How to let friend know that DS doesn't want to play with her DS as much

[Lalallama]

DS's (10) friend has had a really tough few years, and it's just him and his mum at home. He moved schools so no longer goes to the same school as DS. DS really struggled when he left but since made new friends, but still keeps in touch with his old friend. Obviously they're not at school at the minute, but now we're allowed to go into people's gardens he's been to this friends' to play a couple of times.

But he's grown apart from him and doesn't really want to go, he says he was bored when he was there. But the friend's mum is really desperate for him to see friends, he hasn't really made any close friends at his new school, and DS is one of the only friends he's kept in touch with from his old school.

DS says he doesn't really want to go and would rather be at home, but feels bad just saying no. We can't really make an excuse and say he's busy as obviously he's just at home all day. They ask at least a couple of times a week.

They're really lovely, but I dont think it's fair on DS to make him go round so often when he doesn't want to. But what can we say so we don't upset them?

It's a tricky one. What would your DS be happy with? Could you arrange the next date in advance e.g. Wednesday is good for us, let's make it a weekly thing etc? Obviously only if your DS is happy with that.

If you want an excuse you could say you are leaving time between different people e.g. you want to see a vulnerable relative so are limiting contact for 2 weeks beforehand or just trying to only do something every few days to space out contacts.

Before lockdown they did tend to see each other roughly once a week and arranged it in advance and that worked ok. But because it all depends on the weather as they obviously can't go in each other's houses we can only really arrange it a day or two before. It makes it more difficult because she knows I'm struggling with me and DH working and home schooling, so she is trying to be helpful so we can have a break from DS for a bit. But I don't want to force him to go.