I don’t think I have an eating disorder... Or do I?

[HelpIHaveNothingToWear]

Let me preempt this by saying I know you lot any diagnose me and I should probably see my GP, but I was just wondering if anyone has experienced similar... Annd whether it got better!

I usually have a healthy relationship with food and a positive body image.

But when I get anxious I find myself unable to eat. Then my appetite descreases and I eat even less, and even though I know it’s unhealthy, I sort of enjoy the hunger, and then the hunger going away. I also weigh myself a lot and enjoy the weight loss.

Like for many people the last few months have been stressful and since May I have lost 15lb (7kg). I am still a healthy BMI (19.1) though I know it’s not healthy to lose weight like this.

I think I do it (not eat) because it is something I can control when everything else feels out of control.

But I don’t have many of the other signs of an eating disorder:

• I’m not underweight
• I don’t have a negative body image
• I’m not scared of high calorie food (for example sometimes I will have chips and enjoy it, but then I’ll eat very little rest rest of the time)
• I don’t overexercise

Basically my only problem is that I severely restrict my food intake for no apparent reason. Has anyone had this issue and how did you overcome it?

Telling me to “just eat more” won’t help. On some level I want to eat and I know I need it, but I just can’t...

I think it's so common to have an unhealthy relationship with food. Like you, I've lost weight since this pandemic; it's a reaction to the stress/worry for me.
Some people are the opposite and have comfort eaten through the stress. Both are forms of unhealthy disordered eating. I don't know many women who don't have odd hang ups about food!

Perhaps try to get a hold on this yourself? I have started trying to eat 3 small meals a day. You can still feel in control and stick to small portions.

I hate the feeling of being full and usually go to bed hungry but I'm eating enough to avoid being too unhealthy. I also take a multi vitamin and iron tablets.

Try not to feel too anxious about your eating but be aware that it needs monitoring. x

Smiley with respect (truly!), I would not advocate from experience that OP sticks to just monitoring and getting a handle on this herself. She could do but from what she’s writing there is a dangerous and real potential this could spiral. Early intervention can result in easier and faster improvement in symptoms and mindset. Far better she seeks help now while she is able and willing to openly acknowledge something is going wrong.

The thought of losing weight both pleases you and scares you. I can relate to that when I was really unwell and I thought I looked awful at my worst (I'm not saying you do I'm just pointing out that ED are not neccessarily an overwhelming desire to be as thin as possible)....but as long as the sensation of being pleased with weight loss (whether out of control, or pursuit of thinness) then the scary feeling will probably be a background emotion and you will try to ignore the damage to your mental and physical health.

Eating disorders are all about control and it doesn't matter if you're underweight or not. This could be the start of something more serious but you have acknowledged it and that's a step in the right direction

CoveredInBeeeees yes fair point. If I'm honest, I would probably call myself a "functioning anorexic" for want of a better word. I eat enough to not be ill and hover around 8 stone but it's not a particularly normal or happy relationship with food
I'm probably not the best person to advise! I do understand the reaction to stress that Op describes. I restrict my eating as a result of stress too.

I've found it helpful to concentrate on other ways to relieve stress like getting out, reading, walking etc because that helps the eating problems (indirectly) if that makes sense.