School reporting mental heath concern to SS

[Louloud77]

Hi, I’m a single mum to 7 kids (5-17 years) after splitting with my ex, dad to all kids after he physically assault our eldest 4 years ago. Social services have not had involvement for 2 years and were only involved as they wanted to make sure I didn’t get back with my husband as we’d been together 15 years. My 3 youngest have asd and/or adhd and been in school full time since lockdown due to having ehcp’s. I have a history of bipolar (and borderline personality disorder but I never disclosed that diagnosis to them or school just the bipolar). I have been struggling with my mental health since last year but just carried on as us mums do, but it drastically worsened over time and I started feeling suicidal. I contacted gp who said he’d do referral to mental health assessment team and to other support services to help with support with kids. Stupid me informed school as I didn’t want it coming out of the blue and wanted to tell them my side of story first so to speak. Straight away they said they were putting in a referral to early help but instead I got a phone call from social services saying they are assigning a social worker and will be completing an assessment. Feel betrayed to be honest. But the worse thing is I’m scared to actually tell anyone the full truth of what’s going on with me and how I feel, thoughts etc which scare the hell out of me but would never act on them as I’m sure they’d take the kids away. Feel like I should have keep my mouth shut which is making everything seem so much worse now.

They will do an assessment and hopefully find no issues

You have asked for help that is the main thing

You've got a lot on your plate and you need support. The school has had to follow protocol that's all. People want to help you and the children.

School did the right thing. They are thinking about your children’s well-being.

this is tricky.
i can see both sides.
i have no inside knowledge. but it must be hard, on your own with 7 dependant children, esp during lockdown.
what would help you. have a think about that, and see if you can be really specific in asking for what you need when you see S>S.
i know they will prob be assessing you as to mental health and any poss risk to the children.
but obviously you want to continue looking after them. so try to say that the stresses of the situation were getting you down a bit, so you welcome any suggestions they can make to assist.
you have shewn you put the children first, in not tolerating abusive partner in the house. that took resolve, and strength.
is the oldest child able to help with the younger ones.
try to put in place some extra elements of routine for all of them to be involved with household management, through which they will be learning a great deal. and set times for some online research.
imagine the S>S is a bit like a school inspector, have some work to show her, and talk about your aims and goals, and the difficulties you recognise in achieving them.
keep a stout heart. and a clear head. be calm. have a notepad and pen in hand, even if you only write down her name and the date and time.
it looks organised, and helps with nerves, something to grip, twiddle.
if however you honestly do think the children are not or might not be safe with you, then you must tell her that. good luck.