So sad for my kids

[Daisyxxchainxx]

The mess we are all in. The violence going on in London etc. I watched a video in hackney of young men pinning a copper down whilst he's kicked etc. They have been arrested. But BLM has proved the police have no control. Which is an issue when they are being filmed by fearless youths and attacked by gangs. I think the police will start to resign. Why would they want to work in such scary unsafe times? BLM needs to be done in a way that it's powerful and it works. Sadly thugs have got involved. They are letting everyone down! The police and law is getting weaker. What are the streets going to be like in ten years time?

The nastiness going on between teenagers. Bullying is rife. My friends kids being bullied through her phone in lockdown she's 12 years old. Kids at 12 are not bothered about who sees their texts threatening to hurt someone else.

There's suicides every week in my town. Jumping onto the A1... It's all just a mess. I love my kids so much but I feel selfish for putting them Into this world. They have no idea how tough it's going to be. I don't recall any of this when I was at school. We seemed safe (before Facebook, social media and phones)

With the greatest respect OP, you're mixing quite a few issues up here. Unreasonably.

I'd take a step back and unpack each one by one.

Are you generally quite anxious?

Try and decipher anecdotes, sensationalism and fact.

They have no idea how tough it's going to be. I don't recall any of this when I was at school. We seemed safe (before Facebook, social media and phones)

But this will be their normal and they’ll get used to or embrace certain things. It seems bizarre to you in comparison to your childhood but they won’t have that frame of reference. I’m in my early 20s so grew up with all 3 of those, and I don’t feel like my life has been dramatically impacted as a result.

Also bullying, police brutality, violence against police, racism etc was all in existence long before 2020. This is nothing new.

I grew up in the days of IRA bombs, power cuts extreme financial hardships and mass unemployment. We lived in fear of nuclear attacks and global destruction.
When I was a young person at university there were race riots in various places in the country on a regular basis and we were at war in various parts of the world. There was fighting on the streets and police involved in riots then.
We had huge economic downturns and stock market crashes, lived in poverty and dealt with all sorts of stuff.
It has ever been thus I am afraid. But looking back at my childhood I can only remember the joy of life and the fun we had. Children are incredibly resilient and they will get through it. Indeed they will sail through it better than you will because it is normal life to them.
I am not minimising what is going on because it is horrible at the moment but it will pass and things will settle down again so please don't despair. Take it one day at a time and one day sooner than you think you will look back on this time and reflect on what a very strange time it was . Hope you have a good day today and chin up x

To be fair to the op, the news at the moment is horrible and it feels like our kids will grow up in a horrible world.

But then I remember I grew up on a front line Air Force base in Germany in the Cold War. Had world war 3 kicked off we’d have had hardly any notice, we practiced ‘duck and cover’ Drill at school (no idea why, doubt our tables would have helped much against a direct nuclear strike). Tensions were high, and I’m sure my parents wondered what kind of world we would grow up into.... so I think it’s similar.

Although times are tough at present I don’t think our kids will grow up to be any more traumatised than we were.

Flapjack fairy sorry but they were not 'race riots'

There's always been something to worry about.

I was at primary school in the 70s. We had the 3 day week and unpredictable powercuts. It must have been stressful for adults but as a kid it was fun to play board games by candlelight and have picnic teas if the oven wasn't working.

I grew up with the IRA mainland bombings. It was a fact of life but people didn't worry about it on a day to day basis.

At secondary school, we learned about the origins of the Cold War (which was very much still going on). When my history teacher taught us about the Cuban Missile Crisis, he also told us how he and his student friends had made sure to say goodbye to each other in the evening because they literally feared that none of them would still be there the next day.

Every generation in this century and the last has had to cope with a huge amount of change and uncertainty. A lot of adults find this difficult and some have worried about whether it was right to bring children into the world. But for children, whatever time they're brought into is their normal and the vast majority cope absolutely fine.

Of course, in previous centuries, life for most people was extremely harsh and also very short compared to modern life expectancy. Unlike us, they didn't have the luxury of introspection. Children today face plenty of challenges but most will still have the luxury of a childhood and their life will be far easier than it would have been a few hundred years ago.

Or maybe you could focus on the fact that with BLM your children have an opportunity to grow up in a far more equal world? The actions of the few violent people who took advantage of the protests were terrible, but please do be clear that racism is literally killing people here in the UK, and politely disapproving is not working. BAME people are multiple times more likely to die in childbirth, twice as likely to die from coronavirus - these deaths are less visual than a clip on the news from a protest, but far more deadly.

The suicide rate of 10.1 deaths per 100,000 population is the lowest since the organisation began recording data on suicide in the United Kingdom in 1981. There was also more alcohol abuse and more domestic violence.

We were not all safe before social media and phones. Maybe you felt that way because you were a child and privileged, but there was the same or more suffering. Things are not all bad, even in this very hard time. Maybe you can help do something active to make a difference for your children - the biggest risk that really is increased is climate change.

There was also more alcohol abuse and more domestic violence.
In the past, I should have said!

I grew up in the 80's and it was never a peaceful and trouble free time. Lots of examples already listed I the thread so I won't repeat. I'm just focusing on making the best of it for my dc and they are having a wonderful time. Yesterday dd10 declared was the best day of her life so far so lockdown isn't doing too badly.

@Destroyedpeople
Oh so sorry. What politically correct term are we allowed to call them these days ?

The riots in Brixton etc in the early 80s were regarded as the first major clashes between dissatisfied black youths and the white police force. You had best tell Google to amend their information as if you look it up they are listed as race riots !

A 'race riot' would suggest something quite different...as in white and black populations fighting. That is not what happened..
It's not being 'politically correct ' it's being accurate.
I even had to pull my mother up on using this term back then.
Wikipedia is just edited by the public and is therfore not a'reliable source '.

I think the big thing that connects all the issues you’ve raised is...... social media / internet.

This is the first generation to grow up with such instant access to all the horrors of the world.

It’s terrifying, and I feel mostly the same as you, OP.

Yes the internet heightens things. I am often sad at the things I've seen online. Alot of negative stuff to soak in.

It's true actually. My mum was born in the 50s. They were not rich. But he describes it as a safe time. Kids played out. Neighbours spoke. She said how you went to the shop for your neighbours. There was more respect and discipline back then. I think it just disheartens me to see each generations getting more and more cocky and disrespectful. A fight used to be a fight. Now you often see groups jumping on one person and they film it because they think they are untouchable.

I think being a more privileged generation is the problem. Many are spoilt and don't appreciate life or possesions.

Your children would probably be safer if you fed then better quality food.
If your children don't appreciate what they have, that is down to you.

Well at least from next week family members can visit our psychiatric patients- obvs have to wear masks etc, but as the wards have been on lock down since March they have not been able to visit - to see them, only bring stuff in for them.

I remember the 80s riots (Brixton etc) and would agree that they weren't race riots. I see them more as anger by young black people over racist policing and also disaffected young people, both black and white, who didn't see any hope for their future in Thatcher's Britain.

The term race riots is more applicable to the 1950s Notting Hill riots when white thugs attacked the West Indian immigrants.

There was more respect and discipline back then. I think it just disheartens me to see each generations getting more and more cocky and disrespectful. A fight used to be a fight. Now you often see groups jumping on one person and they film it because they think they are untouchable. I think being a more privileged generation is the problem. Many are spoilt and don't appreciate life or possesions

Every generation has said the same about younger generations.

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers

Socrates

Exactly cariad...Notting hill was a 'race riot' 'Brixton was an anti police riot.

My mum was born in the 50s. They were not rich. But he describes it as a safe time. Kids played out. Neighbours spoke. She said how you went to the shop for your neighbours. There was more respect and discipline back then

Safe if you were white, in a comfortably-off family, in a decent neighbourhood, that is. There were still "No blacks, no Irish, no dogs" signs up in some UK hotels until the 1970s. Domestic violence rates were higher, and life expectancy was lower. Infant mortality was far higher. Literacy was lower. Many cancers that are now treatable were a death sentence. Your chances of going to university were much lower - and for women and BAME people, much much much lower. Corporal punishment for children was the norm. Household management was labour intensive and fell.almost entirely to mothers. Parents of many children had suffered severely in the war, and their mental scarring affected their parenting - but there was no support available for almost all, and things were kept behind closed doors.

Many things are getting better, perhaps it's time to step away from the news a bit and reflect on how we are incredibly fortunate compared with most of history, and most of the world right now. There are some great books too, backed by facts and good for perspective, like Steven Pinker’s The Better Angels of Our Nature: The Decline of Violence in History and its Causes - or even a spell volunteering could let you take a role in helping to solve the issues that concern you, and to realise how lucky your children are to have a parent who is worried for them.

@margoletta

Excuse me? I take it that's about my meat post?

Ok today they have had Weetabix
Banana for a snack
Ham sandwiches with grapes, blueberries and a yoghurt.
They are having mash, fish and veg for tea?

How dare you suggest my children eat crap because I mentioned the quality of meat being poor!! They eat a variety of fruit and vegetables every day!!!!!

@margoletta

Did I say they don't appreciate what they have? Considering ones still in nappies. They are innocent kids still. I'm on about the attitude of some teenagers and adults now.

Hi OP, I understsand why you can feel sad about it all, probably a lot of parents do right now but like other posters have said there has always been similar going on when we grew up.

This is the first generation to grow up with such instant access to all the horrors of the world. Exactly as @YardleyX says. I believe not having the escape is a huge part of it. My generation had to make an effort to watch the 6 oclock news or pick up a news paper, now it's turn on your phone/tablet/laptop and it's in your face 24/7 either news reports or social media.

My youngest DC turned 18 just before Lockdown and I am still worried aobut her screen time so goodness knows what it is like for parents of younger children! I know limiting screen time and having more family time is easier said than done but I would strongly advise this. Taking your children away from access to the constant news and some fun and distraction will do you and them a lot of good and you hopefully won't feel so despondent.