Social worker seems to be on abusive ex's side

[Luciferthethird]

I honestly don't think I'll be able to sleep until I get this off my chest.
So last week a pretty terrible accident happened to my child but they came out with minor injuries nothing that won't heal in a few weeks It's possibly outting if anyone I know is on here, so I'm trying not to say much my DD is 5.

An ambulance was rang, I rang my mother to watch my other child after this my phone died. So I didn't contact my ex partner until a few hours later I was in a state of distress and I honestly didn't want to involve my reactive ex partner. Because of the nature of the accident and my child's learning disabilities social services were involved.
It's hard to explain without a long back story and I really don't want to drip feed, but my ex really kicked off that I didn't contact him sooner, I get that and I explained I had no battery and that I let him know when I could. The social worker did a home visit and she absolutely tore into me not about the accident but that I hadn't contacted the ex, I don't think how much I contact my abusive ex has anything to do with the social worker but she seems very biased and to be taking his side in all this, this has now caused him to cause quite a lot of drama about me "not contacting him enough about the kids" I tell him things when I know them.
Excuse my sleepy ranting but I don't know what to do I don't like talking to my ex but I do it for the kids and to be quite frank it used to make my life easier but now I can't put up with him I don't want any contact with him but I don't know what to do. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense but thank you if you managed to get to the end.

It's very hard to say with such little detail tbh. I hope you and your DC are both ok

Yes, I suppose it's difficult there's such a long back story. But I just feel like it didn't matter what I did in the situation I was in my ex would of found fault in it and now that he feels that he has the social worker on his side about my "lack of communication" it's another way for him to punish me so to speak I'd really like a new Social Worker but the one dealing with my case seems to be the manager due to b my original social working bring sick.

Sorry to your child had an accident that must have been such a scary time for you.
Do you have a social worker in general or did the hospital send one ?
This might make a difference to how they view your ex they may not know the full background etc.
They usually take a quite a firm stance with not contacting an abusive ex and like to see that you are keeping yourself and child away from them so it must be very confusing than they are going against this.
But agree with the previous poster that without more background it's hard to know

Are you sure the social worker knows about the history of abuse?
A lot of kids are having accidents, absconding due to being so stir crazy and mums being so tired. My boys both have special needs and in the last few weeks the two year old escaped the garden one day and almost set the cooker on fire on another day. I'm just too burned out, so I made stupid mistakes. No use beating myself up about it. There wasn't any way I could've been coping better. I expect it's similar for you!
I'd make a point of mentioning coercive control and being undermined as a parent by your ex and how that's affecting your attachment. He sounds a lot like my ex. Doesn't bother to try so he doesn't risk failing, but likes to have a dig when others make an effort but make a mistake. Be kind to yourself and not waste energy to thinking of this vampire when you next get a chance for some me time! X

I don't know about mentioning coercive control as that makes it sound like you deliberately didn't contact him, whereas it is perfectly understandable that you couldn't contact him. Sod's law that batteries always run down when we most need our phone.

If he has parental rights, he has every right to be angry at not being told especially given the incident seems to have sparked social work involvement. If I couldn’t contact him I’d have asked the hospital to do it - how long was it before he knew and she he find because social work told him, for example.

It’ll concern your social worker because they will need to assess whether you were/are hiding something about the accident that might put your child at risk. It’s usual to inform someone when their child is injured and as part of a much wider assessment they’ll want to understand why he wasn’t contacted - which is wholly separate from whatever’s going on with your ex.