How often does your ex have the dc?

[AnyNamePlease]

Our situation is that we are separated, ex works FT prob 8am-6pm four days a week plus every other Saturday.
I'm a sahm
3 dc aged 14-7
He has a one bedroom cottage. No abuse/ relationship issues.
How often would you expect him to see or have the dc?

Mine only has DS15 for dinner once a week. They are both happy with that. When DS was younger I would have loved a weekend off but ex couldn't be bothered and DS didn't want to stay away for the night and I didn't want to force things. Ex is nice, just lazy and works stupid hours.

At the moment it’s one week at his, one week at mine due to lockdown working patterns. As and when things shift, so will the access. Before this, it was usually one or two nights a week, depending on what was on, and how everybody was feeling.

We’re quite lucky to be able to do it this way.

I don't know if I'm just being difficult. I know he works long days but at the moment he has the dc for about 8 hours a week and I just feel drained

Every other weekend from 4.30 on Friday and he takes them to school (usually) on the Monday.

Should be every other weekend, and one day on the middle of the week.
But ex prefers to have his spare time to relax, so...

My ex has DS about 4 nights a month. He works shifts including nights so we work around that.

Working long days isn't an excuse not to have the children, many single parents work long days and do all the parenting as well. Especially if he has 3 days off. At the bare minimum he could have the DC overnight once a week.

He's never haven't had them overnight. Not sure how it would work with the one bedroom

Every other weekend

Friday to Sunday every week, and usually sees him two evenings in the week for hobbies, but this isn’t happening at the minute obviously.

Every Friday night from 5pm - 5pm Saturday. We found that worked better than EOW for our kids. He also Facetimes them twice a week.

Also has them for half the holidays. He didn't want any more than that.

Never

Never, he cheerfully signed DS over to be adopted when there was the smallest hint he may be required to pay maintenance

5 hours on a Saturday
Anymore than that and his life is impacted

My ex has ds 9 hours each Sunday plus the occasional weekend and a week at xmas and in the summer.

About 30 nights per year - his choice. He’s too lazy and focused on his own life to do more.

When lockdown happened, he decided it was too risky for him to visit and he didn’t see ds for 10 weeks. Now ds 11 says he doesn’t want to visit his dad at all. It’s so sad. The stupid man is missing out on so much

Two nights per week one weekend and one week day, good balance for the kids and I wouldn’t want any more than that. Haven’t really worked out the holidays yet