Weird response from bloke I've been seeing

[meallthetime]

I've been seeing a bloke for a while. We've got fairly close and he's started to show signs of being committed / attached.

Anyway, we had quite a deep conversation and afterwards it was a lighter tone.

I messaged him goodnight and he replied and said he's on a training course all day tomorrow so if he doesn't reply to any messages that's why.

Then 15 minutes later he adds 'and if I don't reply to you on Sunday it's because I don't give a damn ' (well he used the crying laughing emoji but I can't find that on here).

So I guess he's saying he really doesn't give a damn about me so I just ignore this?

It definitely sounds like a joke to me and if he was otherwise attentive then I'd say to ignore it.

However, given that he sometimes ignores you, the joke is a bit too close for comfort isn't it.

I would send a lighthearted reply and then let him initiate any contact over the weekend to see how much effort he makes and gauge him from there.

Have you previously suggested to him that you think he doesn't care when he doesn't message you?

Thank you.

I don't know if this has any bearing on matters but he is 65.

We've discussed contact etc, I know he is not a WhatsApp native. He's told me he values any and all contact with me.

But then will ghost me randomly (usually at weekends).

Surprised he's 65.

It's a joke though, if you want to respond just make it jokey!

Is he married and seeing his wife and kids at the weekend?

Does he message more during the day than in the evenings? i mean, could he be married?

Have you asked him why he ghosts you at the weekend and what was his answer?!

I would interpret the first thing as a joke but I think your bigger problem is that he sounds like a massive arse with the ghosting you at weekends. Why would you tolerate this? Surely you know you’re worth treating better than this?

His “I value any contact with you” doesn’t fit with what he actually does.

I don’t think it’s going anywhere, OP.

I disagree with everyone else, I don't see that message as a joke and I'd be quite confused and hurt if someone sent me that. Perhaps if it had a winking face after it it'd have been more obviously a joke.

Your updates do make it sound as if he's not worth your time though.

Originally I would have said it was a joke. It's the kind of thing DH and I would say to each other

However, regularly giving you the silent treatment at weekends changes it.

How well do you know his life? Have you met any of his family or friends? Do you meet in public near his home or is it always away from where he lives?

I know that he is widowed (and have a friend who knew his wife) so I'm confident that he's not otherwise involved.

He just blows hot and cold endlessly. Or seems to. It's like he's put himself out by saying if he doesn't reply there's a reason but then has to be withdraw it and say he doesn't give a damn anyway

He's 65???? Sweet jesus there is no hope, they never change.

I would have thought a joke reading ypu first post. Then hearing about this ghosting, I think you should give him a bit of his own medicine & see how he likes it when you are unavailable to reply when he is messaging. See if he notices & comments. Have a discusision. If ye can't resolve & it is continuing to trouble you, then you have to decide if you can stay in a relationshio where you are insecure & trying to figure his feelings out everytime he doesn't reply to you. That's not worth the emotional energy. Either trust him that hd is busy & doesn't need constant contact or you don't & then you should act on it.

Sorry spelling mistakes..it is early & only one eye open.

Is there an age gap between you or are you 65 as well?

Who has time for that bullshit?!? Find someone who actually wants to talk to you and doesn't play games op. Id just ghost him in return now.

Have you asked him why he ghosts you or commented on it at all. His messages are really weird in the context of his actions.
If he was a good partner it would be a joke but I don't think it's funny in the circumstances.
How do you feel about not responding?

The text is fine - it's a joke, albeit not a very funny one.

The blowing hot and cold thing is not fine.

A course? Most training isn't on at the moment so what's he actually doing all day?
As Sunday is fathers day isn't it more likely his lack of contact is around that?

Personally I'd leave him too it.... Let the relationship fizzle out..

65 and he’s on a training course on a Saturday?

I’m curious what he does for a living.

Forget the comment that was a joke

The issues is he often ignores you. Why is they good enough for you is he that amazing to cling on to

The ‘I don’t give a damn’ is a joke - and a perfectly acceptable one. He gave you an explanation as to why he wouldn’t reply on Saturday and saying that he will be able to reply on Sunday as usual.

The ghosting is not ok at all.

When women are younger, men in their age bracket outnumber them slightly, but after 60+ it starts to be the other way round.

Maybe he has a weekend lady/ladies in his life.

Is he “committed” to you? Nah, probably not.

He tried to make a joke that fell on it's arse, I'd just ignore it this once.