Any recommendations for books that inspired you to change your life??

[Gemi33]

Hi All

I don’t really know where to start. In a few days it will be my 37th birthday and somehow I have managed to reach this age without achieving very much at all. I’m feeling really lost and don’t know how to change things. I am single, live alone, no children, don’t own my own home. I’m overweight and exhausted. I have quite a stressful job which takes over a bit and before the whole Covid thing I had been looking at other jobs because I feel I need a change and for all sorts of reasons this job has eaten away at my confidence and I don’t feel like myself. However, there are very few jobs around and particularly now, the sorts of fields I’d be looking at are not recruiting so I feel a bit stuck. In the last few days I have suffered a family bereavement and this has obviously made things even worse. I just feel at an all time low and no idea how to turn things around or make things better. I feel very lonely and just really sad that I have managed to reach this age without achieving any of the things I wanted to.

I don’t expect any easy solutions but I’m a big reader and wondered if anyone has ever read any really inspiring books that helped them to work on themselves or change things in their lives? I feel like I need some positivity and motivation to see a way forward.

xx

You are describing me a few years ago! Really you are!
The book ‘ Feel the fear and do it anyway’ helped me see that I needed to write down what I wanted and work out ways to do it. I bought myself a beautiful notebooks and started writing down what I wanted. Procrastination was preventing me from working towards what I wanted in life. The book is a classic self help book that I can honestly say helped me look at my life in a new way. I am sure others will have helpful books too. Counselling helped me a lot too.

I remember someone saying to me that I needed to be kind to myself and I think you need to especially as you have a bereavement. Treat yourself to something that helps you feel better. For me, this would be to buy some fragrant flowers or go for a long walk. I also realised that I was in a rut where I needed to take greater care of myself. I lost weight, spent more time getting ready in a morning by putting on makeup and nice jewellery every day, assesorised more with bags,scarves etc. which took effort and investment. So, first step for you - be kind and treat yourself to something - how about that!

John Grisham's The Runaway Jury made me give up smoking.
Please note the book is different from the film as the movie is about guns etc.

Thank you for your kind replies. I'll look into the book suggestions. I had counselling several years ago and it did help but I'm not sure I can afford it now and the only thing it seems possible to be referred for is CBT which I haven't found helpful.

I think I feel so overwhelmed and just a failure. It would be really nice to have someone to help me carry the load, to feel like I have to deal with everything alone.

xx

Tony Robbins, Unlimited Power

Or studying NLP

Not sure if they are quite what you are looking for but I’d recommend ‘How to Fail’ by Elizabeth Day and the memoir ‘The Rules do Not Apply’ by Ariel Levy. I’m not sure they inspire change so much but explore (in very different ways) the theme of ‘life doesn’t always work out how you want it to and how to learn and move on from that’. I’d also try Wild by Cheryl Strayed for inspiration on getting out of a rut - walking the PCT is extreme but it shows that you can change your life and achieve things you didn’t think possible. For fiction try Holly Bourne’s ‘how do you like me now’ which again is a very perceptive book about being in your thirties and the pressures that brings.

How to do everything and be happy by peter jones.

The happiness project by Gretchen Rubin
The artist's way by Julia Cameron (12 weeks with tasks)

You've motivated me to restart the artist's way, I got up to week 8 last time, although the "artist's date" part might be a little restricted at the moment.

Atomic Habits by James Clear (recently)
Feel the fear and do it anyway (a few years ago)

Thank you for all the suggestions - I was just looking at the happiness project today actually and I will look at some of the others. Feeling very low tonight so at least this gives me something to focus on. I think I've heard of the artist's way but I'm not really an arty person so probably thought it might not be my kind of thing.

Feel the Fear - Susan Jeffers

Who Moved My Cheese - Spencer Johnson