limited while the kids are little. I hope I get to meet people through my youngest starting school and stuff eventually.

I have never stayed close to people. My school friends either moved away. We lost touch.

I had a friend who had an abusive partner who stopped her seeing all her friends 2 years ago.

The friends I had when I worked mostly don't have kids and still have loads of nights out. We've also lost touch.

I've got one friend who I met up with weekly with our kids. We also do all the school runs together. Her son's gone back to school and my child hasn't. So I feel she won't want to walk with me and my kids randomly.

Ring her and ask her.

Friends are often down to luck, meeting someone you click with and then someone else you click with too.

Ime people respond best to easy going low maintenance people who are easy to talk to

But it would be dull if everyone was like that. Nice to have some spiky friends who offer an opinion and spice things up.

Yeah. I do have one flaw. I don't like routines weekly meet ups. Like every Tuesday I don't want to commit to playgroup or a set location. I like relaxed people who are flexible and not in your face. That's why I felt smoothered by the friend I grew apart from when we had our kids. I found she expected me to be available on her day off. She used to sulk if I had to rearrange. I noticed she would slag all her other friends of to me too. Then I realised I had given her tons of clothes and stuff for her kids. She never even offered My kids a snack when we went to hers but I fed her kids. I realised I just wasn't enjoying the friendship.

I guess it is hard to meet people who are flexible.

I'm meeting my friend and her son Saturday. So my daughter can see her friend too. Looking forward to it.

I've got lots of friends and have kept friendships going from an 8yo (boy I say next to at new school) through living in different countries, and moving to a new town where I knew no one a few years ago.

I am one of the people who often get moaned about on MN as I can be flakey with keeping in touch or calling "just for a chat". Flip side is I have many lovely long lasting friendships that survive even long distances. So clearly I am doing something right.

I'm not overly chatty or particularly likeable. But if I do connect with someone I tend to make an effort to follow up or see them again. I'm an inviter - I've always invited people to participate in something - most of my friendships have developed from there.

I've got 3 old friends who I don't see often but keep in touch with and can talk about anything with. I've got newer friends and acquaintances I've met through my circumstances that I see more regularly but we're not close. But I don't have a lot of time to be meeting up with people unless it means I bring the kids and that has limited my friendships.

A few (3/4) real friends (nearly 30 years), some lovely colleagues I'm happy to see out of work occasionally and a handful of drinking buddy school mums. Only the first ones would I share really personal stuff or could turn up on their doorstep unannounced and only 1 of them lives locally

No I don’t have friends

I have some lovely friends who I never see or call or engage with in any way - we are all over the world but they are long term friends.

Mainly, I have colleagues. I adore my work mates (well, some of them) and genuinely dread moving/being made redundant because they keep me sane with inane banter and crap chat every day. It’s a life line of company and engagement without any pressure beyond being a good team mate and looking out for each other in that context.

No, just my sister and to be honest that's good enough for me.

I relate to many posters on here. I was also bullied badly in secondary school by a ‘friend’ who emotionally abused and then then turned on me, so now I struggle massively with friendships and how to act within them. I also go through phases of friends - for example, I had friends at uni, but once I’d left, we never spoke or met up. I do have one fabulous friend from my very early childhood, and I love her to pieces, however her social life is flourishing and I sometimes feel like a burden (but she’s one of those that I don’t believe i’ll ever lose contact with iyswim)

This has recently come to a head as DP is having a mate over this saturday, and then heading to the pub with him, and it dawned on me that I have nobody to do that with (my one friend is hours away) and I’ll be spending my Saturday evening alone. Sometimes, it’s crushingly sad, but other times I plod on. Dp’s friends most certainly aren’t mine either - I have a severe personality disorder that they don’t seem to understand, so no friendships have been formed there either.

I don't but it's fine, I don't want any as there isn't space in my life for them.

I have a few friends - one I can really confide in and we always message each other daily, a few I regularly meet up for a walk/coffee and a couple I see probably every other month for lunch. I'm quite happy with my lot, I'm not sure I could cope with many more friends as I'm naturally quite introverted so happy with my own space