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Original poster

How can you put baby to bed early AND have them with you all the time? Confused!

25 replies

ShirleyPhallus · 23/06/2020 21:50

DD is now 3 months old and showing signs of wanting to go to bed earlier than she does now (with us, so 9.30ish). I’m very confused though. NHS advice for SIDS is to have baby sleeping with you until 6 months old, but all the standard sleep routines suggest baby sleeps 7-7.

How on earth do you get around this? The NHS advice would indicate a baby monitor isn’t suitable then as the baby would be in a different room but I know people use them. Is this just a calculated risk thing in terms of SIDS?

We have the added complication of being in a town house set up so our bedroom is 2 floors away from living room, so I wouldn’t really feel comfortable putting her to bed then coming all the way downstairs.

Would love to know how people get around this. Apart from going to bed with her at 7 I can’t see how it’s workable!

OP posts:
lyralalala · 23/06/2020 21:52

Do you have a Moses basket? I put them to sleep in the basket, or a crib, then transferred them upstairs when I was going to bed (which was always just before or after feeding so not disturbing them unnecessarily).

Orangedaisy · 23/06/2020 21:52

We put dd to bed in her sleepyhead on the living room floor (where we were) until we went to bed, at which point she transferred to the cot. Generally she woke at some point in the evening (and through the night....) for a feed so if it was vaguely when I wanted to go to bed I’d just move her and me then.

Purplequalitystreet · 23/06/2020 21:54

Keep them downstairs in a moses basket until you go upstairs. My DS slept just fine with the TV on, talking etc until he was about 5 months

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LoisLittsLover · 23/06/2020 21:54

When dd started sleeping around 8pm, I listened to an audio book or watched something on the ipad in the dark bedroom with her. Was only for about 4 weeks as we took a calculated decision to move her to her own room at about 21 weeks, so then we left her after she had gone to bed.

justanotherneighinparadise · 23/06/2020 21:54

From memory I went up with my son and sat in the bed on my phone while he slept next to me in his cot. With DC2 he was either cluster feeding or asleep on DPs legs while he rocked him from side to side and watched the TV.

pinkcattydude · 23/06/2020 21:55

Ours used to sleep in the Moses basket or travel cot with us until we went to bed. But at 5 months we worked out he was being woken by us overnight and moved into his own room for all naps. Also they are all just guidelines not laws and our babies haven’t read the books. you have to figure out what works for you and your family.

Maranello4 · 23/06/2020 21:57

Another town house person here...! My son slept in our room on the top floor with us for the first six months. I put him into his cot bed at 7pm and also had a baby monitor rigged up - not sure why you wouldn’t be able to do this or is it a lack of space? Or wouldn’t feel comfortable? I’d then go down and have dinner etc., bedtime at 10ish and do a night feed later on.

Sandybval · 23/06/2020 22:02

We had a baby box in the living room and he just slept in there until we went to bed usually. If he was a bit unsettled I'd sometimes take him up to bed and read in our room so as not to risk walking him to take him upstairs.

ShyTown · 23/06/2020 22:04

We used to do the Moses basket downstairs then carry it up to our room when we went to bed. Then at about 4 months old it became clear that it wasn’t working anymore and she need quiet and dark so she moved into her own room with a baby monitor.

SqidgeBum · 23/06/2020 22:14

For me, baby went to bed at 7pm upstairs in the moses basket in our room, I had the baby monitor, and I would do a feed at 10ish and then go to bed myself. I also put her up for her naps in our room from about 4 weeks and used the monitor. She slept ten times better in our room with classical music playing than downstairs in the sitting rom. Maybe I am just an irresponsible parent, but I was comfortable using the baby monitor, and will be doing the same again when my DC2 arrives in November. For me, guidelines are guidelines, not laws. Its up to every parent how they want to approach them. Do what is comfortable for you.

Sailingblue · 23/06/2020 22:15

You basically can’t if you want to have any sanity or have more than one child. My second needed to be in a darkened room by 7 and asleep or she would scream for 3-4 hours in an overstimulated rage. When she was so tiny I was in bed by 9 because I was knackered so it was only really a few hours on her own. For naps, when she was tiny, she stayed with me but by 3 months she needed dark and quiet.

With my first, I stuck to the guidance rigidly for naps and ended up with a baby that would only nap on me. I couldn’t have done it with my second.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/06/2020 22:21

Newborn stage Moses basket downstairs, they sleep through general noise/ light etc. though tbh I wanted to sleep as soon as they went down as I knew I’d be up all night.

midnightstar66 · 23/06/2020 22:24

I've always lived all on one level. Moses basket on wheels and hair wheel through when i go to bed. Good for getting desensitised to sounds while sleeping too

MissDai5y · 23/06/2020 22:29

DD slept in the front room with us until we went to bed when she would gbe fed and put in cot.
tv light etc never bothered her.

Original poster
ShirleyPhallus · 23/06/2020 22:50

Another town house person here...! My son slept in our room on the top floor with us for the first six months. I put him into his cot bed at 7pm and also had a baby monitor rigged up - not sure why you wouldn’t be able to do this or is it a lack of space?

We could, but I feel uncomfortable about it as then she’s 2 floors away from us for that many hours, and it goes against the NHS advice. If we were in a flat I’d feel much more comfortable about her just being next door.

Interesting that so many put babies to “bed” then just transfer them upstairs. We have no Moses basket but a sleepyhead so I might try that. Do people do the bedtime routine still at 7pm then baby sleeps downstairs or did you not introduce that until later?

OP posts:
GirlCalledJames · 23/06/2020 22:57

We put the baby in the middle of the bed at 7–8ish, then took it in turns to get up and do whatever we needed to do. We watched Netflix using a headphone splitter and went to sleep by 9pm. Obviously it’s nicer when they are older and you get your evenings back but it was fine for a few months, very fond memories.

pinkcattydude · 24/06/2020 01:01

Full bedtime routine for 7pm for ours

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 24/06/2020 01:06

Moses basket in the living room until about 4 months when it became clear he needed dark and quiet. So we put him in his cot with video monitor until we went to bed then he came into the side crib in our room. It was either that or we went to bed far too early.

octobersky19 · 24/06/2020 01:10

Tbh not practical but I'm only a mum of one, I go to bed when DS goes to bed 7pm-7:30pm. It's just been that way since birth, I don't like going down, I'm usually exhausted by then anyway. DH comes too and we watch a movie Quietly in bed, DS is in his cot next to us.

I know this doesn't suit everyone and I'm not advising it, it works for us.

notangelinajolie · 24/06/2020 01:15

Mine slept in the pram downstairs with me until I went to bed before which I would do a nappy change and a last bottle feed. Upstairs, they slept in the cot next to our bed.
After 6 months we moved the cot into their own room so they were able to go to 'bed' and this is when we got into the routine of a more regular bath/bed time. We used a baby monitor from then.

BogRollBOGOF · 24/06/2020 01:20

Mine cluster fed and napped until about 5m so got carried up when I went to bed until then.

I wasn't in the room perpetually while they slept. It's just not practical for sanity, personal hygiene, eating well or keeping the house to a functional level of tidiness. There has to be a balance between hypothetical best practice and what actually works in the real world.

BackforGood · 24/06/2020 01:25

but all the standard sleep routines suggest baby sleeps 7-7

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

lyralalala · 24/06/2020 01:26

@ShirleyPhallus

Another town house person here...! My son slept in our room on the top floor with us for the first six months. I put him into his cot bed at 7pm and also had a baby monitor rigged up - not sure why you wouldn’t be able to do this or is it a lack of space?

We could, but I feel uncomfortable about it as then she’s 2 floors away from us for that many hours, and it goes against the NHS advice. If we were in a flat I’d feel much more comfortable about her just being next door.

Interesting that so many put babies to “bed” then just transfer them upstairs. We have no Moses basket but a sleepyhead so I might try that. Do people do the bedtime routine still at 7pm then baby sleeps downstairs or did you not introduce that until later?

I’ve always done bedtime routine if we had one. When they’re that wee they don’t know if they’re in their bedroom or the living room.
lyralalala · 24/06/2020 01:28

Also very few babies in my experience sleep 7-7 so don’t get too disheartened if they don’t.

And if 8-8 works better for you and the baby then do that. That didn’t occur to me with one of mine until my nana pointed it out Blush

RainbowMum11 · 24/06/2020 01:51

I kept DD downstairs in her pram top/carry cot then took her upstairs when I went to bed and transferred her to the rib next to my bed. The carrycot was also as free for overnight sleeping though.

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