Logistics of co-parenting help?

[31weeksgone]

Wondering if anyone has any tips. My DD will be at her dads from school mid week for one or two night, and every other weekend.

So she will need some school uniform at his, but what then about her toys?

Is it best to simply duplicate things and have two of everything eg wellies, coats etc? But then how do I get “my” clothes of hers she goes in?

Do we pack a bag everytime? Especially as the handovers will be mainly via school starting and ending, we can’t exactly leave a bag at school can we, or CAN we?

Has anyone any tips on how they handled this? I’ve googled until I’m blue in the face and have plenty of tips on being amicable, but not on the actual stuff!

Thank you

For example, she has a rather huge collection of a certain toy she loves to play. I can’t transport that back and forth all the time. Do I take it as I’m the “main” home she’ll be at? It’s a minefield. Maybe it’s the separation clouding my mind but I’m confused as to what to do for the best!

How old is DD? My DS was 7 when me and his dad split and we managed by splitting toys across both homes and his favourite cuddly travelled with him (still does even although he's 13 now). He was involved in the choosing which made it fun and less traumatic for him, but of course age would be dependent on this. If you dont want to split her favourite toy collection maybe have her second favourite at daddies? That way she can look forward to playing with the favourites when she comes back to your

We have clothes at both locations so he doesnt have to pack when he goes but shoes travel. Its easier now but when he was littler we did end of day hand overs so we didnt have the whole bag issue with school. The primary he was at wouldn't accomodate the extra bag, i doubt many can but its worth asking your school.

He sends her back in the clothes she is sent over in. She can take toys at the weekends if she likes but probably not school nights due to school rules. He invests in toys (I did a de clutter to be nice and sent a load of duplicated stuff and stuff she was growing out if you start him off)

Oh yeah- we share her shoes and coats including the cost (on top of maintenance)

He probably needs a second batch of toys at his. You don't want to be driving to his to pick up a Barbie shoe or whatever. Good news is even if they are second hand, there's less money wasted as he'll know what she likes. If it's the sort of toy where there's lots of variants eg Barbie she might enjoy having a different one at his house. For example she might have mermaid Barbie at his and fairy Barbie at yours.

My kids only see their Dad at weekends and he pays me extra as he doesn't want the hassle of buying extra clothes etc so mine cart stuff every time. They are old enough to know if they forget something that's it until next time. I've only had to buy an emergency coat at the supermarket once - phew. They've been doing this for years now so know that packing the minimum means less likely to forget something.

In your shoes probably easiest to get her to change into your clothes when she gets back and dress her in Dad's clothes when she goes to his but you could do this the other way and get him to do the changing and sending back of your clothes?

He’ll need some clothes for her. Up to you if you give him a stash or he buys some bits. Midweeks she’ll go in uniform and come back in uniform. Will the weekend involve school pick up?

When my ex and I were on good terms we did toy rotation with some there and some here. Some bits need duplicated like Lego or drawing stuff.

She’s 4, so starting school in September.

I think we’ll just split toys with favourites at mine and some at his.

More than happy to split clothes I can just see me not getting them back, will have to make a plan.

She’s never gotten attached to any particular blanket or teddy, but maybe I can start her off on one so she has something to take between the two houses.

Thanks everyone that’s really helpful

He won’t need millions of clothes. You can also ask him to send her back in the clothes that she arrives in, but that might not happen.

He’ll need a stock of basics at his - pants, socks, vests if she wears them, pyjamas and after school clothes. He’ll also need to buy a uniform set so he doesn’t need to wash and dry overnight midweek - even if you can normally get two days out of a skirt or trousers you can guarantee that will be the day she spills paint. He can wash it for the next week and it’ll cycle between you that way.

Then for the weekends he’ll likely be able to use the after school clothes. I’d recommend trainers/casual shoes at his so she can change after school, she can wear them at weekends as well if he collects her from school on the Friday. If he collects from yours hopefully she’ll come home in whatever shoes you send her in.

If she doesn’t have a teddy or anything then don’t encourage anything that must go back and forth

It’s a ballache when an essential gets left behind.

That’s true I will be collecting her in his school uniform sometimes and I don’t want to create more work for myself from a teddy. Thank you!