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Do some people have a secret fat fetish?

6 replies

YellowBlueDaisy · 24/06/2020 09:57

I was a little girl when I started to put on weight. I was a size 16 in secondary school. I battled with weight issues through the years. I went up and down and up. I don't feel hard done by, by my past as a child and I'm not angry at my parents. It came from a place of poverty and it is what it is.

I'd day over the past 5 years, the biggest obstacle to me was being time poor. I can remember a work day last summer where I got up in the morning and I got ready in the morning and went to work at 8.30 am. It was 9pm at night by the time I finished. There were other days that were equally as long.

The virus emerged and it was reported that there's a relationship with obesity.

It was enough to get me going. I really had to work hard over the past few months. The lockdown was great because I got more free time to focus on clean eating and to exercise. I'm seeing some results now thank goodness. It's not as fast as what I would like to see. I seem to be hovering the scales at 15 stone 6 pounds for the past week.

I can remember many years ago working with someone and she was terrible at lunchtime. She would look at what you're eating and ask 'do you know how many calories is in that?'. She really was very bad. It didn't matter what it was you're were eating and she always looked down on it. That really stuck with me. Here I am on a weight loss journey and it was something that I kept to myself. I didn't announce it to my circle of people in my life. I just got on with clean eating and exercise.

There's a few people in my life who has now come to realise that I'm on a new journey for weight loss. I think maybe they are somewhat envious or something.

  1. I work as a nanny. The mother is like a model. Herself and her husband is falling back into their old ways of looking after themselves first before their own child and me. As in they are coming home later and later and placing their own exercising ahead of allowing me home at a reasonable time in the evening. There was a few evenings last week where I had plans to go out walking after work but I was stuck in work. The husband gone out golfing. The mother gone out walking. I got my walks in but I was looking at 9/10/11pm at night which is far too late.

2)I live at home with my mother and she has noticed the clean diet and now she's is claiming my cooking is giving her headaches. My diet consists of poached eggs, cheese, salmon, veg. There's no garlic or spices or onions and it's just clean eating. There's hardly any smells from poached eggs. I also have a brother at home. The kicker here is that every night he uses his deep fat fryer for cooking his dinners and the kitchen smells of a chipper and my mother doesn't complain about them smells. She's finding steamed veg offensive but not my brothers cooking. It's nearly indirectly trying to tell me the deep fat fryer cooking is OK but poached eggs and steamed veg is not ok.

Do some people have a secret fat fetish where their happiness and self esteem belongs in me or another person being fat?

OP posts:
BubblyMilk · 24/06/2020 10:20

Yes they do. Particularly if they have food issues themselves.
Well done on the hard work so far and good luck! Perhaps look into assertiveness courses?

Anditsgin111 · 24/06/2020 10:24

Definitely. My super skinny size 6 ex friend would forever tell me I'd look so amazing if I lost weight, how I'm so confident for my size etc, like bye child go and cry on a lettuce leaf this big booty don't care about your confidence issues!

Dugup · 24/06/2020 10:25

'Fetish' relates to a sexual interest, which is not what you are describing here. Yes many people gain their own self worth through comparing themselves to thoes around them so it suits their agenda to keep other people down.

As an aside, why are you letting your employers regularly keep you over your agreed hours?

Wearywithteens · 24/06/2020 10:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

OutComeTheWolves · 24/06/2020 10:33

Yes I don't know if it's a fetish as such but many people get their self esteem from perceiving themselves to be 'better' than other people. It's not always about weight some people can place a disproportionate amount of value on beauty, career, finances, car or house too.

It's very hard to keep sight of what is truly important imo.

Prayerwheel · 24/06/2020 10:56

What @Dugup and @Wearywithteens said. It’s irrelevant whether (and it sounds deeply unlikely that) your employers are making you work over your hours in order to foil your weight loss. They are just being unfair employers. Don’t let it happen again.

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