Please help me- not sure where to post

[BruceAndMarley]

Hi, this is a long shot and I have posted in the Prenatal mental health section but thought maybe more people read on here. Apologies if it’s not the best place.

I was just wondering if anyone was induced early due to anxiety at all? I’m only 31 weeks at the moment with my first baby, I’m 25 and very healthy, all has gone fine and every time I’ve worried before scans, baby has been perfect , but I wondered if anyone has spoken to their Obstetrician and had any luck discussing delivering a bit earlier ? I’m possibly having a c-section anyway due to high risk pregnancy (seizures) but haven’t seen my consultant since 20 weeks, I’m due to see her on Thursday this coming week and want to ask then but I don’t want to sound silly.
I have had a really good couple of weeks and then I always seem to see videos pop up on bloody TikTok or Instagram of people sharing some very sad stories which are of course awful and I can’t even imagine, but they just pop up and it’s got me into a right anxious state again. I can’t cope. I’ve had numerous breakdowns, developed OCD and severe anxiety. I just want my baby here. First my worries were miscarriage , then missed miscarriages, then birth defects , then reduced movements and now I’m so close to the end I’m obsessed with still birth.

I’m still awaiting a MH referral (which was done about 5 weeks ago) but I slipped through the net as I wasn’t seen as being ‘urgent’ because I’m not suicidal and don’t take medication (that’s what I was told the reason was when I called for help yesterday). Just makes me wonder how mad you have to be before being seen, and I feel very alone.
I have nobody else to talk to other than my husband who is incredible but obviously doesn’t see my worries logically . Because they are irrational. And he also works very long days. If I post on any social media either friends will see it or if it’s a group I’ll possibly get comments from people who have lost babies which will obviously trigger me. I just need someone to talk some sense into me, give me some hope of reassurance etc . Please be kind.
Thank you x

First of congratulations on your pregnancy. You sound exactly how I was. My little boy is now 7 months.

I too was under a consultant for a different reason and she was very sympathetic towards my anxiety. From about 36 weeks I was seen twice pre booked for movements and my induction was booked for 39 weeks. It took two days for him to arrive from being induced. It was fine. I was on my own for a lot of it with just the midwives as I felt more relaxed with just them. I told them how terrified I was and they checked on me all the time and watched me whilst I slept as I had an epidural and the baby was misbehaving a little bit.

I too was petrified. I was scared of birth and I was scared he would be born stillborn. The hospital knew this and responded kindly.

Speak to your consultant with your concerns frankly. I told mine I simply couldn't face going to 40 weeks and she gave me 2 options. Induction at 39 weeks or c-section at 39 weeks. I chose induction and it worked out well for me.

Be kind to yourself it is very scary I know. Feel free to message me if you want to speak

There are mental health specialist midwives. I ended up calling my MW team in tears wracked with anxiety as DS1's second birthday exacerbated all my anxiety over his birth which was causing me to be on a higher risk pathway and in my head forcing me to labour through the worst bits of DS1's birth again.

I had an appointment on labour ward to get a calm and positive experience on there and go through viable options to make labour better for me, such as using mats and birthing balls to get resonably active despite monitoring and SPD.

That did make the anxiety more managable and I went on to have a much more postive experience.

Call your MW team and see what support they can offer you.

@PossumMagic0 thank you so much, that was a really helpful reply knowing I’m not alone and it’s ok to feel this way . I’ll talk to my consultant on Thursday , I just hope she has time to talk to me as my 20 week fetal medicine scan was quite in and out (of course the scan was very thorough but we didn’t talk afterwards). My midwife is lovely but she again is very busy and I just feel really abandoned the last few weeks.
Can’t fault the care though of course , and I know the nhs are under strain but I do feel like I’ve been missed. I’d love to chat please.

@BogRollBOGOF thank you for your reply also, really informative . Sorry you had that experience with anxiety too. I’ll try and contact my midwife again but I’ve tried 3 times and not heard back. I’m hoping she is ok

I have diagnosed OCD and I was pregnant with twins (they're nearly two). When I discovered I was pregnant, my GP changed my medication to one that was better for pregnancy but it didn't help me the same way my previous one did, although I'm sure it was better than nothing at all.

I had very similar fears to you the whole way through, movements, MMCs, cord issues, placental issues then sickening fear about stillbirth.

The only reason I mention all of that is because they came five weeks early, and that for me caused a whole new string of hideous anxiety about survival rates of premature babies. I was in hell. So I'm just adding my experience to say that being induced early might not totally help you the way you think it will. Before mine were born I thought 'at least when they're here I can see them and I'll know they're okay' but it didn't feel like that at all it was awful.

As PP said, talk to your GP and MW very frankly about what you're feeling. They'll help you to decide whether your anxiety is risky enough to warrant an early induction. I hope perhaps they can offer you some medication to help you to relax though, as the best place for baby is with you until they're ready to come out, and it would be lovely for you to be able to enjoy the final few weeks of pregnancy.

Lots of love

@BruceAndMarley that's ok. I'll send you a private message later. It is horrible and like the pp above has said said when they are born there is another load of worry (although I didn't have premature worries!). But it does get better as they get bigger. 39 weeks is considered full term and my consultant was fine for me to be induced at that gestation. I too wasn't "ill" enough for the MH midwife team to help me. I would recommend self referring for counselling now. The baby blues for me didn't last the magical two weeks but went on for a good month or more. When you have a baby you are fast tracked for counselling so I would look online to see if your county have something in place.