3 month old and naps 20 mins a time. Help

[SamHas]

Hi. Hope everyone is well.
Im a FTM and My 3 month old is a awful sleeper, paticularly in the last week or so.. been very fussy. Wakes up from the slighest sounds.
So I aim to get him to nap after 1.5 hours of wake time. I rock him to sleep and also give a dummy. When i put him down in his rocking cot-its hit and miss hel wake up and needs picking again or il rock the cot and with some luck hel sleep...I can deal with that.. I guess.
But my main concern is he wakes up after 20 mins crying ( so clearly still wants to nap). But then rocking the cot giving him his dummy does not work at all. I am having to pick him up, rock him, hold him for 15 mins and then rock him back in his cot.
I feel exhuasted...I wish he wud just nap for longer..because he is soo cranky..
Night sleep is Ok..not great but better than him naps. Does still wakes 3x at night

I would appreciate any help or advice..stressed out mama here..Thanks in advance

help..anyone?

Just to say Hello, my DS are teenagers now so my advice is potentially outdated!! But I didn't want to read and run.

Mine would do this fussing and waking if they were overtired, and I used to pop them in in cot and just let them settle themselves laying down, if they didn't settle I'd pick up cuddle and rock, but then pop them down again before they fell asleep on me.

Eventually they associated the cot with nap times and then settle for longer naps. But I'd always use the same room for sleep, not the sofa, bedroom etc always their room or where they sleep, curtains shut etc.

I wonder also if it's growth spurt time? So maybe baby is still hungry?

Like I said.. very old school, I'm sure you'll get lots of support and big congratulations 🥳

Hungry? Maybe an extra feed?

This is my baby too. I've resigned myself to the fact he needs cuddling whilst sleeping. I sometimes wear a sling if I have things to do.

I can only really put him down when he's awake or after 10 pm when he's having his long sleep.

No advice from me unfortunately but if you find a way, let me know!

I had this with my first and going it through it now with my second. I found walking in the buggy was good at helping them to link sleep cycles and get past the first 15-20mins. Once we had that established then I started trying to put down for naps in their bed.
It's still hit and miss at the moment with DS who's just 12 weeks but I've noticed a big difference in the last week or so I've been doing that and he has now had a handful of day sleeps in his own bassinet that lasted about and hour so it feels like I'm heading in the right direction. They are all different though so good luck!

I also have a 12 week old baby who is very hit and miss with naps! Someone on here suggested to me that 1.5 hours of awake time might be too long for her and that she might be getting overtired, so I started trying to settle her for naps after an hour/hour and a quarter of awake time, and that seems to have helped! So I put her in her moses basket and kind of jiggle her until she drops off, sometimes with lullabies or white noise on YouTube in the background. She is also a ridiculously light sleeper for the first 20 mins or so, so I just try to dim the room and keep it as quiet as possible (with just a fan or aforementioned YouTube) until I feel like she’s properly asleep. Sometimes I end up tiptoeing around her for the whole nap which is very frustrating when I want to get stuff done (and when my cats decide to knock picture frames over or yowl with particular gusto while she’s asleep!) but if it means she gets the right amount of sleep I’ll do it. If she struggles to settle in her moses basket I’ll push her back and forth in her pram until she drops off and leave her in there to nap. Giving her a dummy very occasionally helps but more often than not she spits them out. Not sure if that helps but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone!

Thank you soo much. I am currently napping him in a swing and tried the cot and he was slightly better in the swing...
But i think il start with napping him in his cot and brave it and put a monitor. Maybe the single sleeping place might help him. with longer naps.
Thanks guys..really appreciate it

This is completely normal for this age ! The part of a babies brain that helps them to nap for consistent, decent amounts of time doesn't develop until around six months. I had to hold my baby for most naps prior to six months and then gradually she started to sleep for longer amounts. It can be so frustrating when your trying to get them to sleep and are wondering if they will ever do a decent nap. They will! I really miss those cuddly naps now!

I also had to hold DD for naps at that age. With her it was partly linked to her silent reflux but I don't think it's unusual. I used a carrier so I had my hands free at least. I think she started napping in her crib at about 6 months.

(I wasn't one of those women running around doing housework with the baby in the carrier, I was on the sofa watching box sets but at least my hands were free for the remote, eating chocolate, using my phone etc, so it did feel like something of a break even though she was on me.)

@samhas download the app
Huckleberry, it saved my sanity

I had a baby who would usually wake after 30 mins and would be really grumpy, clearly having woken too early. I had some success with going to him just before the 30 min sleep cycle was up and very gently stirring him (e.g. wiggling his dummy, or touching his arm), enough to stir him but not enough to wake him. That would get him off into another sleep cycle, so I got another 30 mins respite. Of course, this isn't a guarantee and sometimes it had the opposite effect and actually woke him early from his nap, which was galling! But with practice I got better. I think I read about it in a book - poss the No Cry Sleep Solution. But it was a long time ago now!

Catnapping is totally normal at that age (and beyond) There is a strange myth that sleeping in small amounts is 'junk sleep' and you must consolidate it but all sleep is restorative and some babies are just on a 20 or 30 minute cycle. My own son was exactly the same. The only issue with it is you can't get anything done and it isn't long enough to sleep yourself so I totally feel your pain but for them, it's absolutely not an issue!

I did have some success with going in right before the wake up (so 15 mins for you) and rubbing back/ patting bum through the wake up so he went back down - but it only worked rarely!

Most babies will gradually consolidate their sleep themselves into 3 longer naps, then 2, then 1.

3 months is a tough age! Hang in there!

Also I wouldn't say waking crying was anything to worry about. One of my kids woke crying until he was about 2! Just didn't like the feeling of waking up I think and was always crankier right after a sleep.

3x a night totally fine and normal. Might get a bit worse for a while then get better.

This is all sooo helpful..thank you guys. So reassuring.

Il defos look at this app..thanks @justlikejasper

@samhas I didn't pay for the full app just used it religiously to record baby's naps it worked a treat

@justlikejasper perfect..using it as we speak Thank you

@TimeWastingButFun. sorry I just got the chance to actually read each post in depth , and realised i hadnt replied back to your help.
Urmm i dont think hes hungry..but then again its taking me soo long to settle him..it tends to be his milk time when im getting him to settle for the second cycle..
I might keep a bottle next to me and maybe try it see if hel take it mid cycle? What you think? - But then again Iv herd should feed a sleepy baby, night associate feed with sleep? urrghhhh so much to think about..lol

Sorry one more thing. If he doesnt settle and sleep again after waking from his 20 min nap...shall I just go ahead and keep him awake until his next nap?

Like for example now...He just slept 25mins..tried to settle him back again..4x...Everytime i put him in his crib or even just hold him..hes just cries..( he is fussy but extra fussy these days )
So I just gave up..and fed him and just playing with him..hes ok..not crying but a little irritated by the smallest of adjustments..lol..