Should I message my old teacher?

[ClockyClock]

Lockdown has given me time to reflect. I had a horrible teenage life and visibly self harmed, social services involved, bullied etc. My school teachers, except one, ignored this. (Or certainly never mentioned anything to me, or offered help etc).
One teacher did, repeatedly try to offer an olive branch, referenced my SH, asked after me and smiled at me sometimes. Hell knows why as in retrospect I probably came over as weird, uncommunicative and grumpy.
The teacher is still at the school and I have found her on Facebook. I wondered whether it would be odd to send her a message of thanks. Like, a "thanks for trying" type message?
Has anyone else done this? Is it weird?

Message her through the school, but not FB.

I think that's a nice thing to do, I'm sure she'll appreciate a thank you. Maybe send a handwritten card via the school rather than a FB message though? Or am I just very old fashioned?

I think that would be a lovely message to receive.
Maybe make it clear to them you don't expect them to reply etc if it's inappropriate.
I think we all have that teacher who just seems to get us.

So sorry you had such a tough time OP. I have things have improved for you. I think it would be fine to write a letter and sent it to the school rather than via social media. Glad you had such a good teacher. Take care.

Im sure it would make the teachers day/ month/ year to receive such a thoughtful message.
Teachers deal with so many children and I think until now no one understood how hard their work is, to know they made a difference in someone's life would mean that everything they have done is worth it. Please send it to her but post as a handwritten letter is more personal.

I think it would be lovely message to receive but a bit creepy/scary through personal FB. Agree with others, send it via school.

I think it would be inappropriate to message on FB. Email the school and ask them to forward it to the teacher. I'm sure she would be delighted to know how you got on in life.

Thanks, yeah a handwritten card would be better wouldn't it, I don't want to come over as a weird stalker (which she probably would think I have become) I hadn't considered doing that so good call.
Things have improved for me in many ways although like lots of people I struggle still with the consequences of my life then even now more than twenty years later.

I was a similarly messed-up teenager, and there were a couple of adults in my life at the time who made a difference and cared. I would love to be able to say thank you too, but it is now 20 years since I left school and I have no way of contacting them. I think you should. I think it would mean a lot to your teacher too.

I’m sure a note thanking her would be well received. Just send it to her name at the school address, it will make it’s way to her pigeon hole.

That’s a lovely idea, do write her a card. Sometimes i get a card or email from a previous student that comes just at the right moment. If I’m having a rubbish day at work, it reminds me why I do the job I do and makes it feel worthwhile. You have no idea the positive impact such kind actions can have, someone taking the time to write and say thanks can mean so much

Ive had a couple of these messages on facebook, and its absolutely made my day

Its so so lovely to know that you have made a difference, she will appreciate it.

I was a teacher. Out of the blue, I was forwarded from my old school an email from a pupil of mine.

She said I just wanted to let you know that your A'level English classes made such a difference to me. After A'levels, I did an English degree at xxxx university and have now just qualified as an English teacher. Thanks Miss Seranda.

I was so pleased! I had left teaching and was wondering whether I had done anything significant with my life and whether I had achieved what it was I wanted to achieve in teaching (save the world stuff, really). It was a friend's mum who said that it is the little things that are significant, just one person you can make a difference to. I wouldn't have identified her as a person who needed anything from me but you don't know that, do you? I thought that year was a failure (NQT year) but in hindsight maybe it wasn't all lost!

And then later, after I congratulated myself, I thought, was she just looking for a job?????!!!!!

Send it, please. It could be the thing that brings home to a teacher what they have done and that it was worth it.

@happypotamus

Send a letter in a sealed envelope to the teachers and put it in an envelope with a letter to the school explaining that if they could pass it on, you would be grateful.

They will probably be able to.

Honestly, I have kept all my thank you cards from pupils from 25 years ago.

However you decide to send it, please do send it. As a former-teacher, I would love to hear those thoughts from a past student of mine.

And they might just be the things the teacher needs to hear when dealing with a pupil in a similar situation to you.

We do go home at night and think of what we can do to help but we dont get the follow up.

I still think of a little girl I taught where there were questions about her home life. A brave, feisty little girl who was fighting the world. I wonder where she is now and how she is.