I'm feeling really shit right now. I was just about to have a rant on FB, on friends who keep on posting stupid memes about how 'pain makes you stronger' things, as right now, I want to punch them...they have no idea.
I posted about my dad last week. He had renal cell carcinoma and had a kidney removed. He also has stage 4 CKD, COPD, and type 2 Diabetes. He also had a mini-stroke a couple of years ago. He's 75.
It was found that despite a good couple of years, the cancer has now spread to his aorta, and his oncologist fears to his brain, and maybe his bowel.
So I'm worried about him.
My 44 year old brother went into hospital over a year ago, and never came out. To start with they thought he'd had a stroke, then that it was a virus, then that it was a mental disorder, then brain damage, now they think it may have been a stoke!
He's almost completely paralysed. He cannot talk properly, cannot see properly (his eyes don't move together even), cannot wee without a catheter. I cannot imagine the hell it is for him. Apparently it's the part of the brain that controls movement, so his intellect is intact, which is unimaginable.
Since lockdown no one has been able to see him.
He's been ill the last week, probably a urine infection, but the doctors called my parents saying that they're concerned his muscles that control swallowing have now failed. They've also said we should go and see him.
I feel lost. I don't drive, and have a young child. My dad has appointments this week, but we're going to try to go.
I've outed myself as anyone on FB will know me (and probably be offended by my disdain of their memes, but I just don't feel it at the moment).