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Child contact and shift work

2 replies

navteexo · 22/06/2020 17:29

Hi, I'm in the process of getting a divorce. I was just wondering what happens in a situation where one parent works shifts and the other is always off on weekends..

Son's dad is from another country, got granted a spouse visa last year. So since he came here we have been meeting up so they can spend time and build a bond
However ex's jobs changed and he works monday to friday now

Ive dropped our son to childminders and told ex to pick him up so he can spend time with him during weekend..he was screaming and crying, wouldnt eat or have his water or milk..and got a call from his dad to say i need to get him asap because he isnt comfortable. That was a mistake on my part, i just didnt want to keep him away from his son just because of my working schedule..

So basically our son wont be around his dad unless im there right next to him. He is 2 and doesnt speak or understand language unless its simple stuff, so i cant even.explain that ill be back in an hour. And because of the working schedules, it means i can only take him there when his dads off aswell..which is making it even harder for them to build a bond. Its so upsetting.

So since i filed for a divorce, he has suddenly changed. Hes threatening to take me to court because i cant take weekends off. I called in sick twice on a weekend previously because he said if i dont, he will take legal action against me because im keeping his son from him. (I was going through severe depression so i somehow believed he was allowed to say stuff like that to me)

Anyways, now hes saying to me 'the judge will give you set days i.e saturday or sunday, and you will have to take those days off to show me our son' .. can the judge force employers to allow employees to take time off to sort out child arrangements?! And if not, what happens?

We video call every single day. I want his dad to be in his life, but with my shift pattern i cant always promise to do weekends as im not always off on them

Im so worried

OP posts:
justchecking1 · 22/06/2020 21:12

The judge won't force you to give up work. If you persevere your son will get used to his dad. Try doing evenings (that are convenient to you). It'll show you how committed his dad is if he has to put himself out

HyperStella · 23/06/2020 02:17

Fully agree with justchecking1. The dad sounds like a controlling arsehole

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