Calling in sick, should I be honest?

[Jumblebee]

I'm meant to be at work for 9am today for a 10 hour shift, my alarm is due to go off at 6am and I haven't been to sleep yet.

The past few months I've had issues falling asleep due to depression and anxiety, my manager is aware of how I've been feeling after I broke down in tears at work one day, and she was so kind to me. But I've always had the impression she doesn't really like me and I'm worried if I do call in sick and be honest about the reason why people won't believe me or thibk I'm pathetic. I don't want to lie but it doesn't feel like a good enough reason to call in sick.

I'm still struggling whether to call in sick at all or if I just need to put my big girl pants on and suck it up. I usually get the Monday morning panic and feel teary going in, but after 10 minutes of work I'm ok, but I'm worried what I'm going to be like going in on zero hours sleep. Last week I made quite a few stupid errors that knocked my confidence and I'm dreading doing the same thing again.

I only work 2 days per week so I hate calling in sick, I feel so bloody pathetic.

Should I call in and be honest about it being due to anxiety and lack of sleep, feign a stomach bug (i'm an awful liar) or suck it up and go in?

If you are customer facing then I would call up and be honest. If you are in an enclosed environment then go in and see how it goes.

Sorry you’re have a tough time. Bit anxious myself (hence sitting here in MN!) so I do understand.

Personally, and this is definitely jisy what I would do.. I would go in, even on no sleep and get it out the way. If something knocked your confidence last week you will just spend the day thinking about it and getting more anxious about not being there. Then you’ll be in the same situation next time.

If your literally dead in your feet (I cope pretty wel with little or no sleep) and it won’t be safe to be at work e.g you’re giving out medication then you may need to consider if that’s doable.

Have you thought about accessing some support from the dr? I had CBT and it did a lot for me xx

If you'll be fine after 10 mins, go in. I often am tired for a variety of reasons & I csn always get through work. You have 5 other days of the week to catch up. Staying home won't make you feel better, it might dent your confidence in your ability to cope with your job plus you'll have the added stress of how Boss will react the next day you go in. Have a hot shower when you get up, a proper breakfast & go in. If you do feel unwell or overly exhausted you could ask to go home early... but at least you were there & trying..

I work in a call centre so talking with customers all day but not directly customer facing.

I was referred by my Dr to Talking therapies but I was never brave enough to make the inital phone call (stupid, I know) but things started to get better. Then lockdown happened and home school + 2 year old deciding to drop their nap made everything at home twice as difficult so things got worse.

I think I'm going to call the doctors and get referred to Talking therapies again. I just don't want to have another breakdown at work in front of people.

@oooompa please take that first brave step and make the call. I honestly think it brought me back from the brink!!! Good luck xx

I would never be honest with my employer about mental health issues, but I am a coward.

You took the first step by speaking with your manager. You mention that she doesn't like you, but also that you have anxiety. Keep in mind that you may just think that she doesn't like you because of the anxiety.

If you feel brave enough then I would tell the truth. And if you don't feel brave enough, say that you have D&V. Either is fine.

Hope you get some sleep soon.

Don't do it. You will regret it all day and it could be the start of a cycle. Go in and see how you go

Go in and see how you go. I think ringing in may just make you feel worse. If you can't manage when you get there, come home but give it a go first.

Go in and see how you go. We‘ve all done the work day with zero hours sleep, it’s horrible but it’s do-able.

Sorry I have no advice - other than don’t drive if you haven’t slept. Too dangerous. But sending lots of sympathy as a fellow insomniac. Lockdown has wrecked my sleep patterns, even though I’m not having any other lockdown problems and am getting some exercise every day. Just can’t sleep. Really feeljng for you, OP.

I hope today goes well for you. And do see GP - like SerialCat, I’ve found cognitive behaviour therapy helpful in the past.

I did this about 2 years ago and haven't been back to work since as I just spiralled into depression and chaotic sleeping. If I could turn back the clock I would have gone in and started actively seeking alternative employment. Please try to muster up whatever strength you have and go in - nobody ever really regrets going to work.

For Sleep - I use a homeopathic medication now which you can buy from Wilkos. It's usually on the bottom shelf somewhere near the vitamins/minerals etc. It's called Sleep Aid. You take 2 an hour before you want to sleep.

Another thing that I find works (and I actually couldn't believe it until I tried it myself), but the Lavender Yankee candles work for making you feel sleepy. Light one in the room you're in for 2 hours before bed-time. I guarantee it will make you sleepy.
Struggle through today doing the bare minimum, don't drink tea/coffee late in the day (though you might need coffee for the 3 o'clock slump today), then see how you sleep tonight.

My doctor told me that anxiety about insomnia causes more harm that insomnia itself. Human body can do OK with much less sleep than we think. The more you worry that you cannot fall asleep, the less chances are you will. My insomnia has significantly improved since I managed to control my anxiety over it. If you only work two days a week, go in, you will be fine and will reward yourself with a good rest after work.

I had a 13 hour shift ahead of me on one hours sleep before, just could not switch off at all and the thought of going in on no sleep was horrendous but then with my anxiety as it is the thought of not going in at all was just as bad!
I went in, I was absolutely shattered but I managed it, lots of coffee helped me through! The morning was the worst part come afternoon I was okay really.
See how it goes, and if you have to be honest about your mental health with your employer than do, they have a duty of care to you and can offer support

Most work places only need to know your not going to work. Can you get a medical certificate to take a few days or day to go see your doctor and deal with the sleep & anxiety.
When you are functioning on lack of sleep it interferes with so many aspects of your life
Take the day off or go ASAP and go see your doctor.
We work to live not live to work and your
Mental health is vital!
Do you have any support available through your workplace for therapy.

I don't know what you decided but I would have struggled in. If you're part time then you've probably got tomorrow off to recover. I used to work 9-8 and was out of the house from 7.30 to 9 - I'd struggle in feeling grim some days and then be thoroughly pissed off when a part-timer rang in sick at 9am saying she hadn't slept very well. Take one for the team if you can, bank the brownie points.

I suffer with depression and anxiety.
100% go in as that feeling will just be there until you have to go in next time.

Break down what you need to do to get ready like, I’ll just put my pants on now. I’ll just brush my hair, I’ll just put my work clothes on, I’ll just have a little something to eat etc.
Face it step by step x

Also, on your next day off, do something for you if you can. What a movie you’ve wante to see, later alarm, favourite food, long bath or hell, if you can take a whole day.

If I were you I would go in. You'll be tired, yes and you'll have to push through but we all do it a times. You have 5 days off a week to rest and recuperate.

I think you should go in. If you only work 2 days a week you have the other 5 days to catch up on rest.

Are you seeing a doctor for your depression and anxiety?

I hope the fact that you haven't been back means that you've got some sleep OP, everything feels worse at 4am when you can't sleep.

You don't have to live like this, please consider counselling.

I’ve been there. I ended up being signed off for two weeks to sort out my mental health routines. Either can you go in or call your doctor. Either way, you need a plan to get life back on track. Take this as day one of a new start.

Hi op, I've had some bad sleep issues post-hysterectomy so I really sympathise Fwiw, if you are not operating heavy machinery, I would crack on for the sole reason that it will be harder to stay awake at home and then you continue to prolong the problem.

It's really hard but on nights where I dont sleep very much, or not at all, I feel much better (eventually!) after going out for an early long dog walk and then cracking on with chores. It's exactly the opposite of what you feel like doing but has a better outcome!