Summer born DD gap seems to have widened

[User24689]

Hi all. My DD is a mid August birthday. Academically I feel she is doing pretty well, though it is hard to have a good frame of reference.

She knows her phase 3 sounds and can read the songbirds stage 2 books without too much trouble.

She can count to 20 and say one more/ less than a number. Can do number bonds to 5 but needs her fingers.

Can form all letter and numbers but they are different sizes and a few are backwards.

I felt like this was ok and I have tried really hard with the homeschooling. However she has gone back to reception and I have noticed that firstly her writing seems way behind other children (they are putting whiteboards up at the end of the day in the classroom window so you can see all the children's work side by side) most other children are writing in uniform sizes and it is completely legible whereas if done independently I have to get DD to tell me what most words she has written say. Some of the children are also adding 2 digit numbers.

But my main concern really is that she suddenly seems SO much younger. She is in a bubble with 4 girls and 4 boys. The 3 other girls are all September and October born and are noticeably more mature than she is. They confidently speak to adults, like me, at the door, while DD swings on my arm and has to be reminded to say hello to people. They are all having playdates together and she has not been invited which wouldn't matter but they talk about these playdates most mornings in the line and what they are going to do at the next one etc and she looks so left out. She talks about them like they are her best friends but doesn't seem to have noticed she is just hanging on to their group. I have invited a couple of the girls over and have had vague 'that would be lovely but not this week' type responses and I get on with the mums well so wonder if their daughters are not keen.

She is so so gorgeous and kind and friendly and I'm feeling sad for her and worried that year one will be even harder. It was great up to this point but seems to have changed over lockdown and now im wondering if I did the right thing in deciding to send her last year and not apply to hold her back 😔

Have any other parents of summer borns experienced this social gap, or teachers noticed it?

I actually tried to post this in primary education sorry! Mnhq can move if needed?

Try not to worry about it. My dd birthday is end of July, and she has also just gone back to reception. Before schools shut she was doing really well at school, but during lockdown she has regressed massively. She is struggling with sounds and blending, and her writing is a lot worse than it once was. The main thing that seems to have gone is her confidence in her own ability. During lockdown we have done very little school work with her, partly due to her reluctance and partly due to the fact that DH and I are still working full time and simply haven’t had the time.
However, I refuse to stress about it. She is only 4 and in many countries she would have started school yet. She is happy being back at school, and am sure she will catch up .

Sorry hadn’t read the full post and seen about the social issues. Fortunately I haven’t seen a social gap with my Dd, but she is in a bubble of 12 with a large variety of birth dates. If she is happy though I’d try not to worry about it. When things get back to normal and she is in her full class there will be a larger range of people for her to play with. Have you spoken to the teacher to ask how she is getting on socially at break time:play time? The play dates may be happening more because the parents are friends, rather than anything else.

It takes time for their hands and heads to mature. They are a quarter of her life older! As one with a dd born in Dec and one born in Aug, it's a huge difference and will take until they are at least 8 or 9 to narrow, but actually my youngest has got much more out of school life, because she has been at the right stage. My older in the year was always frustrated and wanted to be with the older ones and onto the next thing! Xx

Thanks for the replies and sorry for the delay in responding, one of those weeks!

Thanks so much everyone for your experiences. I feel ok about the academic side of things Actually. I spoke to the teacher and she is not concerned. I know there is time to catch up. I was more concerned about the social side of it because I feel like that directly impacts her happiness at school whereas she has no real sense of the expectations academically and we don't put pressure on her.

I think I will just see how she goes over the next few weeks and if she continues to be happy to go in I'll not worry about it until September.