School called, said DS11 not socially distancing over weekend, is excluded, but it never happened!

[MinecraftMother]

Sorry for the long thread title.

I'm at my desk today and the deputy head of my DS11's school calls me.

She said that they've been made aware that he was not practising social distancing this weekend and so would not be allowed to attend school until next Monday.

The thing is, he's been with me, in our home all weekend and we've not been anywhere. Sure, dog walks, but they believe he's been gaming and had a sleepover somewhere.

I'm trying to figure out where this story of him spending THE WEEKEND (!!) at his friends' house has come from, but tomorrow morning, can they refuse to take him?

He, like all our kids, really needs to go to school. For his sake, and frankly for all our sakes. We have two younger kids and two frantic full time jobs, for the minute 😔

I told his teacher that it wasn't true. He was with me all weekend and we practiced good social distancing, at all times well within the law. She said she'd have a word with the head and come back to me. I haven't heard anything else - but her call was towards the end of the day.

Poor thing. Imagine having to make those calls and then reaching me with my absolute denial. What a position teachers have found themselves in. I really feel for them.

Anyway, the truth is he's been perfect, what if tomorrow they will not take him? I'm already taking DD9 to the office with me 😆 I can't bring another!!

Do you know the parents of the friend he's been accused of having a sleepover with. Maybe they could contact the school and confirm your story. Although I think it would be shocking of the school to not believe you.

I would raise a complaint about this. Totally unacceptable to exclude him based on hearsay. Even if he had done it, is there any written policy that says they can exclude pupils based on not following social distancing?

How bizarre! Where on earth did they get this story from? I’m guessing another child trying to cause trouble maybe?? Just send him to school they can’t exclude him because of random accusations and no proof.

Take him to school. They have no right to exclude him even if he had spent a weekend with someone but the fact is he hasn't.

Who made them aware?

I’m disgusted by this and would be making a formal complaint. How dare they go on rumours- just awful. Complain for sure.

Have they actually excluded him or said he can’t attend school?
Schools can refuse entry to students currently (not normally) for a myriad of reasons, as there aren’t fixed rules about who can attend. The boards on here show the variation. Kids in schools are testing positive, PHE aren’t contacting schools to inform. It’s a bit of a mess is an understatement. If so far you’ve been happy with how school have acted, I’d roll with this. Find out more if you can. This shows how schools are struggling - imagine that it’s reported, they ignore, comes in, someone is positive... even in this scenario it might have nothing to do with your kid. However, it would never be viewed like this... Testing is under capacity, get him tested? I suspect that this will be the go to answer in September in cases like this. It’s another effect of this, something schools are going to have to learn to manage.

God! If we banned all the kids who hadn’t been socially distancing we wouldn’t have any left in school!

May not be relevant as he’s only 11, but does he have a phone that records location and can show where he was all weekend.

This is outrageous. Even if he didn’t social distance, schools have always been quick enough to say what happens outside school is nothing to do with them. I’d definitely raise a formal complaint. Totally overstepping the mark

Could they have confused him with someone else?

I really have no idea how they came to this conclusion. 🤷‍♀️

I have emailed - after my conversation and before a meeting (so quickly!) - I just said "confirming our conversation earlier, DS11 has been at home with me all weekend, practice sing all the good shit...please let me know why you thought this - see you tomorrow" 😆

The other kids aren't in school. They're twins. DS12 does visit them, but hasn't for 3 months or so.

One of the TAs is a friend on FB. I wonder if some old photos (from last summer, actually) made her think they were cavorting and snitched? But they didn't come up as a memory or anything.

Or maybe they did and I didn't notice.

There is a policy, received today actually, that kids who do not socially distance in school and wash hands etc will be excluded. I'm not sure if there's wording to that effect for their weekend activities...I'll check.

The school have tried to pick apart the reasons for the key worker kids' attendance - inc doctors' and nurses' kids ffs (the nurse a single
Mother too). It's very clear that they want to deal with as few kids as poss.

On the phone the teacher said they have vulnerable people in school. I asked why? Surely if they are that vulnerable they should stay at home because - let's be honest - there's nothing stopping any of us gallivanting around, a la Cummings, and then coaching the kids to within an inch of their lives...is there?

Maybe tomorrow I'll find out more. I'm a little stung that the conversation started with "we're aware that DS11 was not practising social distancing this weekend and was gaming with Boys A and B and even had a sleepover" not "we've heard this, what's the story?".

Wow, this really hands it to the school bullies on a plate, doesn't it? And not just them, but also any adult who has a grudge against you.

Have you asked your DS where school may have heard it from OP?

They absolutely can refuse it have him at the moment if he hasn’t socially distanced. They could also contact the police to report the incident. Seeing as it’s untrue though, they can’t possibly have any evidence so they won’t be able to push for that and will probably back down.

I did think maybe they got confused. That was my first question - apparently not.

Great idea re: phone. He got his first (5th hand 😂) phone this year so perhaps I can see if his iPhone has been tracking him...kinda not cool, at the same time!!

I'm aware that this is all new for schools. I feel for the teachers to have to play gate keeper and Ms Marple. But in my profession, if you accuse someone of something in the first contact with them, you'd better have that smoking gun to hand or you look like an absolute bellend...

This is not on and I'd be really pissed off about this.

I'd want to see their evidence. Hear say is not good enough.

@PeterPeterson I did, he said that the teacher came to him to ask if he'd had a nice weekend with Boys A and B...my fella was a little confused (still was, whilst in the crosshairs of my cross examination!) but absolutely adamant he didn't say they were together this weekend.

One of the mums is a doctor and her boys told her they'd been quizzing them about hours mummy and daddy worked, what days and if daddy is at home at all (he's a teacher himself so in school with his key worker kids!!).

Curiouser and curiouser...

I'm intrigued to see your update tomorrow!

I hope they take him without fuss.

I'm going to be quite nervous dropping him off!

This is awful.
Hope you can get it sorted

I bet another kid told them he'd been gaming with your DS and the staff member didn't realise this meant online.

Outrageous behaviour from the school.

What a nightmare! And good on you for picking up the point about “vulnerable people at school” - DE guidance is they (staff or students) should be at home if they are vulnerable and shielding.

So glad my DS’ school so much more flexible - eg happy if only one parent is key worker and certainly not quizzing people on shifts. I made it clear that I only work part time but they were happy to have kids in as many days as would be helpful to help with structure and routine.

But anyway - you’re being given a very hard time and it’s surprising they didn’t check facts with you first.

Someone owes you an apology!

I didn't think of that - gaming online v in each other's rooms...maybe.

God, if they don't take him tomorrow I am totally screwed...I've got a wonderful client whose ex is a toad, using the lockdown so well to his advantage. I've got to plan for a hearing tomorrow and if I have two children in the office with me, esp DS11 who needs something to do to be fed to him 24/7, I'll cry.

Wah! We followed the rules (this time!) waaah!!