I don't know how to deal with this

[Planetaryexplorer]

I'm in my early 40's and I'm being bullied by some other mums at my children's primary school. It has started because they hate the head teacher, unjustifiably in my opinion. I volunteer at the school and when they start slagging it off on a school group chat I tend to counteract their inaccuracies. They often put things which are easily proven untrue and then have a huff when I say but that's not actually true and present the evidence. Because of this and the fact that I volunteer they seem to think I'm some kind of threat and they hate me. They actively talk about me to other parents, conversations go quiet on the school car park when I go through the gate. I know they have said some horrible things about me.
This weekend after another round of school bashing I left the group chat. I wasn't personal. I gave a generic message and then left. I had however called them out on a number of falsehoods they were spreading.
Today I had a phone call from school to say there had been a complaint from a parent about my child bullying their child. The complaint was made on Monday. My child was only in attendance at school for one day, at the beginning of the previous week (so six days before the complaint was made) . Apparently this had been going on before the C19 lockdown and involved another child as well. There was also an inference that my elder child who has now left the school bullied another child into leaving. None of this is true. The children are in small bubbles and have the same teacher supervision throughout the day including breaks and lunch. The school have observed over the last few days and have found no evidence of any bullying. Fortunately my child is moving bubbles next week so won't have any contact with this child from now on anyway.

It is just so malicious and I am worried about how much lower they will stoop. I can be pretty certain they will be badmouthing both the school, head and me throughout our entire community. This will include telling anyone who will listen that my children are bullies. I really don't know what they want to achieve.
I don't know how to deal with the emotional distress this is causing me. I will not retaliate to them and I will continue to hold my head high but I feel sick to my stomach.

God this sounds awful. I'd explain everything to a teacher you trust before it gets more out of hand. Some people just never grow up, do they? Wishing you all the best.

How horrible for you. I'd tell the head so they can keep an eye on the kids. But otherwise, ignore ignore ignore

I hated all that when my eldest daughter was in primary. The parents were bitches in that year. Yes some of the dads were bitches too. With my second child it was a breath of fresh air as they were lovely. Report to the school then just ignore and avoid.

Primary school right?. I've been through primary with 4 kids. My best advice would be just don't give it oxygen. My heart goes out to you it can seem all consuming & a shitty place to be. Eventually it will burn its self out, people come and go from the school every year and the dynamic changes and then your kids go to secondary school and you never have to be involved with these parents again. Until then tap out, a quick smile & hello to randoms at drop off.& pick up, and leave them to it.

You all sound like you're at primary school, not parents.

The best thing you did, was to leave the chat group.

Leave them to it.

@Slothsarecreepy

You all sound like you're at primary school, not parents.

Why be unkind? You sound quite mean yourself

I didn't intend it to sound 'mean' but it does sound exactly like the kind of silly drama reported by primary school children and not by adults in their 40s .

@Slothsarecreepy it’s not childish to be upset by people actively bad mouthing you and your children. The others sound like they’re in primary school, not the OP. OP has stated this is causing emotional distress, and your comment doesn’t help that.

*Intergalactica*Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated.
It is absolutely childish but it's also dangerous. They are not children and their actions have repercussions. The HT is aware of the situation. Their campaign of vindictiveness started on her and has now moved on to me too. I have documented everything that has occurred so I have a record should this escalate. I think their next course of action will be a complaint against me in my capacity as a volunteer.

What's 'dangerous' about it? An adult, professional HT would be more than prepared for, and able to deal with moaning on SM without needing a defender who then runs back to tell them and creating silly nonsense about bullying. FGS you're adults and you're just as bad as them OP.

Slothsarecreepy
There are absolutely policies in place that will deal with this and I know any complaints would come to nothing. However I live in a small community. You really can't see how damaging it is for a group of people to be vindictively spreading rumours about my professional integrity (I only volunteer at the school but I work in the community) and how all my children are bullies? Forgive me if I find this upsetting and actually quite scary.

Try and focus your mind on the fact that it’s not true. The school are watching and see no evidence. You know they bitch about the head teacher too. People will come to see that they’re nasty gossips. It’s just a bunch of bitchy people. It won’t change who you or your children are. People might believe it initially but won’t when they see for themselves that it isn’t true.

No I don't sorry, I find it all silly. A woman in her 40s (I am too) saying she's being 'bullied' by other Mums gossiping about them? It's daft. I'm sure the HT knew people were moaning about the school on SM as it's so common, and didn't need you to defend them, flounce out of chat groups and then report you're being 'bullied' for defending the HT.

It's all so childish and you've played your part and I'd imagine the HT was more than able to deal with the moaning and you've now now created some nonsense unecessary drama that you want them to deal with.

This must be horrible for you to have to deal with but when you say I tend to counteract their inaccuracies, it makes me think that you might come across as a little self--righteous and smarmy.