How to offer to contribute without seeming grabby myself?

[Thistledew]

At work we have a practice of having a whip round for a present and sending a card when someone has a new baby. We aren't always particularly efficient at getting this out promptly and obviously with the current disruption people may not be thinking about such things.

Both I and a friend of mine at work have had babies recently. Hers was born about 4 weeks after mine. I've not received the usual email asking people whether they want to contribute to my friend's gift. Neither have I received a gift myself.

I genuinely do not care whether or not a whip round is being organised for me, but if they are doing one for my friend I would like to contribute.

I was thinking of emailing another work friend who often arranges such things and asking if someone is organising something for my friend, but I don't want this to be seen as hinting at "where's my present then"!

Any suggestions as to how go about this?
My work friend is a good 'work friend' but we are not so close that it would not seem odd if I sent her something individually.

Do nothing.

The stress of "looking" grabby is too much. Let some other people do the thinking here.

No don’t so this, it will look as if you are fishing for your present.

By all means send the other lady a card and gift from you as an individual though.

Don’t do this.

I would just send a card and present to your friend. If you haven’t already of course

I’d assume that the whole remote working scenario means the logistics of organising it have gone a bit haywire and that neither of you will get a present, tbh. It’s one thing to do a casual cash in envelope whip round and sign a card when you’re all in the office, a bit more for an organiser to ask people to PayPal cash, oh and here’s bank details for whoever doesn’t have PayPal, well and anyone who doesn’t like making bank transfers could post a cheque etc etc.

If you really want something to go to your work friend then I think you have to be the one to take an initiative and start the collection (recognising above payment issues etc) and then hope someone then takes the initiative to do the same for you. Yes, it may well look like you’re hinting. I think if you care enough about work friend then you have to suck that up, or just do nothing.

My work friend is a good 'work friend' but we are not so close that it would not seem odd if I sent her something individually.

No it honestly wouldn't.

Lots of people will be sending her baby gifts. You won't look any different.

I'd much rather that than look like you're being passive aggressive because you didn't get sent a gift from your colleagues.

If I received an email from you asking whether a collection was being arranged for someone else, I would take it at face value, not jump to conclusions about how grabby you were.