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Hospital told my parents to see my brother

10 replies

TravellingInTheTardis · 29/06/2020 23:08

I'm feeling really shit right now. I was just about to have a rant on FB, on friends who keep on posting stupid memes about how 'pain makes you stronger' things, as right now, I want to punch them...they have no idea.

I posted about my dad last week. He had renal cell carcinoma and had a kidney removed. He also has stage 4 CKD, COPD, and type 2 Diabetes. He also had a mini-stroke a couple of years ago. He's 75.

It was found that despite a good couple of years, the cancer has now spread to his aorta, and his oncologist fears to his brain, and maybe his bowel.

So I'm worried about him.

My 44 year old brother went into hospital over a year ago, and never came out. To start with they thought he'd had a stroke, then that it was a virus, then that it was a mental disorder, then brain damage, now they think it may have been a stoke!

He's almost completely paralysed. He cannot talk properly, cannot see properly (his eyes don't move together even), cannot wee without a catheter. I cannot imagine the hell it is for him. Apparently it's the part of the brain that controls movement, so his intellect is intact, which is unimaginable.

Since lockdown no one has been able to see him.

He's been ill the last week, probably a urine infection, but the doctors called my parents saying that they're concerned his muscles that control swallowing have now failed. They've also said we should go and see him.

I feel lost. I don't drive, and have a young child. My dad has appointments this week, but we're going to try to go.

I've outed myself as anyone on FB will know me (and probably be offended by my disdain of their memes, but I just don't feel it at the moment).

OP posts:
Iggii · 29/06/2020 23:13

Are you worried about the practicalities or getting there? Or safety in the hospital? Or just generally feeling shit about what an unfair hand your family has been dealt lately, which I would quite understand? It's sounds really hard Sad

Mollymalone123 · 29/06/2020 23:18

So sorry 💐 what a terrible time for all of you- sorry I don’t know the right thing to say apart from I wish you all the best and hope you see your brother very soon.I think the world would be better without FB too!

RB68 · 29/06/2020 23:40

fb - just come off - its not the ight time for any of that. GO and see your brother whatever the cost, once that muscle for swallow goes it is virtually nil by mouth as with no muscle control you cant swallow and liquid and food too easily gets on the lung. This is end stage which is why they are saying come in. So Sorry OP, my thoughts are with you and your family

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Crosswithlifeatm · 29/06/2020 23:44

See him if you can.This may be the last time and will matter to him and you.
Forget what others think,block all social media for now and do what is important for you and your family.

mumoftwodc · 29/06/2020 23:49

Thinking of you and hope you get the opportunity to see your brother. Do what you think is best to ensure you have no regrets Thanks

eaglejulesk · 29/06/2020 23:50

So sorry you are having such a shit time OP. Flowers I would stay off social media for a while, try to go and see your brother and just concentrate on family and close friends for now. Best wishes.

Jeremyironsnothing · 29/06/2020 23:52

The important thing is to see your brother. Ignore everything else. Focus on him.

DamnYankee · 29/06/2020 23:57

OP,
friends who keep on posting stupid memes about how 'pain makes you stronger' things, as right now, I want to punch them...they have no idea

No, they don't. Tune the "God has a plan" people, too. They mean well, but they are really just trying to make themselves feel better. People like pat sayings and explanations for everything.

This sucks. No two ways about it. Make plans to see your brother. If your father can be included safely, do what you can to facilitate that.

So very sorry. Flowers

DamnYankee · 29/06/2020 23:58

*Tune the "plan" people out.

ClockyClock · 30/06/2020 07:56

Flowers You and your family are having an exceptionally tough time. It sounds awful.
Hope things improve or resolve for you soon. Thinking of you x

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