My life is a disaster

[Lonelylockdown22]

I live somewhere where I don't really know anyone, I have a couple of friends. I had a relationship break down in January which I still feel so so awful about. I hate my life and I don't even know how to begin in sorting it out. I'm also about 2 and a half stone overweight.

You have some friends. That's a positive base to start from. Have you spoken to them about how you're feeling?

Break it down into small steps. What would you like to fix about your life? Obviously you can't go backwards, but you can go forwards - would you like to meet more people? Then perhaps look into groups you can join, maybe virtually at first then more in real life. Would you like to lose weight? Maybe start small, go out for walks - in fact, why not join a walking group and kill two birds with one stone?

Talk about how you are feeling. Maybe book yourself a GP appointment and tell them you are feeling very low and despondant.

Hope things look up for you soon.

How old are you? Sorry but I presume this may have an impact on your goals.

You can't change what you can't control but there's lots you can change.

Do you want to learn a new skill? Can you join something exercise based that will help you lose the weight? Have you got time to volunteer?

Things aren't a disaster but you are in a rut. You can get out I promise!

Do you have family somewhere? Can you go “home”? How old are you?

In my early 20s I dug myself a big hole, having moved far away to a strange town for a boyfriend who then dumped me, I had a job in this town but no friends, no one close by, I was desperately lonely and cried myself to sleep every night. But pride meant I refused to give in and go home.

This was long before phones and social media etc so I was absolutely cut off.

In the end a friend from my home town died so I went home for the funeral. I got ill (with a virus that put me in hospital for weeks, how ironic) and had to recuperate at home. I was home for about 6 weeks when I realised I hadn’t cried in all that time (despite being ill) and I accepted it was time to move home. Best decision I ever made.

Hey OP. I had a catastrophic relationship breakdown earlier this year and am starting a new job in a new place next week. Remarkably, I'm also 2.5st overweight. I reckon we could be friends.

I am 27.

Yes @Mrsmorton, let's be friends.

@Bilzo my family are really spread out. I couldn't go home.

I have no job and no relationship and live in a village where I know nobody if that helps at all.....
Planning on either moving back to London or going to Greece for a year. Would a move help you at all?

Okay. Why do you live where you live? Is it for work? Or is it to do with the relationship?

If it’s the latter and you have no real ties where you are, then why not look for a new place to start afresh. A new challenge, new surroundings.

The weight you can work on in the mean time.

Don't worry too much about the weight I am sure you look fine. It can come off slowly with just a few changes like no sugar in tea or no alcohol, honestly.