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Original poster

Sisters playing together

21 replies

tinyidiot · 07/06/2020 10:05

This is going to sound like a massive humble brag...

DD7 and DD4 will literally spend all day playing together with their toys - to the extent that at weekends and after homeschool we barely see them!

Part of me thinks this is great because they are learning how to get on with each other (particularly when they don't have any other peer interaction at the moment) and keeping themselves occupied with imaginative games. And part of me feels guilty that I get to spend entire days reading and following my own pursuits without interacting with my children at all!

We always have at least one meal together as a family each day on a weekend, and obviously we interact with them more on homeschool days as we're setting them work and talking them through it etc. But when they have "free time" I feel like they're Enid Blyton kids who basically disappear until meals.

Does this sound weird or broadly OK to you?

OP posts:

fairyfingers · 07/06/2020 10:47

Meh.

I have twin pre teen girls. They have been each other's saviour recently and ours. They bicker like you wouldn't believe but over 75% of the time they are a tight little unbreakable unit where ma and pa (as they have taken to calling us) are irrelevant.

So enjoy. They are happy so you be happy.

GrumpyHoonMain · 07/06/2020 10:53

I think it’s ok provided you keep checking on them periodically.

Original poster

tinyidiot · 07/06/2020 11:32

@GrumpyHoonMain

I think it’s ok provided you keep checking on them periodically.

Yes - they're puttering around the house, so we check all is OK when we see them. But they're happy just playing together. They do occasionally fall out (usually when DD4 feels DD7 has promised she'll play a certain game and then DD7 reneges) but it's rarely serious and usually blows over almost immediately.

Just feels that I'm getting off a bit lightly on parenting when I'm sitting reading my book and DH is watching his Netflix documentary!

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ToothFairyNemesis · 07/06/2020 11:33

Is this some kind of stealth boast? Why would it be a problem?

formerbabe · 07/06/2020 11:35

Oh I think it's fab.

I think the whole concept of parents playing games with their children and constantly doing activities with them is a fairly modern one. Decades ago, women would have been getting on with household chores and kids left to their own devices.

That's the bonus of having siblings...a constant playmate.

Redwren · 07/06/2020 11:38

Sounds amazing! My daughters have a 3 year gap at 5 and 2 and I have everything crossed they are like that in a couple of years. Right now dd2s lack of communication skills cause big falling outs

TwistedSisters · 07/06/2020 11:40

My sister and I were like this despite there being a 4 year age gap. Mum always says we were inseparable from day one. 25 years later, my sister is still my best friend and my 'person' , we speak to each other several times in a day despite living apart. Enjoy it, if they have a link like that then they are very lucky.

Original poster

tinyidiot · 07/06/2020 11:53

@ToothFairyNemesis I totally get that it seems like a stealth boast. I guess I don't want the girls growing up thinking we were distant or emotionally absent parents.

My brother and I used to fight like cat and dog so I have no frame of reference for this.

Heartening to hear stories of siblings who've grown up close though. I love that.

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Windyatthebeach · 07/06/2020 11:55

Just wait until they are both teens.
Ime...

Think there is a teens boards!!

Floralnomad · 07/06/2020 11:57

Sounds great to me , one of my sisters is 18 months older than me and that sounds just like we were as children and like the pp she is still my best friend 50+ years later . My own dc unfortunately have literally only started to get on now they are both 18+ but at least they do now .

Nowthereistwo · 07/06/2020 12:02

My two (4 & 7) are like this 90% of the time - especially when we were both WFH full time.

I did feel the guilt, especially when the 4yr old started calling the 7yr old mum, I'd answer and she said not you!

I just make sure to play a few games with them as well and then let them crack on.

MargotLovedTom1 · 07/06/2020 12:04

As pp said, previously it was the norm for parents and children to just do their own thing. 70s and 80s parents didn't feel the need to be entertaining their children for hours a day. I don't remember my mother playing games with me - in bad weather I either played board games with my older brother, or played with my dolls and Lego or read books. Most of the time I played out with my friends.

I didn't grow up feeling my mother was distant or uninvolved - it was just the norm!

I'd make the most of it if I were you, and enjoy the fact that they don't need to entertained or watching TV non-stop.

Original poster

tinyidiot · 07/06/2020 13:00

Thanks all. I am enjoying the freedom not to have to entertain (particularly during lockdown when I'm planning stuff every day for homeschool), but just wanted to check that nobody thought it was neglectful I barely spoke to my kids at weekends!

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Diverseduvet · 07/06/2020 13:04

Its great they play so well together. Maybe balance it with some games you do with them or teach them, like cards.

merryhouse · 07/06/2020 13:18

I'd have thought it odd if my mother spent the day trying to play with us.

We spent time with our parents on holiday or days out (though even then we'd be off only broadly in their vicinity once we didn't actively need parental input), and on the evenings granny came round we'd play cards or scrabble or something, but general day-to-day entertaining ourselves at home wasn't organised by parents. (My mother was one of those who would Find You Something To Do if you complained of being bored )

Deadringer · 07/06/2020 13:18

Make the most of it i say. My dc played together a lot until my younger one was 4, then the constant bickering began. They are a boy and a girl though so that might make a difference.

Nomummyonlyzuul · 07/06/2020 13:26

That's lovely op, I remember my sister and I playing for hours like this as children, making up games as we went along. My own little ones on the other hand just had a literal punch up, they cant agree on anything today, sigh!

ToothFairyNemesis · 07/06/2020 13:30

I guess I don't want the girls growing up thinking we were distant or emotionally absent parents.
I wouldn’t worry about that your post demonstrates that you care a lot about your dd’s emotional well-being.

ScreamingKid · 07/06/2020 13:34

This is the golden age. The hard work of the pre school years are over so the lull you into a false sense of security before the teens.

Wilberforce1 · 07/06/2020 13:41

Oh god this makes me soooo jealous! I have two a boy aged 11 and a girl age 6, absolutely nothing in common and they never play together unless it's bouncing on the trampoline but that ends in shrieking from her because he gets bored and gets off after 5 minutes!!

My friend has girls aged 6 & 9 and she says the same that they just play together all day.

Just enjoy the peace and let them play!

Ginkypig · 07/06/2020 13:58

It's obviously fine.

If you are worried or would like to join In occasionally do they do any games like board games or jigsaws etc that you could just pop in and say can mum join in. Then you get a bit of time with them if you want it but it has a window where once it's done they go back to playing together and you can get on with other things.

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