Moral dilemma with cleaner

[Cosmos45]

Can anyone help me with this. I will try and give as much relevant information as I can. I lost my (really good) cleaner a long time ago due to injury. I found another one who was advertising locally. I messaged her and said that I needed 3 hours a week. She asked me when I wanted her, I said when are you free (thinking she maybe had other clients to fit me in around) and eventually she said she could come Saturday morning. I suppose at this point I didn't really cotton on that it would be every week on a Saturday, I thought maybe this was a trial run and we would decide what day to settle on when she got here. She doesn't drive so is dependant on her family to drop her off and pick her up.

She is a really nice lady, but has many many problems in her life which I get to hear about each week. Sick children, problems with the school, problems with her health, the children's health and the biggest problem of all is money. They are really skint and money is a big problem for them. She has said that the money we pay her each week pays for their food for the whole family.

As an aside she was asking for a really low hourly rate which I said was too low and I paid her more, but I round it up as I never have change.

I think with all the chatting she probably does half the time, to be honest, everything I have asked her to do is done, but I could use the left over time to get her to do other things.

I thought one week if I was away from the house (I took the children to the park) then I could not get stuck but when I got back she came downstairs and told me the all of the problems she had that week. To be honest her life sounds awful and I do really feel for what she is going through.

But it is starting to get me down, whilst we have had time off during lockdown she is asking when she can come back. I don't really want her on a Saturday (would prefer during the week) and call me callous but I don't want to hear about all the problems she has. I just want someone to do the cleaning, have a 5 min pleasantries chat by all means but I can't spend my Saturday morning talking for over an hour. She is desperate for the money and now I feel terrible if I say she cannot come back.

Just say you'd love to have her back but need to do a different day as that will work better for your family. The first few times she comes be on the phone when she arrives, excuse yourself to another room and you'll have broken the chatting habit.

I mean wave her in politely whilst being on the phone obviously!

I'm a cleaner.
Yours knows full well what she doing by standing round chatting instead of working, people can spot a soft touch a mile off.
You are paying her to talk to you.
Let her go before this carries on making it more difficult to fire her.
Her problems are not yours in a professional setting.

I'd ask her to come on a day you need to go out.
You could let her in possibly and ask her to do a couple of extras and to post the key on her way out?
I'd probably then have a look around and see how much she'd got done while you were out and take it from there.
If she's not doing a great job then I'd tell her I no longer needed her but do it sooner rather than later.
I'd also be wondering if she's telling you all these things and tales of woe because she knows you are a soft touch and you'll not get rid of her as she's on to a good thing.

I had a cleaner like you describe OP and I HATED it! She always wanted to talk about her disabled DS and (to be blunt), I was paying her to clean, not to listen to her rabbit on about her life.

My advice - say that having done the cleaning yourself for the past three months you've decided to carry on doing it yourself. Then find someone who will just clean. I have some lovely cleaners now. They come in, say hello, clean vigorously and leave. It's perfect! Your cleaner with her sob stories is taking the piss.

I couldn't handle that.

Lots of people's circumstances have changed over lockdown and/or are about to I would tell her that sadly you won't be able to have her back. No detailed explanation necessary.

Actually I agree with @ChavvySexPond. No explanation necessary!

You have to bite the bullet and tell her what you want doing and when. She either accepts that or doesn't. She's paid to do a job, not chat, so explain that as it stands it's not working for you. Don't be embarrassed, it needs sorting out.

She's playing you as a softie.

I have been a cleaner and now due to illness I employ a cleaner.
When I cleaned I never talked about personal problems.

I have had a cleaner who kept telling me all her troubles and it was making me very upset.......I am a softie but I couldn't help her and listening was too much because she is not a friend. I could feel myself being drained every week.
Also she did less work and more talking.
It finished when she began to not turn up regularly. She really did have a chaotic life but I made it clear that I need a weekly cleaner.

I think it is best to just tell her that Saturday doesn't work for you, or even that you are going to start to do it yourself.
You do not need to be honest with her. Just polite.

Thank you all..

@goldfinchfan - that's it.. It is making me upset. I feel like I am absorbing all of her problems emotionally and I just can't help her. My gut reaction is to help people where I can and the employment of the cleaner came about after feeling sorry for her (bit of a long story so easier to just say she was advertising). I wanted to help her out but did not expect all the stuff that would come with it. I don't mind a friendly chat and I will make her a cuppa but it is getting too consuming and too involved and I just don't need it.

I think I am going to have to bite the bullet and tell her. Oh god.. I hate this!

One of my clients used to stop me from doing my work so she could have a chat with me and I'd end up having to rush through the rest of the clean. In the end I said "you need to let me clean!" In a nice way and she apologized profusely and said she just really liked talking to me.

I know it's a different dynamic but it could be that she doesn't realise and finds you easy to chat to, rather than her having an ulterior devious motive. This doesn't negate the fact that she should be cleaning though.

If you're happy with her standard of work (when she isn't chatting!) then don't sack her but as others have said, change the day to suit you and take the time to be out. If you do the latter you will have to say that she needs to up the time cleaning, which I know will be a difficult conversation.

I think if you change the day you will force her hand anyway and she won't be able to clean for you. You shouldn't feel bad about wanting something done on a day that suits you, you employ her so it's your rules .