When you buy a house and move in, what’s the general protocol for neighbours?

[Smyths]

Do you go over and say hello? Do you take a gift to them? If so, what kind of thing? Or pop a card through the letterbox? Or do nothing?

This is assuming the neighbour living there already has not made any effort to welcome someone new into the neighbourhood

I'm in the SouthEast and speak to my neighbours, and their neighbours, and people down the road. I moved to the town I'm in 6 years ago.
Before that I knew the people who lived in my maisonette, and my immediate neighbours - was there 18 years.

I took a bottle of fizz and disposable wine glasses round last time people moved into our street. They seemed appreciative at the time and 7 years later we're still friendly.
Sounds like some folk would find me very odd though...

Mostly people come and go in our little close without fanfare, but I thought I’d mention this as it’s a bit different.

We’re a fairly new development that has car parking and garages at the back. Two big houses are one side and the rest in a terrace the other side. The two large houses are actually on the main road but are part of our road and share the parking garage area. I don’t know if that makes sense!

Before one of the big houses sold, so all had a photocopied hand written letter through the door introducing themselves. A bit like

‘We’re Bob and Angela, and we’re going to be moving in with our daughter Mary who’s 17.

We move on the 11th March, and the lorry will be blocking the communal parking area from 10am. I’m sorry for any inconvenience this might cause.

Look forward to meeting you all’

I thought this was really good as it gave everyone the chance to move their cars.

Apart from that I haven’t really experienced any gifts or cards.

It’s quite likely you’ll naturally meet a neighbour or two on moving day as you’ll be in and out of the house a lot. Quick hello and introduction is all you need.

I’m terrible at remembering names, last move was conveniently close to Christmas so I could drops cards round just signed with our names and house number and lo and behold cards popped back through our letterbox from with neighbour’s names and house numbers too. Immediately put on the Christmas card spreadsheet to avoid any awkward forgetting/misspelling of names.

This gives me such anxiety knowing correct protocol here. I’m not that person who can just knock a door and say oh hello I’m New Neighbour, lovely to meet you etc.

First impressions and early relationships with a neighbour are so important I think just because it’s often a long term if not close relationship.

We moved from outside the area to a small lane with seven other houses nearly 3 years ago. A close knit little community with everyone else having lived here 30-40 years.

We were welcomed with cards or popping around from all and one brought a homemade cake. It was a lovely gesture and no way did it go in the bin.

We know some of our neighbours better than others but on the whole they are all nice, kind, considerate people that I’m very glad we’ve got to know. It’s a small road in a tiny village but a very strong sense of community. Maybe some people might feel it’s too intrusive but it made us feel welcome initially and helped us feel settled.

At some point if we have new neighbours we will welcome them warmly and hopefully it won’t be considered intrusive and offend! We’re in Suffolk and it’s quite normal to be on friendly terms. We live rurally and in our previous house had neighbours who liked to know everyone’s business, but we’re very lucky where we are now, it’s a nice balance of genuine friendliness with also respecting privacy.

Our neighbours brought flowers, a cake, some eggs and chocolate, all were received (and consumed) with gratitude. We loved it that they took the time to come and introduce themselves. Only on MN would anyone find it ‘intrusive’

We get on well with all our neighbours (there are only 4 houses). We have to share a septic tank so it’s important we all get along well

I wouldn't do anything. I'm not remotely interested in making friends with people simply because I live near them though.

@gotothecooler

I wouldn't do anything. I'm not remotely interested in making friends with people simply because I live near them though.

I feel the same way. Fortunately, there are only three homes on our street and we have two acres and a little stream between us.

We have a WhatsApp for the street so someone posted a welcome with the contact details of the creator if they wanted to join. They did so I got to know them like that.

We've generally waited until the first time we crossed paths & then introduced ourselves

That’s what people do here. Sometimes it’s just a wave and a smile, sometimes proper introductions. We all take in each other parcels when neighbours are out but we’re all busy and nobody gets too involved which I like. We’re not friends, they’re just people who happen to live near us. I would think it was strange to send cards, food etc. One neighbour did try to be over friendly with us years ago but it was very clear she wanted us to look after her garden, house, plants, cat etc when she went away which was about 10 times each year. She also wanted to talk about other neighbours she didn’t like and get us on her side. She was generally unpleasant and we made it clear we didn’t want any part of it. I think you’re better not being too friendly with your neighbours based on other people’s experiences.

I live in England..i think the etiquette is cultural than universal. In our case i don't want you to randomly knock on my door.
If our eyes meet when out then a polite nod and hello. Thats it.

We have a WhatsApp for the street

Genuine question, is there much to talk about? Is it just about things in the street or general chat? I would hate this. 😬

I don't see the need to do anything particular. Just say hello if your paths cross in the street.

I've met my neighbours mainly that sort of way. Either when I am out walking the dog or when one of us has taken in a parcel delivery for the other.

I don't see any need for a huge fanfare.

Its a bit weird. I live in a town so that I don’t have to know my neighbours and my private life is private. If someone wanted to be chummy when they moved in I’d worry how often they were going to knock.

@DeeplyMovingExperience I agree with this too, although I've never had new neighbours move next to me when we moved in our neighbour popped round with a bottle of wine to say hello, her jaw dropped to the floor when she realised I was a few week away from giving birth but the sentiment was lovely.

It just gets your off on the right foot with them i think, especially because we've been knocking the house to bits for the past 2 years x

We dropped a card to our 3 closest neighbour's and explained when we would be moving in I added my mobile no so they could make contact if any issues.

We received a ice welcoming text from 1 neighbour and the other 2 knocked on the door and said welcome.

Yesterday we had a letter from those moving into the house 2 doors down w pretty much the same in I will drop a text to welcome.

We get on well w all neighbour's but rarely do more than smiles and are you ok type things. Though the vicar opposite us have been known to arrive w fresh eggs when their chicken over produce 🙂

Think I’d wait to see them in the street, say hi, hope you moved in ok. Bin day is Thursday etc. I don’t want to be over friendly with neighbours, having had an extremely intrusive one for some years, she would be round all the time, drove me nuts.

I knocked on my neighbours doors both sides when I moved in to say hello and introduce myself. The people opposite, now moved, all came over and said hello.

I do bot want to be beat friends with my neighbours but at least know their names

My neighbours moved in to our terrace a few weeks before lockdown, so they were still in the process of sorting out the house when everything closed down. They dropped notes through everyone's doors saying that they had planned to have everyone round for drinks, but in the circumstances obviously not, but they would love to help if anyone needed shopping/prescription pick ups etc etc - and gave their phone nos. I thought that was very well done.

Tends to be just wait until you bump into each other here. We do all get along well in our street but aren't in and out of each other's houses. A card through the door with names and maybe a phone number would be nice. Usually the people moving out would be the ones that tell you the date if there were going to be removal lorries etc. It is good to communicate though, one of our neighbours does a lot of building work which has been quite intrusive at times and they never let us know before it starts which would take the edge off the irritation.

My neighbour introduced himself the day we moved in by screaming at me to move my car from the communal parking spaces as I didn't live there.

Anything more positive than that is a win these days!

I think it depends where you live. I lived in various parts of London for 20 years with minimal engagement with the neighbours throughout. Certainly no cards or introductions. Now live in the South of France where there is much more of a community feel. Personally I prefer the anonymity of a big city, but that’s because I’m an anti-social cow. I think a simple card through the door would be a nice gesture without being too ‘in your face’.

Part of the buying / offering on a property process. Always ask vendors too. Sorry if you think that's weird. Just knock on the door " Hi we're thinking of buying the house next door just wanted to say hello" . Nerve wracking but worth it.