Regular boring train of thought for me.
I wish I wasn't alive and could just disappear. I have a normal life but it's all too hard and I can't cope with it.
I have a therapist every fortnight. I have friends. I have breaks from my kids. I have ADs. I have a job. I just don't want to do all this anymore. I am just not cut out for life. I've accessed parenting support.
My kids aren't happy. It's just a horrible world from my perspective. Some people enjoy life, which is fine, but why do I need to carry on and suffer. I just don't fit in.
I can have good days, good weeks. But generally, it's all a struggle and every few days I just feel like I can't cope again.
My kids hate me and complain all the time. I can't contain all their angst. I can't discipline as everyone on MN seems to be able to. I'm a failure OK?
Their dad is a dick and they see him fortnightly but he is largely irrelevant and not a helpful part of the picture. I know I sound negative and sad. I know. I'm sorry for that. I don't want to be like this. God.
I'm just venting. I don't even need replies.