Ex husband's new girlfriend and her rules

[JustOneLastThing]

Ex-h and I usually get on well, he has a new partner and so do I. I rang him to ask him something about our son, and later on that day he came to my door (to collect something) and asked me to not call him as she thinks we are going to get back together! (very fucking unlikely).
This couldn't be further from the truth. I have been asked to text him only and never to call him. I usually call to speak to my son and also once a day (usually the same phone call) to see how DS (8) has been. This was all part of the parenting plan which up until now has worked well.
To me, she seems insecure and a bit controlling, but I am also aware that we are fairly recently divorced and perhaps have been a bit naive that we could get on and co-parent seamlessly
Any thoughts mnetters?

I didn't mean to keep but so that it is the one he is handed for calls.

I wonder if he’s had to end calls with her to answer you? If they are ldr and also talk daily

If my child was away from me for half the week I'd phone whenever I bloody well wanted. I certainly wouldn't be letting his insecure partner dictate how I contacted my own child. I would get my son a phone though.

A ldr? How does she even know you’re calling him?

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously But you could talk to your child every day without speaking to your ex, apart from an exchange of pleasantries when ex answers the phone and puts the child on.

Update-he has apologised! Checks for flying pigs and says he is aware that his girlfriend has some trust issues from her past. I sense trouble brewing though

Oh op, i havent read through the whole thread
But i had this, myself and ex H co-parent 50/50, we split as friends. Would meet for drinks to discuss DS, parents evenings together etc.
When he moved in with his partner it all changed, he changed, shes always been paranoid about us and insanely jealous of me.
Its really soured the relationships between my ex H and I, rules crept in about his contact with me and have continued and got worse.
She even told my partner that she was worried I wanted ex back (I certainly do not)
This kind of thing gets worse in my experience, especially with 50/50 care, please dont let her take hold. Stick to your guns.
I wish i had been more vocal, harder and stood up for myself, her toxic ways have drawn a huge wedge between us all, and my DC suffers for it.
Dont become me.

You've only got his word for this.

I'd keep calling. Especially if he doesn't answer his texts quickly.

I would be really clear with your ex.

Get up to what you like, but I have to step in when your girlfriends toxic behaviour starts affecting DS, everything has worked fine upto now, why should DS suffer to make your girlfriend feel more secure?

Just get your DS a phone and call him direct. Problem solved.

He’s sharing a slightly inappropriate amount about his gf with you (not your problem obv!) if I were here that’s what I’d be more upset about.

Sounds like you dealt with it perfectly

I'm glad he apologized. Possibly saying it out loud made him realise how unreasonable it sounds.
Keep an eye on things though in case any of their relationship issues affect your child.

Consider buying something like a Spacetalk phone/watch for your son? They are designed for his age group, with safety the priority (no internet). You and Ex can be the only contacts in his address book (child can’t add people). It’s great for goodnight texts and such.

It’s given our 9yo lots of extra independence, and me lots of reassurance.

I don't think a daily call is necessary tbh. Your child is 8. Buy him a phone of his own. That's what I did when exH and I split, my youngest got a phone earlier than she would have done so she can keep in touch with either parent when she's with the other. ExH and I are amicable but I wouldn't want to give or recieve a daily call from him. There can't be that much going on that the other parent needs a daily update.