Anorexia and an older woman - me

[WallsKOL]

I’ve always had a very complicated relationship with food ever since I was a teenager & I’m now 49, 5’6” & 7 st 9.
I haven’t sat down & had a meal in years.
If I cook sausage & mash I’ll serve myself 1 sausage & pile my plate with veg. I’ll eat 1/2 the sausage.
I haven’t eaten before 6pm in about 2 years.
I don’t exercise apart from sit ups most nights.
I would love to enjoy a plate of food or a pizza .
Tonight a friend bought burgers (not McDonalds but an independent retailer) & I took the chicken out of the bun.
I stare longingly at the food - I want to enjoy it. During the hot weather I got a cornetto - half of it is melted in the door thing.
If I’m hungry I pour over the calorie count which inevitably is the most tasteless food & I throw it out.
Am I too old to seek help ?

No way too old to get help! 49 is not old, for one thing. How do you feel about talking to a loved one about what you're going through? Or could you make an appointment with your GP?

If both these feel too big right now, have a look at Beat eating disorder website online. You can call their helpline or have a 1:1 webchat.

Not too old.

@thisusernameismine - thank you for the website. Unfortunately I can’t talk to my family about this as I think I've put them through enough in my teen years - I have a distinct recollection of my older brother cornering me on the stairs & throwing table mats at me whilst screaming ‘ why can’t you just eat’
But I feel I want to get help so thank you I’m looking at the site now

Correction. NEVER too old.

Do you want help, OP?

How's your general health?

No it's not too late. Ask your GP for a referral. BEAT is a good resource. I second that. You could have 1/2 your life left- never too old.

No, not too late at all - apart from actual help with eating, telling your GP will make it possible for any long term consequences of your ED to be found, treated or monitored, such as bone density, vitamin levels and the like.

You are never too old to ask for help.

Please seek help
There’s so much pleasure to be had from nice food.
It’s like giving yourself a big hug when you make a nice meal for yourself.

Its self love in the nicest possible sense.. because you deserve it

Family can be clumsy, it’s hard to grasp the reality of food struggles. My daughter is recovering from anorexia she has been at a restored weight for a few years buts it’s still there. We have all said things we regret including her older brother. Hers began at 13 when she started running and got nice comments about losing weight and it snowballed. Simple words but so much damage. It’s not to late to get help, my DD will probably need intermittent support for some time to come. It destroyed her self esteem and has worked hard to restore it. Ask for blood test, ask for help and get some vitamins, calcium, magnesium, vitamin D and B12. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself, never speak to yourself in away you would not speak to others.

No, please seek help, or at least talk to BEAT. Eating disorders affect women of all ages, and everyone affected should be able to access treatment. Services are increasingly seeing older women (as in, not teenagers and very young adults) and are getting better at supporting them as a result. With the right treatment, progress can be made, and recovery is possible. Good luck.

OP, my aunt is in her 70s and has anorexia. If she'd sought help at 49, she might have changed the course of her life. Instead she has struggled on alone and only started to access help in the last couple of years.

There are many older women with anorexia, so please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed.

You are doing a really brave thing.

Thank you all for your responses & I don’t want to single anyone out but @Boulshired - I know he didn’t know what to do to help & I was a burden & there was understandably resentment & I love him 😍
It’s hard but I it’s now not just my health (it is) it’s my mental health suffering - I can not live a life without checking calories & if I feel I’ve eaten too much I have to do more sit ups

You are here and you are talking about it, that is such a big step.