Will my 16 year old always be grumpy and argumentative or will I get him back?

[Megatron]

Ah, the good old days when his little face always had a smile on it. He'd say 'I love you mummy' all the time and spend hours chatting away and playing with Lego.

If you have a lovely 16 year old boy/girl who is still sparkling company - DO NOT TELL ME.

If you have a 16 year old who slouches around, grunts, whinges like I didn't even know was possible and seems to have forgotten what a vegetable is, never mind eat one - please tell me they get out of it. Tell me I'll get my lovely lad back, albeit he'll be an adult at the time but tales of positivity only please! I remember a few years ago my friend saying something similar and I secretly thought 'well DS won't be like that, because he's adorable'. HA! What an arsehole I was ...

Disclaimer - yes lockdown has been shit but he's been the same for months so this is not new.

OP I have a 15 year old DS who, when he was younger, would follow me around adoringly and lie stroking my hair and face before each nap telling me he loved me so much.

Now he will occasionally emerge from his pit to eat, exchange a few words and then return to his pit. I think every word I say annoys him, every request is an inconvenience and conversation is like pulling teeth.
So while I can’t give you much hope for the future I can empathise

@SteveHarringtonsHair that does make me feel a bit better! He seems to be annoyed by every single thing I say. Though to be fair, he probably isn't the only person like that.

My nearly 13 year old is the same, constantly moaning and rolling her eyes at me every time I speak. She used to be so happy all the time, I miss those days (sigh...) any one know how long this lasts?

Someone told me 'only a few years' @StormyLovesOdd 😦

13 year old DD is still lovely although there have been snapshots of what's to come ...

DS was still such a laid-back placid happy lad at 13. Seems like a very long time ago now and I didn't even know it was possible to roll your eyes as far back into your head as he can.

I clashed a lot with my dd between 14-17 but now she’s nearly 20 she’s lovely company again. They do grow through it and out the other side eventually lol. Got two more to go yet 😭.

Hi I've come to give you hope. My angelic pfb dd1 disagreed with everything I said and tutted at my very existence from age 15 till she went to uni, now she is 22 we are the best of friends again 😀

So ... there's hope? I just asked him if he wanted a drink and I think he actually heard 'would you like some strychnine' judging by his response.

Yes, there's hope. My heart used to break when I would wander into a room she was in and there would be a resentful sigh at my presence. Something happened around a level time and I think leaving home to go to uni made her appreciate home. She actually started ringing me and saying she missed me. Hang in there.

My DS is 18 and back to being his lovely self!

Hang on in there, OP!

In my experience the trick is to encourage them to study or do training in another town or city when they leave school. Not only will they occasionally want to chat but they'll be openly grateful, I repeat, grateful for your cooking.

Hang on in there.

Oh I hope you're all right, I actually feel like I miss him.

Same boat!

15 yr old DS who lives in his bedroom, surfacing only for food, grunts yes/no answers to my questions and only seeks out conversation when the fridge is empty or he wants money for some online gaming nonsense. He’s not actually rude or unpleasant, just totally disinterested in social interaction with his family.

Also have 12 yr old DD, who has morphed, seemingly within weeks, from my little ray of sunshine in to a smart-mouthed back talker.

Both also think it’s completely unreasonable that I ‘force’ dreadful rules on them like, y’kniw, insisting they do actually have to get some sleep at night and can’t stay on the Internet 24/7. I’m sooooo annoying-uhhhh and strict-uhhh. GOD-uhhh!

Give me strength!

It is hands down the worst age. I’d take triplet toddlers over the eye rolling, hating everything, entitled teenage years.

Mine would only talk to me in the car, on the rare occasions we’d go out together.

There is hope- the other side is lovely.

Oh yes - completely empathise OP! Mine is Jekyl and Hyde - sometimes good company and amenable, but mostly he could fight with a feather! He doesn't lift a finger in the house (except grudgingly when cajoled into it) and is surgically attached to the Xbox at every waking moment.

It's the argumentative bit that's really exhausting - he emerges from his room to take the opposite view on everything we say! He usually starts after I've had a full on day at work and I just want to lie down and sleep!

I'd love to know this is just a phase but he was a very difficult baby/toddler so I'm not sure what we'd be going 'back' to

I can recommend boarding school...

Mine was a horrid 14 year old and is now an absolutely lovely 19 year old.

I actually think he could cause an argument in an empty house too. And he's always been really thoughtful but he doesn't seem to consider anything past the end of his own nose now and oh the smart arse answers to everything!

He's still my wee boy in there somewhere and I'll just have to bide my time I suppose.