I've been asking myself this question since we went into Lockdown.
I didn't feel very happy before, then when life got turned upside down I was devastated and longed for everything to be back to normal. But I don't really know what it was I really missed.
Now things are getting back to normal and I'm still none the wiser really.
On paper I enjoy my job - I'm good at it and it is rewarding but also, the day to day feels like a grind. It's hard work and tiring. Before Lockdown I had started to get upset by situations at work and didn't really enjoy it any more (I'm a teacher).
I have 2 young kids who'll turn 4 and 2 later this summer. They make me laugh and bring me so much joy - but also I feel like the main thing that I hated about Lockdown was never getting a break from them. I love them so much but also parenting them is so relentless.
My husband is lovely, we get on well, we are a good team. We've been together for 15 years. There is nothing wrong with our relationship - far from it - but I occasionally feel like... Is this it?
Life feels full of work I don't really enjoy, housework, breaking up fights between kids, playing mind numbing games where I have to pretend to be a dragon or whatever, then sitting in front of the TV.
On one hand, I think maybe I need a hobby or something to get some pleasure from. But then I also feel this is a bit deeper than taking up yoga or chess. I daydream about a different life where its just me, some interesting work and the freedom to have the buzz of new relationships. I know the reality of that would be very different. I'm just not sure what the answer is.
Can anyone relate?