How do you ‘get over’ a toxic workplace?

[gingajewel]

I started a new job in December, which seemed like a great career progressive move however it soon transpired that the place was toxic, the manager controlled the team by low level bullying and the person in charge was the absolute worst person I have ever met! I have secured a new role, thank goodness and I handed my notice in yesterday. I thought the anxiety would disappear straight away but it hasn’t! I still feel mentally tied to the job and can’t believe how awful I was treated. My new role rang me for something the other day and as soon as I answered the phone I was expecting to be shouted at as that’s what’s happened for the past six months! Of course I wasn’t but it’s like I’m expecting my new role to be the same and i am worrying about everything! I have lost all my confidence and feel so rubbish at my job now! I don’t know how to shake it off and mentally draw a line underneath it!
Previous to this I was in a role for six years with a manager who is now one of my closest friends and I have a masters in my profession but my god, I feel rock bottom! How do I shake this off!!!

Well done in getting a new job (especially under this economic climate).

Try and focus on what you have achieved so far in life. You know that you are good at what you do - why would you keep landing new jobs if you weren’t? As you progress through your career you know exactly the type of manager you don’t want to be which will be invaluable.

I've felt like you do and honestly the stress didn't go until I'd been at my new workplace for a while. I mean, they were instantly friendly and welcoming but I had put up with my previous manager blowing hot and cold and me never knowing if she actually meant what she was saying for so long I was always waiting for the but when new boss was telling me what a great job I was doing. I guess maybe a month or so in I realised that every positive thing was being said with sincerity, and any negatives were always phrased gently and with advice about how to grow and develop in the role. Never once felt 'told off' or like I'd been summoned to the head teacher's office.

It's a shame that it takes so long to build confidence but it can be the work of minutes to destroy it.

Good luck in your new role @gingajewel