How important is breastfeeding?

[badboobs]

I won't be able to breast feed.

Please tell me honestly, how bad will it be for my babies health / bond with me?

I can only tell you my own experience

3 very healthy grown up sons. Strong, slim, athletic and I seriously cant even think of the last time any of them visited the doctor.

All 3 formula fed.

I've FF one, extended BF another and tube fed my 3rd.

You'll be fine @badboobs and your baby will be fine.

Don't feel guilty or shit. We have enough guilt at mothers already!

I couldn't BF my 4 year old and we have a very close bond. I don't believe for one second it would have been closer had I been able to BF. Of my group of mum friends there's a 50/50 mix of BF and FF and I don't think there's any difference on bond at all. Or health for that matter.

Not ‘bad’ at all. Research shows that breastmilk has benefits that formula can’t replicate - but that doesn’t mean it’s ‘bad for their health’ to not have it. Formula is a great invention on which babies thrive very well. And you can bond with your baby just as well by cuddling and making eye contact while bottle feeding.

I bf my first baby until she was nearly 2 and was 5 months pregnant with my second. I took it for granted that I would be able to feed baby no2 and it didn’t work out for us. I can honestly say that the bond with my second baby has developed just as well, if not better at this stage (he’s 4 months) and he is formula fed.

The “milk” phase of your baby’s life is actually such a tiny part of their life. Within a year of being born s/he will likely be eating roast potatoes and gravy. I really hate the way it’s become so I a loaded issue. Do or don’t breastfeed - it honestly don’t think it really matters.

Beastfeeding makes a significant difference at the population level (hence why governments want to support it) but at the individual level any additional benefit is likely to be very small. There is zero evidence that it will make any difference to the bond with your baby. The most important thing in determining the bond is having a happy and relaxed mum.

I switched to formula at 4 weeks with DC1 and 8 weeks with DC2. Both had poor weight gain until they were on formula. Both have thrived, I think I probably bonded with them better once they were on FF as I enjoyed them much more. The poor weight gain just made me feel inadequate when all the babies around me were piling on the weight, which was detrimental to my MH.

DCs are 4 and 16 months now and doing well in very different ways. As pp have said the health benefits on an individual level are marginal.

You will be fine and may have the benefit of sharing feeds which is helpful I bonded more when i stopped bf

You'll be fine there are many advantages for FF DW was pushed to the edge of PND with BF changed to formulas the difference was night and day .
2nd was formula straight away she bonded and enjoyed thoses early weeks
both kids fine and healthy

The latest research suggests breastfeeding lengthens telomeres (the part of the chromosomes that make cells and therefore people live longer). Other things like eating well, maintaining a normal bmi, and exercise can also do that but bf is basically starting the baby off on that path. If you can pump or have access to a hospital /regulated milk bank then definitely use them at least initially.

Didn't breast feed either of my girls. They still love me, and I them.

I honestly don't think how you feed your baby has anything to do with bonding, or attachment. What matters is being responsive to your baby's needs, loving them, cuddling them, making them feel safe and secure in your arms. Chatting to them, smiling at them, delighting in them (yes I also know that sometimes they are little buggers and you want to throw them out of the window!) - these are the things that matter.

Yes, breastmilk is better than formula. There's so much to it that formula can't replicate. But that does NOT mean that formula is bad! Many, many babies thrive on it. Thank goodness we have formula as without it many babies would have died. If you can't breastfeed, you can't breastfeed. Your baby will be absolutely fine on formula. So please don't worry about it, or beat yourself up about it. Just enjoy your baby and the delightful person they will become, however they are fed.

What everybody else has said: health benefits are on a population level, not on an individual level. My eldest wasn't able to suckle efficiently: though I breastfed determinedly, I now really doubt if that was the best option healthwise, at least for the first few months of her life. With hindsight, if I'd known then what I know now, I would have opted for the best solution for her, not for the population at large.

And no, don't believe it makes any difference to bonding.

Breastfeeding is not important. If you think about your work, can you tell who was breastfed and who wasn't?

im still bf my 2yo , and I've to say his bonding is so much better with his dad over mine... so even if bf has got it's benefits I think also bonding will be worked by spending time and caring for your child

Health benefits for mum and baby, possibly. Bonding, no. Skin to skin and eye contact, talking etc is more important. Otherwise how would Dads and grandparents bond?

A significant proportion of the population were FF and they are asolutley fine. If you look at all the adults in the world, test their intelligence and study their relationships, I doubt you could tell which were B and which were FF.

Last January I wondered this, and now DS is 17 months it doesn't matter a jot I had trouble establishing breastfeeding and our bond is so strong. I held him for 8 months solid, and the fact I didn't BF means my DH can deal with dinner to bed time all on his own while I pop out.

Now I think it's a blessing. It used to make me feel suicidal

I agree with the above. I BF and it can be soul destroying. Having a baby who becomes inconsolable to the point of pain because their Dad has to be with them is not talked about a lot in the happy fanatic BF Circles.

I would focus more on how you plan to tackle solids. A good diet through life is more important.
You'd be surprised how many people I've seen who are obsessed with BF and have managed to BF to 4/5 and yet their kid lives on processed crap.

There is no one singular thing that will make your kid a healthy and happy individual. It's important to look at the big picture.

I fought tooth and nail to breastfeed and spent an absolute fortune on lactation consultants, hospital grade pumps, supplements etc. My supply just never was quite enough and I felt it was a constant battle. I eventually stopped at almost five months as I was literally losing my mind and not enjoying my baby at all. It was a huge source of stress and I regret not switching to formula sooner.

If I were lucky enough to have a second baby, I'd try BF again, but move to formula faster if I felt it wasn't working. I bonded much better with DD when I felt happy and less stressed.

I breastfed my now 3yr old for 9 months. It wasnt easy but I loved it when it worked. We are really close. I doubt that breastfeeding her had anything to do with our closeness. Skin to skin and simply spending time in close contact when she was little, and playing with her lots now, has everything to do with our bond. Please don't unduly stress yourself out over something which you may not have any control.