Can your DH/DP stack the dishwasher?

[WhyAskMe]

I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet but we have a slim line dishwasher and I can get pretty much the whole kitchen in there and it will come out clean. I come down this morning to a pile of washing up. I assume the dishwasher hasn't been run. Nope it has. The back row had two pasta shallow bowl plates and a side plate taking up the entire space with a tin tray at either end! How, how can he not manage to get more in the back row by simply stacking it better?! To those who tell me I should just do it then, I usually do but I was busy getting our baby to bed and then doing his invoices! Honestly it just both winds me up and baffles me. I kind of wish he had just left it for me to run this morning as I unstack it every day and now have had to wash up too.

Yes. Because he's not a fuckwit.

He can, but I prefer to do it the way I like. He puts the plates in wrong 😂 however he is the jenga master with our freezer. I swear that he has some sort of superpower. I look at it and think nope no more room, next thing he’s managed to fit in 3 pizzas, a bag of chips and a couple of deboxed magnums. He’s a genius

Yes much better than me.

No my dh is scared of the dishwasher, and my Dd2 isn't able to put things in properly. She's an engineer.
My main issue is modern bowls take up too much space in dishwashers.

@eggandonion I have the same issue. I have tried for ages to find bowls which don't take up the whole dishwasher. I bought some from Matalan in the end and they are still big but not 4 inches deep like the last lot I had.

Obviously he can. But he’s really inefficient. And prone to leaving things on the worktop above the dishwasher.

Yes, but not as well as me. Doesn't help that it's an ancient ikea one and the racks have very little flexibility.

And yes, it's the bowls. Denby pasta bowls. They need 2 spaces each. I have some of the deeper ones that I rarely use now.

It's the biggest cause of aggro in our house. I now quietly re-stack it and he pretends not to notice. It works for us.

He has form for just putting everything on the top deck because it's easier. Plus, I know you don't have to scrape the plates before going in,but he leaves big chunks of food on them, and then the filter gets clogged (which he never empties.. )

DH is regularly exasperated by what he considers to be my ham-fisted attempts to load the dishwasher. I usually leave him to it.

Oh we each have our own way of doing it. But as we are both equally capable of doing it so that the dishes come out clean, we let each other get on with it.

I certainly wouldn’t be doing the washing up if my husband were so ineffectual, lazy and entitled that he thinks it’s okay to stack a couple of plates and leave the kitchen a shithole for his wife to deal with in the morning. He’d be getting short shrift from me and he’d be permanently doing the dishwasher/any incidental washing up/properly cleaning the kitchen until he could behave like a man I could respect.

Why are you doing his invoices when he isn’t willing to reciprocate your help by doing things properly for you? Do you enjoy being with a manchild?

Stacking the dishwasher is pretty much his job, in my defense (in normal times) he fills the breakfast pots after I have gone to work so knows how they go to get them all in.

The freezer on the other hand - just shoves it in and hopes for the best.

My husband has been known to refill our dishwasher after I’ve done it.

However he’s also been known to wash one dish pan and one frying pan in it!

P.S. when I say do it properly for you I mean in context of a reciprocal exchange. I can pretty much guarantee that you don’t sit there and purposely do a shit job of dealing with his invoices, do you? No. You have the self-respect and the respect for him to just do the job once and do it well. Expect the same from him, fgs, and stop playing along with his shitty behaviour.

The only way is to 'train' him. You need to stand nearby & instruct but not intervene. Eventually his pride will learn to not just do it right but better than you & prove it to you. Happy days then.