Is it still considered wrong to look in someone’s handbag?

[Preoilai]

Totally pointless, and rather boring, question! But I was thinking earlier about how I was brought up to believe looking through someone’s handbag was almost sacrilegious! Bit like reading someone’s diary. Is that still the case? Would you mind if someone looked in yours?

I personally would never go into anyone else’s handbag (or rucksack, or any other type of bag), I just find it rude and rarely is it actually necessary. I will pass a bag, sure, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable actually going into it.

Yes I think so although try telling that to my cats who tipped over my line managers handbag and had a good old rifle through when she visited me at home once

Yes, it's definitely wrong unless you are invited to have a rummage. Think of all the things that might be unearthed. Mooncups, half a flapjack from last week, receipt from Ann Summers, doctor's letter about your chronic flatulence...

My husband is a bit more relaxed at the moment as my bag is more often than not the changing bag and obviously he needs to go in that since he is also parenting.

But on the whole I don't mind him going into my bag, everyone else I would expect them to just double check with me first just like I'd double check before touching any of their bags. I'd pretty much always say yes, there's never anything secret in my bag! I'd go into my mum's or my nan's bag with their knowledge to hand them something but anyone else I'd probably just hand the whole bag over.

You've just reminded me that my DM always had her handbag at her side - ALWAYS. Watching the tv, cooking in the kitchen, wherever she was her handbag was always there. It was sacrosanct. No one was allowed to even touch it.

She's in her 70s now and although I've not seen her since last year, I can't even recall seeing her with a handbag in recent memory!

I can't imagine it being OK to look through anyone's personal bag or luggage without an invitation - it sounds a bizarre thing to do. It might be OK for a communal bag such as a beach bag or picnic basket, but I can't think of any other 'open bag' situation.

V rude indeed, unless you’re asked to look for something or (in the case of immediate family) you ask first.

Barring DC from raking through my bags, eg for drinks/ tissues / snacks/whatever was a big positive step back to civilised living for me!

They are also completely banned from my mobile phone, have seen way too many parents with smashed screens!

I'd find it rude and would also rather hand someone their bag than take anything from it, even with permission from friends/family.

It doesn't bother me - DP and DS will go in for something they need. I wouldn't want anyone I didn't know going in there obviously, just because of security of cards etc. I have never understood the whole "it's rude to look in someone's bag though" - it's just a collection of things. If my purse and umbrella and keys were on the table it would be no different as someone could just pick them up.

Yes because mine is always full of rubbish and scruffy make up and I’d be embarrassed.

If I’ve asked DH to get me my purse, he’ll go in my handbag. But if my purse isn’t at the top, he won’t rummage. More because he’s scared of what is in there. I would have no problem family, friends going in there if I’ve said “oh your card is in my handbag”.

However, for most people I wouldn’t inflict the contents of my handbag on them... poo bags, dog treats, crumbs from snacks (I don’t have kids so these are my snacks), quite possibly an old forgotten apple (I’ve not used my handbag for 3 months so this could be a possibility when I when use my handbag again 🤢), tissues, my little bag of sanitary towels and tampons, random post-it notes, shopping lists, 50 million receipts, maybe some tweezers, about 20 pens, makeup, old paracetamol packets with a tablet partially out of the packet and slightly disintegrated. I’m too ashamed of the state of my handbag to inflict that on even my closest family and friends! It’s a defence for anyone who wants to steal my handbag, they have to sift through the disgusting contents if they want my purse .

My kids are trained to ask before going into my handbag which sits right with me. If I need to see something in their bag then I bring the whole bag and ask them to get it out.

Yes it is rude. My bag is my bag with my possessions in it and I don't want anyone having a nose in it. There is no reason unless I am unconscious after an accident or dead and that's only to identify me.

Any other reason, get your sticky paws off my bag.

Highly unlikely there would be anything secret or particularly private in my bag, but I still wouldn’t want anyone looking in there without express permission.

I can think of the odd scenario where I might tell my husband/friend/sister ‘yeah they’re just in my bag grab them’ if they were asking for something and I was otherwise occupied. Although more often I’d ask them to pass me my bag in that case as I’m more likely to be able to locate the phone/keys/tissue amongst the other random crap (not guaranteed though!)

But short of that I can’t imagine why anyone would need to go looking, it’s just a real invasion of privacy. I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and start poking through their cupboards, I wouldn’t get a lift from a colleague and start pulling out items from the glove box and I wouldn’t pick up my friend’s phone and start scrolling through. So why would I need to stick my nose in someone else’s handbag without being specifically directed to in order to get something.

Definitely rude, and I’d never go in someone’s bag unless specifically asked to. That’s not just women’s handbags though, I wouldn’t have a rummage through men’s rucksacks either.

Actually, I think it’s true of enclosed spaces more generally. Drawers in someone’s home, a glove compartment in the car etc. Tbh, I’m not even keen on checking a desk drawer for whiteboard markers unless I’m in my own classroom.

Nope, I'd be very angry if somebody went into my handbag. I'd feel quite violated, to be honest. It's the lack of boundaries that I'd resent, it's not because there's anything particularly private in it

Exactly this, I'm glad to read this because my husband thinks it's just me.

I went to buy something on Gumtree last year which was about an hour away. I got a call from him half way there, saying I had 'forgotten' my purse. What he meant was, he had taken it out to get some coins for parking or something (We share finances) and hadn't put it back.

We had words. Big ones. I think he finally got it after he'd suggested I should have checked my purse was in my bag (where I left it) before I'd left the house.

He doesn't do it now.

I don't have one but I don't think I'd ave any issue with someone going in it if I did! I did carry one when I used to actually leave the house to go to work but it never had anything massively personal in it, just purse, book, keys, travelcard.

Definitely rude, I wouldn’t dream of going in someone’s bag without permission. It’s private and may contain things they don’t want others to know about.

Of course! Unless you specifically say they can. Handbags are private imo

I think it’s really rude unless you’ve been specifically asked to get something from the handbag.

The only exception I can think of would be if I was unconscious following an accident and someone needed to identify me.

Of course it is!

It wouldn't bother me if it was somebody at home but if a work colleague did it then I'd be pretty annoyed with them.

It's rude.

A handbag is private. I would never dream of looking in someone's bag, if they ask for something I would bring them the handbag so they can take it out themselves.

The only people who go through my bag are security at the airport!

I hate it.

A few years ago I was pulled aside by Gatwick security and was told they would be taking everything out of my handbag for a security check. They then took my passport out of my sight for a while. It was awful and I felt like some kind of criminal. I found out afterwards that it was a blitz of some kind and they were choosing people at random but nothing was explained and it really felt like an invasion of my privacy.