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Working full time with young kids - tips please!!!

10 replies

opalescent · 23/06/2020 19:17

Does anyone here work full time Mon-Fri and have young primary age and/or pre-schoolers?

Just wondering if anyone can offer reassurance, or share advice/tips for staying on top of everything?
I currently work 30ish hours, meaning that there is flexibility in my week to do some school drop offs and pick ups for my 7 year old, and also means my 3 year old doesn’t have to be in full-time childcare currently.
I have accepted a job that is full time, because it is a great opportunity, big career step, and much better pay.... My 7 year old will need to do breakfast club and after school club every day. And my 3 year old will need to be in childcare full time. I know they are going to be knackered, and I feel awful about it, especially as this is my 3 year olds last year before starting school 😟

My husband also works full time, but in a school, so there is no real flexibility in his hours.

I feel so guilty about my kids and worried about how I’ll get everything done. House work/kids reading/exercise/ down time..

I suppose I’m looking for (hoping for) some positive stories from people who do similar and find it okay.
Apologies if any of this sounds a bit precious😖

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Chottie · 23/06/2020 19:23

My DD works full time with two DC (one nursery and one reception).

Her tips would be:
*Wash all uniforms on Friday evening and then put on separate hangers already for the following week.
*Prep an 'easy' meal on Sunday evening to make Monday evening easier.
*No matter how tired you are in the evening, get all school and nursery bags, coats and shoes ready for the next day and by the front door.

TooManyDaves250 · 23/06/2020 19:31

I do! Work full time with a 3 and 6 year old... it's completely do-able! Sign them up for school dinners so you don't have to cook a proper meal at night, wash and get everything ready for the week on a Sunday (although I'm rubbish at this!), cleaner if you care that much or just much lower standards! Grin

user1493413286 · 23/06/2020 19:32

Being organised is the only way I managed - getting shopping delivered (obviously if possible with how things are), meal plan for the week ahead, do a load of washing every day to keep on top of it all, get clothes out ready for either the week ahead (really helped with my toddler) and for yourself, make sure you keep the odd weekend free so you can rest; I used to actively plan a weekend at home and tell people we were busy. Also make sure your DH is aware that he’ll need to do more now. Use your lunch breaks as much as you can either to get stuff you need or order online.
Also if you can get a cleaner; even every other week or month will give you so much time back.
I’m not going to pretend it’s easy but it’s doable.

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SueEllenMishke · 23/06/2020 19:34

Yep. We both do.
I have more flexibility but that doesn't mean I do everything. DH picks up more of the slack on a weekend as I do more in the week.
My tips are:
Work as a team
Get a cleaner
Online shopping
Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect.

DelurkingAJ · 23/06/2020 19:40

We do and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My tips:

  • pay through the nose for amazing childcare, don’t scrimp;
  • online shopping in you lunch break;
  • cleaner if you can afford one, even if this means lowering your standards you will avoid becoming a health hazard;
  • DC help, eg my DSs (7 and 4) will help change their beds. DS1 can strip his effectively but needs help making it, DS2 mainly just carries the laundry to the basket;
  • you’ll want a tumble drier if you don’t already have one;
  • see if the DC can eat at childcare during the week;
  • outsource everything you can and then have a full relaxed weekend;
  • start a present and card stash for birthday parties (I recommend buying small Lego sets when on offer);
  • we do reading the moment DS1 walks in the house (6pm), leaving time for him to have a snack and a bit of down time before bath , stories and bed;
  • when you need to get something for school in three weeks time don’t think ‘I’ll do that at the weekend’, order is from Amazon the night you get the letter;
  • book holiday for Xmas shows etc but take turns, you don’t both need to be there!
  • bath time’s a great time to chat with DC. I like to split the boys up so I get to talk to each of them.
opalescent · 23/06/2020 19:58

God these are absolutely brilliant tips!!! Thank you all so much 😍😍 I am making a list!

First things I'm going to introduce-

Cleaner ✅
Online food shop ✅

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 24/06/2020 06:27

Also what I’ve always done is when I get home I make sure an hour of that before bedtime is just spent with my DC; I don’t try to do lots of things I just spend it playing or even just sitting on the sofa having a cuddle with them as then I feel I’ve at least had some quality time in each day.

AdriannaP · 24/06/2020 06:58

We both work FT and travel for work (pre COVID)
-definitely cleaner
-share drop offs and pick-ups
-drop standards a bit, I don’t iron for example
-schedule short breaks at work for admin calls eg book hairdressers appointments, etc
-share a calendar with DH and enter key dates: school holidays, inset days

And most importantly, share the load! DH also needs to do his part, you are supporting his career too.

Congratulations on the new role!!

katmarie · 24/06/2020 07:42

My tips,

Get a set of 5 drawers for each child, labelled monday to Friday. On a sunday night put in everything they will need for the week, clothes, pe kit, fancy dress for thursday etc. I set up my work outfits for the week including underwear too, and hang them up in the bathroom ready to go. I also pack ds a nursery bag for the week, with multiple changes of clothes in, rather than having to do it every day.

Keep a calendar on the fridge/set up a shared calendar app with your dh. Put every single thing on it. If it's not on the calendar, it doesn't exist. Make sure everyone in the house understands this, and if they are old enough, make them responsible for adding their own things.

Batch cook, if you're making spag bol for example, do double or triple the amount. Freeze leftovers.

Meal plan and online shop accordingly. If you're doing packed lunches for the kids, include those in your meal planning. We use amazon subscriptions for a lot of stuff, particularly bulky things like toilet paper, it comes every month, or however often you set the order for. One less thing to think about. If you're planning to do online shopping frequently, consider a delivery pass to save money, or see whether a click and collect for one of you to pick up on the way home from work would help.

When meal planning, we try and do a mix of freezer meals and batch cooks, so we're not having to cook from scratch every night, and we're continually replenishing the freezer.

Invest in a large capacity washing machine and tumble dryer. Larger the capacity, fewer loads to do. Also if it has a delay function you can set it to come on at for example, 5am, so clothes are washed/ dry just as you get up. Fold clothes straight out of the dryer. The vast majority will not need ironing. I also have a hand held clothes steamer which is quicker and easier than ironing when I do need to get creases out. I try and do a big wash friday evening, shove it in the dryer overnight and fold saturday morning.

Get kids to help as much as possible, and create routines with them, for example putting clothes away ready for the coming week, clearing out school bags on friday, repacking on sunday ready for the week. Help them to take some responsibility, for example one empties the dishwasher after school, the other feeds the dog (age appropriate of course).

Your partner needs to step up too, a lot of this is mental load stuff, and theres no reason it has to be you who does it all. Be careful to make some time for you, otherwise it can be exhausting. If you can afford a cleaner, definitely get one.

Finally, routines dont have to be set in stone, and the first couple of weeks full time will be challenging. Make time to sit down with your partner, after a couple of weeks and work through what is going well and what needs changing. Share the load as much as possible.

katmarie · 24/06/2020 07:43

Oh my god, there were paragraphs in that I swear.

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