Hi all. Sorry if this is a bit of an essay.
DS is 2y9m. He is a lovely, happy, fun little boy who is (most of the time!) a delight to be around. He was a little late to talk but soon after his second birthday his speech really took off and is now really good. He can recognise all numbers and letters of the alphabet and count to 20. He loves reading and has an amazing memory for books/ kids films and remembers whole passages from them. He plays well independently and is very affectionate but a bit clingy to me and cautious in new situations.
My concern is this- it is sometimes (often!) very hard to get his full attention and get him to focus on instructions or even answer a question. His hearing is fine (tested in past), it’s more that he just seems to tune us out a lot of time and when engaged in playing he will sometimes ignore what we say/ ask and has to be asked repeatedly. He’s fine at concentrating once engaged in a task but it’s like he’s in his own little world a lot of the time.
We’re trying to potty train him at the moment and he doesn’t seem to be getting it that easily - he’ll happily sit on the potty when we suggest it but doesn’t seem to have made the connection and often when we ask if he wants to sit on it he just ignores us and continues what he’s doing. Another example is tidying up toys - he has to be asked several times to do this (and other tasks) before he even seems to realise what we’re asking.
His sister is 21 months and there’s a noticeable contrast in terms of focusing on instructions / responding etc. For example the tidying - when asked she will immediately start putting things away. I know all kids are different but it just highlights the difference.
I was thinking it was just a normal toddler and/ or boy thing but my husband said earlier that occasionally he worries that DS’ birth may have affected him somehow. The birth was quite traumatic - DS got stuck and after becoming distressed was delivered by emergency forceps and had to be resuscitated. He wasn’t breathing for a couple of minutes and spent a week on PICU/SCBU while they did a load of tests which all turned out normal. He was discharged with no concerns and there was never any mention of any long term implications.
He’s met all milestones within normal limits and in some way is very intelligent so I don’t think there’s anything wrong intellectually but I am now worried that maybe there’s some problem with his concentration. The HV didn’t have any concerns at his 2 year check but then it’s quite a short /limited assessment.
Am I being ridiculous?! I really hope I am but I suffer from anxiety as it is and DH’s comment has unnerved me. DH isn’t particularly worried and just mentioned it in passing; he reckons we should just keep an eye on it but that he’s probably fine. He said he just sometimes fears the traumatic birth might have had some kind of impact, but that it’s probably unlikely.
Is this living in their own world normal at this age? Anyone got similar experiences?
TIA for any advice!